It's crazy how so many people take the word love for granted, even crazier how quickly we throw away things that we used to love, used to do, used to dream of, or give a nip elated into wanting something that we think we can never get enough of; appear almost foreign for those who could never understand the tender pain of a broken heart. You would probably think that given the situation you would be in a fantasy world filled with wonder but instead, you're on a planet different from Earth but still having that fantasy aspect—-with a twist. You are forced to sit at a gorgeous table with royalty gathering, watching them eating and drinking foods that look edible along delicious just by the smell alone but even if you were able to, something in your gut would constantly tell you that they would probably poison you if they had the chance. Ha! They would probably laugh, you can even hear some giggles from some people behind your back that can't be seen from the angle that you're sitting. Within all of this tension, you could hear the soft chuckle of a feminine, tone loving the side of your capture by an Anti-monster kingdom. Despite the situation that you're in, the surroundings are phenomenal; you can see a dragon flying overhead through the glass ceiling above you, along with the rest of the castle structure, the kingdom, and if you look hard enough the monsters being hung on trees from the open windows. Even if you want to eat this food, your mouth is covered and your arms are bound to the chair that you sit in. You see the guests who came to this event hoping for the hero but all they see is a monster who crawled out of the woods.
Here's the kicker, all they see is what they perceive to be a "hero". Ha! To them, you are less than nothing and more of a burden that should be hung on one of those trees in the distance. The king finally calmed his eating as your blue eyes continued lingering on him, it made him uncomfortable while something in his eyes flickered before the king gave a wipe of his mouth with a handkerchief, "I deeply didn't think that it would come today, I heard rumors about you and your jobs that didn't belong to you. This kingdom does not believe in your kind and you just being here is an honor, A privilege to still have your tongue, your fingers, your toes, and everything that you hold dear," You listen to the king's monologue about how you should be grateful but constantly wonder to yourself:
Do you deserve this type of life?
Do you deserve this type of atmosphere in the form of success, well everyone wants your downfall.
Do you even deserve to be loved while the entire nation hates you?
Who am I asking you these questions, this is my life that got turned inside out while ripped from the inside out. A life that led to me going from a naïve young human man to an anxious brown-skinned elf. As soon as the king finished talking about whatever he was saying, " to make it as simple as possible and the reason why we captured you, we have one question to ask,"
The king walked over to me and looked me dead in the eyes, thinking just because he towered over me while I sat in the chair meant that I feared him but he signaled for the guards to point their spears in my direction close to my neck before the king spoke once more, "Tell us now, where is The Hero?"
..Something like this would terrify a normal man but I lost my humanity a long time ago and besides I did some things that would leave the king powerless…
Through all of these schemes that these idiots deliberately put onto my shoulders or simply thinking that I have done something to their precious hero makes me wonder why they hadn't asked a similar question around do you know the truth or at least connected the dots to something more crucial. If this kingdom, no if this country is anti-monsters, how would a wood drow elf become an adventurer just like The Hero?
I thought of this while looking over at the queen, she is usually cold and ruthless, couldn't meet my eyes with a blush on her face as sweat ran down her neck and through her cleavage. Biting that bottom lip well her hands were holding between her legs trying not to become aroused as she made slate glances in my direction, trying not to be improper, trying not to become the target of scrutiny as she had indeed broke her vows to the king, her family & her people by sleeping with a monster—me…
I can't really blame her as she isn't the only one at fault but that will be revealed with time, for now let me take you back to how this all started.
….On the day I died….
It was A lifetime ago when "It" happened, I was just entering the stages that were close to adulthood but still not close enough to be smart enough or capable to see what was to come. My biggest failure took place in the largest church in New York City, filled with anticipation for those golden words that would sadly never come. We all thought, no…. I was the only one who believed that the stunning petite woman standing across from me wearing an elegant white dress that cost millions & makeup to the Niles was gonna say "I do" when the time came. I hope deep down that since she came this far, but when it came down to the part what she said was "I'm in love with someone else, I have always been in love with someone more worthy of me, so I don't wish to continue this farce any longer with this pathetic excuse of a simp."
That's what she said, I was in shock as if something inside and shattered, too bad the bride wasn't done stamping my heart into pieces, making things worse than I could ever perceive, "You all came here for the farce of a wedding that I can no longer be a part of. I had to deal with this poor excuse of a man for 3 years so I believe the one that should be apologizing to you all & can you all back— is him."
What's a stone face, she pointed at me as if I was the prime suspect in this drama; while the whole room was a gasp, many were shocked by her accusations while looking at me with pity. She stood there like some self-righteous princess who deserved so much more than the guy who was wearing a cream-colored white suit with a gold tie and not to mention big heavy glasses. The hard part was being that guy wearing that suit and glasses while knowing that the bride not only did this in front of my remaining friends, my family, and my coworkers; God, Jesus! She even did it in front of the family dog, Queen. Even as a dog, she was excited for this moment but even there, Queen had to cover herself with her paws because of how embarrassing things turned out for me. Suddenly, the mother screamed in anger, shouting every curse word in the book towards my bride, while I could only hear a loud buzzing noise; censoring out everything around me hoping that this was all just a dream. Emily wouldn't do this, right? Her name is Emily Bogard, we met when we were both at a suit-and-tie-like event that was surrounding my job where I would be doing community work as much as packaging / storing fruits and vegetables until they're picked up. On that day I looked better than I usually do, wearing a suit that hadn't seen the light of day since this was the suit my dad wore on his graduation; regardless I wanted to look good even if I couldn't stand out. Nothing real what's going on besides some hellos and goodbyes from people of higher stature who either think I'm weird or simply fear being an artistic loser just trying to live in a political, judgmental, dramatic, societal world where you can be judged by the littlest thing. "Hey, have you been here long?" I felt a hand on my shoulder that came along with those words that felt almost like an angelic woman, she honestly looked like something out of a fairytale. A woman who had the looks and the structure of a goddess, this didn't feel real with so many questions rolling through my mind. "N-n-no, not l-l-long." I couldn't help stumbling on my words feeling as if I was in a different world. We talked amongst ourselves, getting to know one another so many words that meant everything and nothing. We shared drinks, we shared glances, we even danced. The place was going to close soon so we exchanged numbers. Many people who worked with me saw my actions and were amazed. Even my bosses were astonished that I was able to get into a relationship with one of the daughters of the community garden's strongest benefactor. They all wondered how I pulled that off. Indeed, how did I pull that off? I always thought that maybe being myself and not trying to be something that I'm not was a good thing, however little did I know that a lot of things were going to change the moment I believed in Emily Bogard, the woman that I had naïvely fell madly in love with at first sight.
I know that it sounds cheesy but I fell at first sight, not caring if she had money or not but the emotion of living a hopeless romantic dream that would soon turn into a toxic nightmare. When we became official, not only did I spend most of my free time with her but I also did the majority to try to keep the relationship afloat. From working harder and trying to be a supportive partner within her father's company to being criticized within the relationship leading to me believing that it was helpful criticism; thinking that I needed to work even harder than I already was to become a man worthy of Emily.
So began my journey to become a better man physically, which meant exercising to the point where I was exhausted; going cold turkey on junk food, including going online to look up beautiful women, even though I gave up on that the day I met Emily. Determined to succeed, I never forced Emily to do anything that she never wanted to do nor did I try to make it where I was an abusive or mentally demanding person; hell we even promised each other that we would wait until marriage to have sex, even when my libido was reaching its peak leading to overnights at the gym from 10 PM to 2 AM. From doing normal workouts and more for three whole years, allowing my body fat of 240 pounds to build into 201 pounds of pure muscle. With all the time and effort I put into the gym, training regimens, and building myself up to the brink of crossing the line; I felt as if it was chiseled with marble. Truly, I was in the best shape of my life, feeling good about myself since I had a good job, good colleagues, making good money, and a beautiful girlfriend… But now that I look back on it, nothing that I did was ever good adequately for Emily.
Every time we had a date lined up, something would come up out of nowhere on Emily's end or I would have to work more hours unexpectedly. Not to mention whenever we had disagreements, guess who was always the bad guy? Yeah, me, I would always be called the selfish, ungrateful, childish & possessive boyfriend…
No love.
No glory.
No kindness.
No commitment.
Just nothing…..
What snapped me out of my Flashback through memory lane, Emily began running in her heels for the doors. Many tried to stop her but she was relentless in leaving; I even reached out, wanting to know why she was doing this out of all days, any moment or any day including where she could've rejected me, why our wedding day. My feet felt heavy like they were glued to the floor. Then just like that, she had already run out of the chapel. The sound of the door closing echoed throughout the halls, words cannot be said about how I felt at that moment. Maybe it was stifling, my body was shaking with an emotion that I never felt before….
Leaving me embarrassed, wondering to myself once more: "What did I do? What did I do to deserve this? Why me? What was the point of all this? What did I do to be treated this way?"
While those words repeated in my mind, my parents explained to the guest in attendance who came to this train wreck of an event that the wedding was off. My parents and I apologized to guests who wasted their time, including Emily's family, but I I was forced to usually call them "my boss and his wife". They had their heads down, didn't dare to meet me or my family's eyes; they couldn't say anything because there was nothing really to say and they saw their perfect little daughter's true personality firsthand which made them ashamed. My boss's wife was more petrified of how my family and everyone else looked at them with sheer hatred, while my boss could only grit his teeth with his head down. "We will pay for the wedding and make sure that our daughter he's back for everything that has transpired today. We sincerely apologize for our child's actions. Please have mercy on us." Hearing those words from my boss instead of his usual cold words felt almost foreign to me. When parents spoil their child and the child becomes what Emily had, the shadows of who the child once was begins to crack until there's nothing left but dust in the wind. Emily, not not only showed everyone her true colors but was clear that they failed as parents, I honestly wouldn't disagree with them on that front. However, those people before me were not at fault for Emily's actions, but they were at fault for raising her the way they did. After taking a few deep breaths, finally meeting their eyes, I spoke, "The damage is done; nothing can change it, by the way I will have my resignation put on your desk, that's what you were paying you anyway right?" Hearing these words, my parents were even more frustrated, finding out that they were going to fire me after the wedding. Emily's family couldn't help but turn a deeper shade of grey. I simply just guessed because after everything that's transpiring it was easy to tell that if Emily was this cold blooded what's stopping her family from doing something just as ruthless. I wasn't done speaking with him so I continued, "Neither of you understand how hard I try to earn your respect. Every time I broke my back for your company, all I wanted was for both of you to acknowledge me as your daughter's fiancé and especially your daughter's love. I even worked harder than anyone and you gave me the opportunity but once he came into the picture you saw that twinkle in your daughter's eye. Leading to you abusing your power and putting your daughter's happiness against my own. Using my ideas to get ahead, putting him on top; in conclusion you are all slowly but surely pulling me away so that your daughter is happy, your bank accounts are full, and your future son-in-law looks like 1 million bucks while I'm pushed out to drown? But don't worry I quit, thank you for letting me work at your company, even though you all can go fuck yourselves."
Those words came out like a ton of bricks at Emily's mother and father were stunned that I would even utter those words, they didn't even believe that I would see them. To think that the 5 foot 3 teen was now towering over them at 6 foot 1, showing they no longer could have power over me anymore. I went out for some air letting my parents deal with berating the two.
The moment I opened the door, everything felt brighter than usual, my head felt light as well. All it took was one step to hear the sound of someone screaming, quickly turning my head to see everything was quiet and the church was empty, there was nobody there so I went towards the light letting the doors slam behind me…
It felt like I was crossing over, in the distance before my consciousness fully disappeared there was a woman. I had no idea if she was a spirit or a goddess but her beauty could not be hidden within the mist nor her disdain. All I was at the moment was a soul and she looked at it as if it was something filthy or disgusting, "This soul does not deserve salvation."
Those words hit my very core, before I could make a complaint I was shot with a kick from the goddess leading to my soul fading & disappearing into the darkness. Believing that I died as a man and as a soul, I let fate take me but when I opened my eyes once more I saw a woman who looked tired while I was wrapped in a material of some kind. The sound around me was too loud as I began to cry, feeling the pointedness of my ears and the damp air brushing against my body. The only light that lit the room with a cave realizing what I was but having a hard time knowing where I was.
Realizing that I was reincarnated as an elf baby, this is where my story truly begins.