Narrator: "A month has passed since that fateful day when everybody's world got all twisted, leaving them stranded in a castle in the sky. Since then 2,000 souls came to an abrupt and tragic end. Some by bad luck, others by shear stupidity, i mean really why would you really stand in fire. Anyway That didn't bother the kids none, they only cared about one thing and one thing alone, themselves. Cause in a game of life or death, you ether live or you die."
Kirito: "oh wow, what brilliant insight, it's so deep it loops right back around being stupid."
Narrator: "the kids ranted at no one, slowly dawning on just how alone they truly were."
All four: "wait, What was that?"
Narrator: "They asked the sky like preachers to the silent gods."
TRF: "What God's and what are you talking about? It's all bullshit metaphors with you."
Narrator: "they cried not knowing the difference between a simile and a metaphor, the tinynes of their brain only dwelled by the tinynes of their di-"
All four: "narrator off!"
Narrator: "you can silence me but you cANT SILENCE THE TRU-" *narrator turns off*
Kirito: "Dick."
Sinon,Kirina: "bitch."
TRF: "jackass."
________________________________
YEAR: 2023, Town near the first flour boss.
People from the first flour were gathering to advance on the first flour boss so am meeting was held and for now that's were the 4 were.
Diebal: "hello everyone, and thank you for coming to our little pow-wow, now I know some of you maby discouraged by the fact the 2,000 people have died so far.
"What 2,000 people are dead?!"
"It hasn't even been a month yet!"
"Oh my god! We really are fucked!"
Diebal: "and I know even more of you are down because we haven't even cleared the 1st flour yet.
"We haven't?!"
"*whines* I thought we were almost done!"
Diebal: "ugh, you guys know there are a 100 flours right?"
"WHAT?!"
Diebal: " oh Jesus I'm just making things worse, point is we found the boss room."
*Phew*
Diebal: "now we formulated a few strategies with the help of the beta testers-"
???: "BETA TESTERS!"
Diebal: "oh, god damit kibou, what do you want?!"
*Kibou jumps onto the stage* "beta testers, there the reason we're stuck in this game!"
Diebal: "What! Do you even have any evidence to back that up?"
Kibou: "phft, evidence, I need no evidence, isn't that right Jesus!"
Jesus: "it's pronounced je-suse, and I don't know you."
" well they still should've helped us newbies"
Kirina and sinon get angry at this idiot, no more like bafoon, and TRF calms them down while kirito flips the bird at kibou.
TRF: "*whispers*don't get mad or we will stand out and then they'll kill us!"
???: " if I might interject"
kibou: "and who the hell are you!"
??? Steps onto the stage
???: "I'm known by many names, mountain slayer, thunder lion, the chocotale axe, but you... you may call me... "Tiffany"
Kibou: "*bearly can say words* Tiffany huh?... that's a masculine name."
Tiffany: "shouldn't be it's a woman's name."
Kibou: "Kay, I don't know how to talk to you."
Tiffany: " good then you can shut up and listen, does everyone have this book in their inventory."
"Yes"
"Yep"
"No, wait! Scratch that."
Tiffany: "this book has everything people know about this game put together by the beta testers, everyone read it yet some people still died the beta testers did everything they could."
"Actually I haven't read it"
"Yea me nether"
"I skimmed it".
Tiffany: " What! Didn't any of you read it? It's literally the matter of life and death!"
"Man it's like 80 pages"
Tiffany: "2,000 people are dead!"
"THEY ARE?!!!"
TRF,Tiff: "I'm so done with you/these people."
"What you mean you people?!"
Diebal: "ok just like thunder shock said, this book has everything we need to know on how to beat the first boss, ilfang, *ahem* so as you enter the boss room he'll send wave after wave at you and you must answer.. in.. kind.....?"
"Um what?"
Diebal: "send the weaker players first, good rule of thumb, if a player asks you for gold 2secs after meaning you, front lines."
Kibou: "ha, serves them right."
Diebal: "if they hyjack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines."
Kibou: "oh, shit!"
Diebal: " if they ask fem players for picks of their boobs, front lines."
"Oh, that's bullshit!"
"That's discrimination!"
"Boooo!"
TRF,Kirito : "you retards are really perverted!"
Diebal: ' hold on there people, I think there are valid points being made here, now it says when it's health goes into the red he's going to switch his weapon to a tallword, at this point we should do a Strachey calling the final solution- and I'm just gona stop reading! Jesus who wrote this thing?!"
TRF,Kirito,Kirina and Sinon chuckle on the stands while looking down on everybody scheming something.
Diebal: "ok, so the guides a bust so I'm looking for suggestions, anyone?
"Well... we.. we can like.. group up and.."
"And hit it till it dies!"
"Wahoo! nice high five*boath high five each other."
TRF: "well at least we have something".
Diebal: " That's... a good start, but let's hear some other suggestions."
German player: "I would like to hear more about this final solution?"
Diebal: "Fuck it! group up!"
While everybody except the 4 do that they 4 see a girl and scoot across over to her while TRF appeared behind them and sinon walked and sit in front of them.
Kirito: "so... why aren't you joining anyone's group".
???: "I have my reasons".
Kirito : "is it because your a girl?"
Sinon and kirina clutched their fists.
???: "no it's because.. I don't know how to play."
Kirito: "because your a girl?"
Sinon and kirina were about to punch I'm until she said: "no! It's because.. I don't know how to open the menu."
Sinon and kirina face palm at this, and TRF PRIME Screamed: "SAY WHAT!!!"
Kirito: " What! But you can do nothing in this game without the menu, how have you survived all month?!"
Flashback for ??? Trying to eat bread but doesn't realise she can't without the menu... bummer.
???: "...........HOW DO I EAT YOU?!!!!"
Flashback ends.
???: "it's... been a challenge, what about you, why don't you 4 join the others?"
TRF: " oh lots of reasons, mostly because their a bunch of mouth-breathing neck-beards who think lmao's are French people laugh."
French player: "hahaha thats so low now."
All 4: "uuuuuuuuurrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh."
???: "wow.... you guy's sertantly... speak from the heart."
TRF: "really? Funny I thought we were speaking from our mouths but eh, shure What we know about biology."
???: "no one really wanted you 4 in their group did they."
All 4: "shut up it was muchual!"
Diebal: "all right people, looks like everyone's grouped up, get plenty of rest tonight people, we leave at noon."
"Ugh, noon that's so early."
Diebal: " Ugh, alright what about 1o'clock."
"1, dude come on."
Diebal:(aggravated): Ugh, god fine, we leave at crack of '2.30' I guess, lazy buts."
"Christ, I'm gonna have to set my alarm."
TRF: "damm you bitches are even more lazyer than me! And even worse your fucking retarded!!!"
___________________________________
The f1 boss labyrinth At the crack of 2.30.
Everyone that was at the meeting were at the door to the boss room, But were EXHAUSTED BECAUSE OF THE LONG PATH OF (my old common enemy) STAIRS!!!
Diebal: *stabs sword into the ground* "ok, so there were a few more stairs than we realised, apparently real life athletic ability translates into the game. Good to know." He added
"Oh god, I can feel my lungs trying to kill me."
"Is this sweat?"
"I peed a little."
Everybody groans
Dieval: "god this is sad." "Fuck it, why don't You all take a Cheetos and Mountain Dew brake and we'll reconvene in an hour."
TRF: "hey kirito, I bet that it will actually take an hour, what about you?"
Kirito: "dude it will,* Trades col with TRF * and never fucking bet on something that's gonna happen again got it!"
TRF: "whatever, wake me up in 50 min"
Kirito: "sure."
Sinon: *walks over with kirina then kirina lyes on TRF's legs* "hey TRF mind if we lye down here we are exhausted from that."
TRF: "are you really?"
Sinon: * looks down doing the cutest puppy face in defeat* "no..."
TRF:(damm she's adorable and cute along with kirina, you know, screw it) "fine...."
Sinon: "really?!"*looks up*
TRF: "sure, but can I cuddle you, because THAT. was.adorable."
Kirito: "ha TRF your always straight forward but I got to admit as well, that was the most adorable face I've ever seen, my sister here does the same face as yours too."
Sinon: *blushes* "R-r-really! W-we'll o-ok, but no touching!"
TRF: "um.... what?"
Sinon: *blushing* "n-never-mind!" *sits next to him then TRF hugs her when she falls asleep."
TRF: "huh, haha, welp looks like it's time to hit the hey."*falls asleep*
Kirito: "haha* sigh* whenever a lazy bone, always a lazy bone aren't ya dude."
Time skip, brought to you by chibi TRF, Sinon, Kirito, Kirina, Asuna and Tiffany battling the flour boss to the death! Also by this:
Diebal: "damit guys, I was just kidding! you weren't actually supposed to take an hour!" Dieval says as the boss known as ilfang the koblord, jumps int view. Spawning minions with it,but one disconnects.
Diabel: "alright men, form up and-"
"Every man for himself!!!" And everyone else rushed in
Diebal: "What no! god damit guy's!"
TRF: *thinking* only one second and everything's hell, these people are more retarded than I thought. Except for us 4, the cloaked person now known as asuna, and the black guy Tiffany.
Diebal: (commanding): "Squad B, quit attacking the boss and keep the sentinels off us." "C and D, stop attacking from the front. Do you even know what "flank" means?" "Squad F, for fuck's sake, stop playing Bejeweled!" *groans* "Squad G, get in there and help A and B."
Kirito: "Got it!"
Diebal: "Don't talk back to- Oh shit really?"
Kirito: "Ok Asuna? What you're gonna want to do here is-"
Asuna: "haya!"*kills minion"
Kirito: *Thinking* Wow, I thought she was hopeless, but her technique is flawless. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was better than I am.
Asuna: "hey Kirito? I killed the thing and now it says I have XP's! Is that bad? Am I dying?!"
Kirito *Thinking* Or... maybe... not.
(shows Illfang is at low health/ health is in the red
Diabel: "All right men, this part's going to take careful coordination. Which is why I'm just going to do it myself."
Kirito: Oh Shit. " Diabel, look out! That's not a talwar, it's a nodachi!"
Diabel: "What's the difference?"
Kirito: "Well, a talwar is of Indian descent while a nodachi is Japanese. While both are primarily slashing weapons, the talwar was favored by cavalrymen, as opposed to the nodachi which was mainly used for dick measuring."
Diabel: "What's your point?"
Kirito: "Well if you'd let me finish, I was getting to that. You see-"
Diabel: *gets slash* " Aaaaahh!"
Kirito: "Oops."
TRF,kirina,Sinon: "god damit! Kirito!"
Kiabou: "Diabel!"
Ilfang comes out and roars and a sign poped up with a rare item
Player: "Hey, rare drop!"
TRF:*facepalms along with sinon and kirina then runs to diebal with kirito*
Kirito: "I was trying to say a nodachi's a little bit longer than a talwar, so it'll have more reach and do a bit more damage."
Diabel: "And why couldn't you say that first?"
Kirito: "I like to think of myself as a teacher." *kirito grabs out a health potion but Diabel refuses*
Diabel: "no, it's better this way."
TRF: "Wait, why are you refusing?"
Diabel: " I just can't do it anymore. I had such high hopes at first, but now our best player is a girl who thinks DPS is some kind of sex thing."
TRF: " I know, it's weird right?"
Diabel: "you're clearly not like the rest of them, how do you stand it, kirito and TRF? Where do your draw your strength?"
Kirito,TRF: "we've been playing MMOs a long time, Diabel, and if there's one thing we've learned, it's that Lions don not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Just take that little voice in your head that tells you to be tactical and understanding, and shoot it. Shoot it in the god damn face."
Diabel: "You are so wise. If only I'd met you sooner... perhaps, things would have been different. You two must lead them now Show them that this game can be beaten."
Kirito: "In another life, in another time... I think we 3 could have been friends."
TRF:"maybe" probably not.
Diabel: " I doubt that" *dies*
Kirito,TRF: ".....Well,Fuck you too!" Everyone else is in shock that their boss died.asuna walked over to kirito.
Asuna: "alright kirito, here's what we'll do. One counters his blows to knock him off balance, the other switches in to attack. Rinse. Repeat. Victory."
Kirina: "you came up with that, but you can't open a menu."*chuckles*
Ilfang comes at us.
Kirito: " alright, so you counter, I'll attack."
Asuna(aggravated): " What? No! It's my plan, I should attack."
Kirito:* groans* "fine, just get ready."
Kirito said as ilfang charged up his sword, readying to attack. But kirito blocked it, causing ilfang to stumble back in surprise and kirito to fall on his ass. "Switch!" Kirito shouted causing asuna to charge up her sword, but ilfang tore her hood off revealing her to be a orange haired girl, but asuna stabbed ilfang, causing him to fly backwards.
Kirito: " see, you almost god yourself killed. I'll attack him."
Asuna: "oh that was a fluke and you know it."
The 5 now charge towards it.
Asuna: " he's mine!" * Asuna stabbed it*
kirina: "he's mine!"* Kirina slashed it*
Sinon: "mine!"* sinon shot it*
TRF: "no" *TRF strikes it*
Kirito: "he's"*kirito strikes it*
TRF, Kirito: "MINE!!!" *TRF and kirito slash it together killing ilfang and making him burst into crystals and making a small banner which said "congratulations" to appear with confetti*
"Yeah!"
TRF: "nice"
Tiffany: "congratulations, that was even more impressive than that cat that learned how to play."
TRF: "wait, what?"
Cat player: "meow"
???: " oh my god! You can see it too? So I'm not crazy! Isn't that great Jesus!"
Giant Jesus: "that's right, Jeffery. Now...kill them all."
Jeffery: "* whispers* as you command, my lord."
Tiffany: " you've lead us to victory, Kirito and TRF. These men and I will follow you two to hell itself. Now address your people."
Kirito: "we always knew this day would come." Kirito said has he walked to the crowd.
TRF: "sinon,kirina are you coming with, if so, go to the exit there"*points to exit*
sinon: "Yeah I'm coming" *runs to the door*
Kirina: "I'll stay here for now with asuna, I see potential in her."
TRF: "ok, stay safe for us, please"
Kirina: "don't worry I will, but before I go, here,*blushes and kisses TRF cheek* well see you later"*waves and goes to find a seat for what is about to happen."
TRF: *blushing* "holy shit I got kissed by a girl. Welp now time to help Kirito addressing the people*evil chuckle*" *walks over to Kirito*
kirito: "ahem, fellow gamers, we have traveled far and up many stairs to get to this point. Fighting side by side, noobs and leets alike. I'd like to take a moment to say that we couldn't have done it without the help of each and everyone of you."
Tiffany: "aw, that's a nice thing to say."
TRF: "course we're not liars, so we're not going to say any of that."
Tiffany: " oh, shit."
TRF: "I mean, really, we could have done this whole boss fight ourself, but to be fair, we guess you did absorb a bit of damage for us which was nice. You were an adequate meat shield, and no one can ever take that away from you."
Tiffany: "fuck, fuck, shut up, SHUT UP!"
Kirito: "so, to those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing bejewelled back there, shoot for the stars, it'll make it a lot more fun when we kick you back into the dirt."
Kibou: "you're not better than us!"
Kirito:* equips his black trench coat* " my sweet ass coat begs to differ, and TRF's new op skill as well."
Kibou: "dammit he got us there"
Kirito and TRF walk towards the exit until asuna stops them
Asuna: "Kirito, wait!" "I want half."
Kirito: "I'm sorry, what?"
Asuna: "I want half the coat, I did half the work, I should get half the coat"
Kirito: "no! It's not fabric that I can cut, it's just a bunch of 1s and 0s."
Asuna: "fine, then give me the 1s"
Kirito: 'fuck you, I want the 1s, ugh I'm not having this argument, I dissolving this party."*dissolves party*
Asuna: "Kirito, if you walk away with my half the coat I'll make your life a living a living hell!"
Kirito: "you know what? Fine, I'll give you the damn coat. Just send me a trade request."
TRF,Sinon: *evil chuckle*
Asuna: "a..... what?"
kirito: "oh it's.... quite simple, really. Just open your menu." He said Evily as he, TRF and sinon start to leave.
Asuna: "you son of a bitch!"
The three laughed evily harder when they went through the exit.
___________________________
Some time on the stairs to the 2nd flour.
TRF: "when we reach the second flour, I'll need to find the admin terminal there to get some items back."
Kirito: "so that's where you got the best bow in the game!"
Sinon: "isn't that cheating?"
TRF: "not really, the admin terminals don't allow you to get some weapons until you complete a certain flour."
Sinon: "oh, ok."
TRF: "but for some reason, this skill, it- it's not even supposed to be in the game, I guess I'll check it out when I reach the terminal."
Kirito: " good idea, we don't want these fuckers knowing about this."
TRF: " right with you there buddy, so I guess this is finally the beginning"
Sinon: "the beginning of what?"
TRF: " The beginning of our journey to the top!"
Sinon: "huh, alright then, let's go!"
Kirito: " hell yea!"
________________________
A/n: damn that was long. I mean, over 3000 words really takes a lot of you time anyways next chapter will take some time again, so that's all for now and I'll talk to ya all later.