"Well, is there a ghost in that house, sir?"
Narharibabu was surprised and said, "Ghost! Do you want a ghost with the house? Well, you're welcome, sir! You can get the house cheaply, that's it,
but I can't ask for a ghost with it, sir. If you want a ghost, look at another house. Buy that Naren Bakshi house, you'll get a fair ghost."
–Subuddhi bit his tongue and said, "Oh, shit, shit, why would I want a ghost? Is that something to want? I was talking about an old house, do they often live in old houses?"
Narharibabu was not particularly happy to hear this. He said seriously,
"There is no such thing as an old house having a ghost. Ghosts are not that cheap. If there were ghosts, I could have asked for a couple of lakhs more. I'm just a bad person. Kolkata's famous ghost hunter, Bhootnath Nandi, came only six months ago and offered,
"If there is a guarantee of a ghost, I am willing to pay three lakh rupees." He understood, sir, if there was a ghost, you would not have got the house so cheaply for only one lakh rupees."
–Subuddhi nodded his head and said, "I understand. I see that ghosts are expensive."
"High price, sir, high price. But if the forehead is not bad, couldn't one or two ghosts live in a 150-year-old house?
–But who knows where the wind has blown! Some cadres of the Theosophical Society of Bombay also came to look for the ghost's house.
They also rented the house and stayed for a few days. They did not see even a trace of the ghost's body."
Subuddhi suddenly said, "Do ghosts have scales on their bodies, Narahari Babu?"
Narahari Babu said, bored, "Who knows what they have! They might have scales, they might have big hairs."
"What were you talking about Naren Bakshi's house!"
Narahari Babu lowered his voice a little and said, "There's nothing ghost-like in his house either, sir. It's all a hoax. Bhootnath bought the house for over 150,000 rupees by worshipping Nandi.
At night, he sent his son Gopal dressed up as a ghost. Gopal came into the yard wearing a white chandaar and danced a little. He also talked in a low voice.
That's why Bhootnath Babu was very impressed. He was happy and bought the house. But he is a busy man, he doesn't come here much. The house is always falling apart."
Subuddhi breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Well, I'm very relieved to know that there is no ghost in the house. It was a little bit shabby, considering it's an old house."
Naraharibabu was not happy at all. He seemed a little irritated and said, "You are happy to be free because there is no ghost. But is it good that there is no ghost?
As time goes by, the demand for ghosts is increasing. There is a wind all around saying 'there is no ghost', 'there is no God'.
The stronger the wind gets, the more people are rushing to see ghosts. And the more they rush, the more the ghosts are hiding. Who benefits from that?"
Subuddhi said, a little confused, "That's right!"
"You wiped your face saying 'that's right', but have you considered my loss? I have five other houses on this floor that are 150 years old.
There are. If there are no ghosts, will their prices go up? They are salted, the lime sand is falling off.
The walls have cracked and become a nest for hawks, the Ashwath trees are growing, what is the price of those houses? On the other hand, Bhootnath Nandi has said that if there are genuine ghosts,
he will buy each house for two and a half to three lakhs. But the forehead is such that what can I say.
I have searched all the houses with a Moti Ojha. He recited the fair mantras and looked carefully and came back and said, your luck is bad. There is not a single ghost in any house.
All the houses are clean. I am no longer Naren Bakshi, who will drive away adulterated ghosts! I am the great-grandson of Hari Moira. No one in our family has ever mixed milk with water or semolina in rasgolla. Being a son of that lineage, can I adulterate ghosts?"
Subuddhi nodded his head very intelligently and said, "Of course."
"That's what I was saying, sir, you are happy because there are no ghosts, but I am not. Some people call it Poush month, others call it total destruction."
Subuddhi nodded his head and agreed, "What you said!".
Narahari Babu looked at Subuddhi sternly and said, "Then go, go and live happily in the house of the ghost."
Subuddhi had been feeling very uncomfortable all this time. After being scolded, he ran away. His nephew Kartik was with him.
When he reached the road, Kartik said, "Uncle, I didn't know that ghosts were so expensive!"
"Did I know? Come on, father, the only thing that saved me was the fact that there were no ghosts in the house."