1
The room
The room is warmer
as I lie below the sheet.
The day was short,
but I only notice it
when the evening comes.
I haven't studied anything.
My exam is in a week, amino acids.
Med school is the toughest challenge
I have ever faced.
But instead of studying,
I cover my ears with music.
I bury myself underneath the landscapes of Call of Duty.
Tomorrow, the lecturer will be speaking Arabic,
but I only understand English.
Three textbooks on my desk,
as thick as bricks.
Will I ever finish them?
I drown in the virtual worlds of Call of Duty,
seeking refuge in melodies.
I only mean to escape.
I am asked to lift a car with nothing but the raw strength of my hands.
But nothing is weaker than the strength of my heart.
2
It takes a wink to weep
I resist closing my eyes
but I let a small lake
form in my canaliculi.
And I let the salty water leak
in fine drop on my dry cheek,
But I don't blink.
Because I still can't admit
that It takes tears to heal.
3
The difference
I saw how the apartment on the fourth had rotten windows,
and the ones on the fifth are shining.
I felt how a good morning with a smile differs from a frown, or an indifferent eye.
The difference.
That's why I left the fourth for the fifth.
They taught me how to care.
I left the crowd and joined the quiet,
the books of wisdom on the aisle.
The stairs of the building left me breathless.
I climb them and I gasp for oxygen.
Here, the air smells of mint,
of the breeze at the start of the rain,
and my lungs expand
like a flower slowly blooming over the weekend.
I chose the fifth floor, the soothing peace,
the silence.
4
Continuously
Sunlight through the room,
My lower lip is a dry desert.
One tablet for the fever.
I try to stand, but
My limbs are feeble,
weakened in an everlasting
slumber .
For the man I want to be
I can't give up.
So if there's still a glimmer of hope
I'll hold on to it
With my arms and my canines.
If I lose my grip
and my muscles can no longer contract,
and if my spine becomes rigid,
I will still work.
Because, Mum,
I want to be a son you can be proud of.
I want my actions to be the voice
that carries the depth of my love,
the sincerity of my gratitude.
So if there is a glimmer of hope,
I'll hold on to it
for the dreams I care about.
Since the bright days of my childhood,
the midnight moons of my early twenties,
I will stay the distance.
I will push on,
for as long as I can.