The Universe's Most Unremarkable Man
It was a bright Monday morning, which meant two things:
1. Ahn Jihun was late.
2. Ahn Jihun had accepted his fate.
Jihun stood in front of his bathroom mirror, toothbrush dangling from his mouth, gazing at his reflection like a man contemplating the mysteries of life. He wasn't ugly. He wasn't handsome. He was... aggressively average. Medium-length black hair, perpetually messy no matter how much he combed it. A slightly crooked nose, courtesy of a childhood fall he barely remembered. Dark circles under his eyes, because apparently, adulthood came with a built-in exhaustion setting.
He sighed. "This is it. My existence."
"Jihun-ah!" A voice shrieked from the hallway. "Are you seriously still in the bathroom?!"
Enter Kang Haejin, his best friend, roommate, and self-proclaimed superior in every way. Haejin had the face of a K-drama second male lead—handsome but doomed. Sharp features, naturally wavy hair, a jawline that could cut glass. He was the type of guy who looked effortlessly cool, even in pajamas with cartoon ducklings on them.
Jihun spit out his toothpaste. "I overslept."
"Again?" Haejin folded his arms. "Bro, do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Uh..." Jihun checked his phone. "9:45?"
Haejin's face twisted into something between disbelief and admiration. "You're unbelievable. Work starts at nine. You're not even in the ballpark of 'late.' You're on another planet."
Jihun shrugged. "They haven't fired me yet."
"They probably think you have some tragic backstory. Like you're raising a dozen orphaned kittens or something."
Jihun considered this. Maybe he should start bringing a cat to work. Just one. A believable number.
"Anyway," Haejin said, pulling on a hoodie, "I'll drive you. If we hit all green lights and break some minor traffic laws, you might only be 'horrifically late' instead of 'fired on sight' late."
Jihun grinned. "That's the kind of optimism I need in my life."
Fifteen minutes later, Haejin's beat-up old car—nicknamed The Blue Menace due to its habit of making unsettling rattling noises—screeched to a stop in front of Jihun's office building.
Jihun stepped out, adjusting his tie. "I feel like a king."
"A king of what?" Haejin leaned out the window. "Poor decision-making?"
"That's a type of kingdom."
Before Haejin could respond, Jihun bolted towards the entrance, making a dramatic leap over the threshold just as the automatic doors slid shut behind him.
Now, all that remained was surviving another day as the Universe's Most Unremarkable Man.