I ask myself how grateful I am for the life I lead.
I've worked hard to get here. After leaving university to study Economics and Business Management, I joined a large company in the national market. I started as a trainee - even though I was an adult, I took orders from people younger than me. Even so, I conquered my space and even became a model employee. Not that I want to brag, but I worked hard to make it possible.
My childhood and adolescence were relatively normal, even though I didn't have any siblings or many friends. I was always dedicated, but only enough to fulfill my obligations. I was shy until the age of 16, when I began to take more of an interest in my classmates. In order to fit in, I gradually changed my behavior: I started dressing up more, talking to other people and finally made some friends. But I have to admit that there was a bit more to it than that.
I've never been the type to stand out for my looks. My skin is light brown and my hair is long and straight. If I wanted to, I could perhaps fit into the group of popular girls - but I lacked charisma, social skills and a long list of other things. Still, with a little effort, maybe I could make it. Overall, I think I'm... acceptable. Isn't that the slang young people use these days?
But my attempts were unsuccessful. I didn't really know how to interact with boys, and all my relationships never went beyond friendship. I wasn't even successful with girls. In the end, I was a failure with both sexes. It frustrated me, but I never let it get me down.
And that's how it's been ever since. Today I'm a 30-year-old spinster, living my life independently and alone.
I've grown more than I should have, which has made my appearance stand out. Since I don't eat much, I've become too thin and tall, with thin arms and legs. To compensate, I dress appropriately, balancing out the lack of curves with well-chosen clothes.
During university, I tried various forms of dating. I appealed to all kinds of guys and even confessed to several boys and girls. Even so, my bad luck was evident: I was rejected over and over again. Even though my heart was broken, I developed resilience and gave up trying. Romance is no longer a problem for me. After all, as long as I have my shoujo novels and manga, I'm not so lonely.
Besides, I have work to occupy my mind, so this "little inconvenience" doesn't distract me so much. Even if it sounds like I'm just making excuses...
An ordinary day at work
Outside the residential district was Tokyo's corporate area, where my company belonged to a small multinational conglomerate. If we keep investing in the right stocks, I think we'll expand more and more.
I can drive, but I avoid it. I'm afraid to drive a car, so I prefer the subway or sometimes the bus. Today, with no snow, the first option was the best.
I arrived quickly thanks to the internal railway line. After a long stretch, I was already in front of the main building.
- Hey! Senpai!
- Hm? Ishida-kun.
I recognized the voice immediately. It was one of my freshmen this year. Ishida always approaches me radiantly, with an enviable smile, even though it's early afternoon.
- Good afternoon! You've arrived just in time for the end of the break. Sometimes I forget how punctual you are. - he said.
- I could say the same about you. You're never late, even on a casual day. Even though your deputy head of department, you arrive at the same time as the rest of us normal employees.
"Normal employees." He still treats me like a superior. I know that's the correct way to refer to me in the hierarchy, but the formality bothers me a bit.
- Cut the crap. Even with the difference in positions, we're still from the same company. What example would I set if I arrived at the time I wanted?
- You're right, senpai.
Suddenly, he stopped in the middle of the road, right at the entrance to the company. He gave a formal salute, bowing deeply.
- I want to thank you for covering my last shift! I'm sorry for abusing your goodwill again!
I smiled.
- What? It was nothing. We should help each other whenever possible, especially in your case, as a first-time father.
Even at a young age, he ended up becoming a father. Many would judge him for it, but over time and conversations at Happy Hours, I came to understand his situation better. Both he and his fiancée were inconsistent, but gradually they adjusted. When we least expected it, he surprised us with the news of his pregnancy. Since then, he's tried his best to be a good father.
- Hehe, my fiancée and I are holding it together. It hasn't been easy for her to cope with the pregnancy... The nausea makes her very weak.
- That's why you have to be close to her at these times. She needs you there. So don't worry about "abusing" my goodwill. Blink.
- Senpai... You really are an angel!
- Not at all! I just like to help, it's no big deal.
He always exaggerates when he talks about me, just like the others. I just do what I can when I can.
Even so, it's frustrating that my young kouhai isn't a virgin! He always asks for advice on how to act in various situations, and I have to hold my ground. I do my best not to let him down as senpai, but honestly... I'm lying in many ways!
We took the elevator up to the third floor together. He continued talking about the turmoil at home and his plans for the future. I looked at my watch. We were about to face the rush of a typical Friday afternoon - the day when everyone tries their best not to carry work over into the weekend.
And... let's go!
As soon as the elevator doors opened, I saw the freshmen running back and forth with reports in their hands, while the seniors finished them on their computers. Some things never change, even over the years.
- Good afternoon, May-san!
- Oh, good afternoon!
- Hello, May-san.
- Hello, May-san!
I'm greeted with greetings as soon as I arrive. Naturally, I'm used to responding in the same way. Among the faces around me, I see everything: happy, sad, nervous, young and old.
- May-san, could you proofread my last report? I don't want to make any more mistakes.
- No problem! Put it on my desk when you've finished.
- Yes, ma'am.