Bzzzt bzzzt
The alarm blares to life, and I groggily reach over to shut it off. Another day, another chance to put my plan into motion. Yesterday had gone smoothly, everything falling into place just like I'd hoped.
I stretch and get up, heading to my closet. Time to get ready for school.
As usual, the streets are bustling with the morning crowd, the bus station busy with students heading to class. I wait for the bus, my thoughts already drifting to what I need to do today.
"Hey, Nachar, feeling better yet?"
Mika's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I nod. "Yeah, I do."
Mika grins. "So did you hear about what happened yesterday?"
I frown. "No… What happened?"
Mika's grin fades, replaced by a hint of curiosity. "Three drug dealers killed themselves yesterday after chasing some guy."
I blink, surprised. "What? Why would they do that? You think they were after a criminal leader or something?"
Mika shrugs. "I don't know, probably. But still, three of them, and they all killed themselves. That's crazy."
I raise an eyebrow, trying to process the news. "Yeah, man. That's messed up. Why would they just off themselves?"
Before Mika can answer, I spot Suzume and the others.
"Hey guys, just in time!" I call out, smiling.
Zai gives me a curious look. "How so?"
Mika jumps in, "We were just talking about those criminals who shot themselves."
Zai shakes his head, clearly unsettled. "Yeah, that's insane. Three guys, and they just shot themselves?"
Sarah chimes in with a thought. "Maybe the guy they were chasing was a big shot criminal and they couldn't handle the fear?"
Mika seems unconvinced. "Nah. Why would they just shoot themselves over that?"
Suzume interrupts, clearly annoyed. "Can we please stop talking about those three idiots?"
I agree with her. "Yeah, I agree. It's making me sick just thinking about it."
Suzume looks at me with a serious expression. "Hey, Nachar… Can I talk to you for a second?"
I hesitate, wondering if this is some kind of trap. Have I been made already? I swallow the fear and nod. "Sure, what's on your mind?"
She pulls me aside, her eyes soft with concern. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens. I don't know what happened to you yesterday, but I'll never let you do what you planned to do that day."
Her words hit me harder than I expect, and for a moment, I freeze. Her concern is genuine, but she doesn't know. She doesn't know the whole story.
"No… I'd never do that!" I force a smile, trying to keep the conversation light. "Why would I do something like that with such amazing friends like you guys?"
She holds my hands, squeezing them softly. "Thank you… really. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Her eyes glisten, and something about the moment feels too intense. Is she onto me? Could she have figured it out that quickly?
My heart races, but I try to steady my breath. No, I'm not going to crack now.
Suddenly, her voice changes, as if something clicks inside her. "What the hell is wrong with you? You killed those men in cold—"
SLAP
The world shatters, and my vision distorts as her words disappear from my mind. DELETE.
I shake my head, forcing myself back into the present. "So, Suzume, what's on your mind?"
Her tone softens, but I can see the worry lingering in her eyes. "I don't know what happened to you yesterday, but I'll never let you do what you planned to do."
The day continues on, but her words linger in my head. I can't forget what happened when I was younger. The darkness, the confusion, the pain.
June 13th… it feels like it's been so long, but the memories still haunt me.
I was just six years old when my father took his life. No goodbyes. No explanations. Just a body hanging in the living room. The smell of stale alcohol lingered in the air, and all I could do was watch.
My mother came home with Sako, my little brother, and dropped him when she saw it. She broke down into hysterics, and all I could do was stand there, drowning in a sea of tears, unsure of what to do.
I tried to comfort her, tried to tell her it was okay, but all she did was lash out. "Get away from me, you idiot! Who do you think put food on our table, huh? I'd rather have you dead than him!"
Her words cut deep, and I couldn't understand. She was my mother… but I was nothing like that coward who had walked out on us. He wasn't a man—he was a selfish, pathetic excuse for one. The man who couldn't even be bothered to stick around, leaving his family to fend for itself. No words of wisdom. No remorse. Just a body swinging from a rope, and a family shattered because of his failure.
The more I thought about it, the more disgusted I felt. How could someone do that? How could a father abandon his own family, leaving a mother to struggle with two kids on her own? He wasn't a man. He was nothing. And honestly, I was glad he was gone. Good riddance to a life wasted on gambling and drinking.
That was the moment everything changed. I became the one who had to hold it all together. I took care of Sako while attending school, and when I turned 11, I was bullied endlessly. My mother started drinking more, and I had no choice but to drop out of school and work at a grocery store during the day, studying online at night.
I saved every penny. I outgrew most of my clothes, but that didn't matter.
At 15, I withdrew my money from the bank and placed it on the table. I was done.
On the way to the bridge, I saw her. A girl, sitting alone on a bench with a wounded leg. I asked if she needed help, and she accepted. I carried her to the nearest hospital, and for a brief moment, we talked about life. I told her everything, about my pain, my struggles. I was going to die anyway, so what did it matter?
She begged me not to leave. But I did. I walked to the bridge, ready to end it all.
Then she shouted. "STOP!"
I hesitated.
But it was too late.
Beep. Beep.
I wake up in a hospital room, the scent of antiseptic heavy in the air. My body aches, but I'm alive. I don't know how or why, but I'm here.
Suzume's voice is the first thing I hear. "Thank God! What were you thinking? You can't just leave everything behind! You have a mother and a brother! And what about… me?"
I try to speak, but the words are stuck. "I'm sorry… I really am… just like my father."
Months pass. I recover. Suzume and the others help me get back on my feet, both physically and emotionally. I use some of the money I saved up to attend school again, and with their help, I catch up on all the work I missed.
For the first time in years, I feel like a normal person. Not the broken, lost child from before.
"No, Suzume," I say, flashing a grin at her. "I'll never do that again. I have everything I could ever ask for. I've been chosen to fix the world, and I have amazing friends. Don't I?"
Suzume's gaze hardens, but there's a hint of a smile. "You better not."
I smile back. "I won't."
But deep down, I know this is only the beginning. I've seen the world for what it really is. And I'm not going to let anyone stand in my way.
Not ever again.