It was a bright and pleasant afternoon, with the sun shining warmly over the city. Zhang Xingxing aimlessly pedaled his bicycle down the street, with no particular destination in mind.
What choice did he have? Almost thirty years old and still single, he had been forcibly kicked out of the house by his mother, who told him to "go find a wife instead of playing games all day." But how was he supposed to find a girlfriend when he hadn't even finished high school, let alone attended college? His life experience was practically nonexistent.
If fate was truly arranged by the heavens, then it seemed like the heavens had completely forgotten about him. Everything about him screamed "ordinary"—average looks, average physique, and academically, well… far from average, but in the wrong direction. He was just a step away from being labeled a total loser.
Where the hell was his destined lover, anyway? Zhang Xingxing mused as he drifted into his own thoughts, lost in daydreams.
"3:41, still early." He casually pulled out his phone to check the time. "I'll just ride around for another twenty minut—"
Before he could finish his sentence, a loud crash filled the air. His entire body, along with his bicycle, was sent flying.
Dead on impact.
They say that in the moments before death, people recall the best memories of their lives. But as Zhang Xingxing soared through the air, all he managed to see was a minivan occupying the exact spot where he had been just a second ago, its front bumper slightly dented from the impact.
One thought crossed his mind before everything went dark:
Damn… that van's got some power.
——
"Carter, do you think it's a boy or a girl? I can't wait to see our little one..."
"Oh, boy or girl, it doesn't matter to me. Dr. Jenny said it would be soon. Be patient, my love."
Zhang Xingxing's consciousness drifted awake. He could hear a man and a woman talking in a language he didn't understand. Their voices sounded both far away and strangely close, echoing in his mind.
Where was he? A hospital? Were these doctors? Foreign doctors? How bad was the accident?
His vision was pitch black. His body felt curled up tightly, unable to move, and he couldn't make a single sound.
After a long moment of trying to process his situation, his mind finally calmed down—enough to reach a bold conclusion.
Rebirth? A second chance at life? A brand-new beginning?!
Hahaha! Heaven must have finally noticed him! The throne of destiny had come knocking at his door! This time, he would make sure to live his life to the fullest!
Excitement filled him as he imagined his bright future. Surely, he was born a genius in this life! Mathematics? Poetry? Philosophy? Child's play! He could already see himself breezing through school, effortlessly leaving everyone in awe of his brilliance.
Wait… Why did he automatically assume he was reborn on Earth? What if this was another world entirely?
Of course! His past life had dulled his imagination with the weight of daily life. What if this was a fantasy world? Magic? Martial arts? Qi cultivation? What if he had an overpowered, god-tier ability waiting to be awakened?
"Dear, have you decided on a name for the baby?"
"Of course. If it's a boy, he'll be named Carnie Stran. If it's a girl, she'll be Annie Stran. What do you think?"
The voices snapped Zhang Xingxing—now Carnie Stran—back to reality.
Wait, what? He couldn't understand a word they were saying!
With years of online experience deciphering foreign media, he quickly recognized that they were speaking English.
Oh, this could mean knights, wizards, and all that cool stuff! He immediately decided—if he was going to be anything in this life, it would be a great magician!
That was… until reality hit him.
"Carnie Stran, you are, without a doubt, the worst student I've ever taught. No exceptions. Do you know why?"
Carnie hesitated. "Because the ones worse than me have already transferred out?"
"Correct." Mr. Gray, his teacher, narrowed his eyes. "This is London Primary School, one of the best in the city. You started as a top student when you first enrolled, but now? Your grades are abysmal. The final exams are coming up, and a good middle school will determine your future. I suggest you start taking your studies seriously. Also, you're late again."
He waved a hand dismissively. "Now, go back to your seat."
Carnie shuffled to his desk—the very last one in the classroom. A single, isolated desk.
Why? Because he had earned it.
As soon as he sat down, he promptly fell asleep.
Carnie wasn't sure why, but every now and then, he would experience these sudden, overwhelming waves of exhaustion. They had never happened when he was younger, but now? Once or twice a week, he'd get hit by an unshakable drowsiness.
Maybe it was a side effect of reincarnation?
His teacher had long since given up trying to stop him from sleeping in class. His parents had even given the excuse that he had some rare disorder where he would "die if he didn't sleep."
Of course, Mr. Gray wasn't about to test whether that was true.
The other students in the class had also grown used to his strange behaviour. They treated him like he was invisible, not wanting to associate with the "weird kid."
Carnie had no friends in school. But honestly, who wanted to hang out with a bunch of little kids anyway? That was just asking to lose brain cells.
From the moment he started school, he had kept to himself, completely absorbed in his own world.
People like that always ended up being targets. He was no exception. It didn't take long for him to become the subject of gossip, whispers, and mocking stares.
That kind of problem had an easy solution. A few beatings solved it quickly enough.
The social hierarchy of the school had already been established through the "teachings of the streets." Every student who had tried to mess with him had experienced a proper introduction to reality.
Some had even tried to bring in older kids from middle school to "teach him a lesson." But it didn't matter—he sent them all home clutching their family jewels.
His reputation spread after that. Nobody dared to meet his gaze anymore, afraid their precious parts would suffer the same fate.
Ironically, his infamy also led to more girls slipping love letters into his desk.
Foreign girls were so bold. No—girls, they were still just kids. Carnie had no interest in children. They were cute, but that was it. Completely useless.
Unlike love and friendship, he knew what was truly important—strength. The body was the foundation of everything.
In his past life, he had taken a few martial arts classes—karate, taekwondo—hoping to one day use them in a "hero saves beauty" scenario.
Unfortunately, his old neighbourhood was so safe that nothing ever happened. Eventually, he gave up training, let himself go, and became a full-fledged couch potato.
This time, he wasn't going to let that happen.
He already had a plan. He would become the strongest soldier, the best special forces operative, the undisputed king of urban combat.
After all, what was the point of reincarnating if not to dominate?
His first step was to enroll in a military academy, where he could train in real combat. As for why he wasn't planning to go to China to learn kung fu… well, reality wasn't a martial arts novel.
It wasn't like some crazy old man would suddenly appear, slap his back, and say, "Boy, you have excellent bone structure! You were born to be a martial arts prodigy!"
And the Shaolin Temple? No way. He wasn't about to shave his head and eat vegetarian meals for the rest of his life.
Maybe when his father had a business trip to China, he could ask him to look for martial arts manuals. Something like Dragon Claw Strike, Six Veins Divine Sword, or even just old grandpas practicing Tai Chi in the park.
If not, he could always follow old men in the park and do some Tai Chi.