Hacked By Desire

The ocean stretched endlessly beyond the horizon, its waves crashing gently against the side of the boat. The sun was setting, casting golden hues over the water, making the world look like a dream. But for me, this was a nightmare I was desperately trying to wake up from.Because Ethan was here. Lying on my lap. Holding my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like he hadn't just spent the last year loving someone else.I ran my fingers absentmindedly over his knuckles, memorizing the feel of him. How many times had we sat like this, wrapped in our own little world? How many times had I wished this moment meant something more?A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it down. It was stupid. It was pathetic. I had promised myself that I wouldn't do this. Not today. Not on this trip. This was supposed to be the last time-our final getaway before graduation pulled us into separate lives. I should be making memories, laughing, enjoying every second. But instead, I was drowning in emotions I had no right to feel.I glanced down at him. His eyes were closed, his lashes dark against his cheekbones. His breathing was soft, steady. Peaceful. As if the weight of my feelings didn't crush him like they crushed me.I wasn't supposed to love him. Not like this.But I did.And it was destroying me.Two Years Ago - The First Time I Met HimI still remembered the first time I saw Ethan Carter.It was my first day of college, and I was already regretting stepping onto campus. The hallways were filled with beautiful, confident people-girls with flat stomachs, guys with perfect hair, all of them effortlessly fitting into this world. And then there was me. Fat. Awkward. A mess of curves that made me feel like I took up too much space.I had been standing outside the lecture hall, pretending to be busy on my phone, when I felt someone's presence next to me. I glanced up and immediately scowled.The guy leaning against the wall looked like trouble.Messy brown hair, a sharp jawline, dark eyes that held too much amusement. He had that cocky, too-good-looking-for-his-own-good aura that screamed danger."Are you lost?" he asked, smirking.I folded my arms. "No. Are you?"His smirk deepened. "Feisty. I like that."I rolled my eyes and turned away, determined to ignore him. But then, to my horror, he followed me inside and sat right next to me."What the hell?" I whispered, glaring at him.He grinned. "I was going to sit at the back, but you look more fun."I groaned. "Lucky me."That was the beginning.What I didn't know back then was that Ethan would become my best friend. My favorite person. The guy who made me laugh when I wanted to cry. The one who made me feel like I belonged in a world that had never felt like home.And somewhere along the way, I had fallen in love with him.Present Day - The Moment Everything Fell Apart"Jess?"His voice was groggy, pulling me back to the present. I realized I had been staring at him for too long.I forced a smile. "Yeah?"He blinked up at me, still half-asleep. "You okay? You look sad."My throat tightened. If only you knew.I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just tired."He gave my hand a squeeze before stretching lazily. The moment he sat up, the warmth of his body left me, making me feel cold. Empty.I was stupid to let myself believe this moment meant anything.Before I could say another word, the cabin door swung open, and Claire stepped out.His girlfriend.She was gorgeous-slim, blonde, with long legs and the kind of beauty that made guys trip over themselves. And she was looking at Ethan like he was hers.Because he was."Baby, come inside. I'm freezing," she pouted, wrapping her arms around him from behind.Ethan laughed, easily slipping out of my grasp as if he had never been there."Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he said, flashing her that smile that had once been mine.Then, without another glance at me, he disappeared into the cabin with her.And just like that, my heart shattered.Again.I swallowed the ache rising in my throat. I needed to stop doing this to myself.I had always been there for him. Through everything. But when had he ever been there for me? Not once had he looked at me the way he looked at her. Not once had he chosen me.I clenched my fists, forcing myself to breathe.This was it. This was the moment I finally understood.Ethan Carter was never mine.And he never would be.I didn't belong in his world.And it was time for me to leave it behind.Forever.