The next morning, Aarav woke up at exactly 11 AM. It wasn't because he was lazy, but rather because his father left for work at 10 AM, and he always made it a point to wake up an hour later to avoid him completely as meeting him felt like a burden which he knew he wasn't a reality but rather a trick of his mind. There were only two days left before his exam. The first paper was Biology.
He went downstairs to grab something to eat and saw his mother casually making tea.
"You should start waking up early and studying. It helps," she said.
Aarav replied, "Yes, but I study late at night."
"Sure, but waking up early is important too."
"By the way, how was the function you attended yesterday?" he asked, trying to change the subject.
"Ehh, it was okay, but too much trouble. How is your exam preparation going?"
"Good. I'm confident about this one. I will definitely score good marks."
"Good. Remember, whatever happened last year is in the past, but you have to do well this time."
"I know, and don't worry, I will do my best."
In a hurry, Aarav grabbed something and went back to his room. Even he didn't know why he was in such a rush. The conversation with his mother should have reassured him about the support he was getting from his parents, despite having wasted an entire year of his life and his father's hard-earned money. He was now repeating the same standard, yet they still believed in him. However, instead of feeling comforted, his mind twisted the conversation into a painful reminder of his past mistakes and the never ending guilt which ate him from inside was trying to crawls its way back.
Neither didn't want to see it that way nor he wanted the guilt o be back and eat him from inside as if a thousand needles are being poked into his lungs, but his mind seemed to be working against him, as if another entity was controlling it—one that was still stuck in the past and refused to move on, one that wanted to harm him. Aarav tried to not dwell on these thoughts, deciding he didn't have this luxury. He finished his breakfast quickly, trying to just focus on what's important.
Just as he finished, his phone rang. It was a call from his elder sister.
"Hello?" Aarav answered.
"Hello, my little!" she greeted cheerfully. "How are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"I'm fine. How's your exam preparation going?"
"Good, but I'm still nervous."
"Don't worry. Mom and Dad also think you'll do well. Last night, I was talking to them, and they said they see you studying and putting in effort. They believe in you, even if they don't always show it. You know how Indian parents are."
"Well, it's kinda hard to believe all that, but okay."
"Shut up. I know what they're saying, and it's true. Just don't put yourself under extreme stress. No exam will go well like that. Stay calm, okay? Good luck!"
"I know. Thanks. Bye, I gotta study now."
"Alright, bye, little!"
Little was aarav nickname. As the call ended, Aarav felt better the thousand needles somehow felt only like a hundred now. Knowing that his parents believed in him, even if they didn't express it openly, gave him a sense of comfort and belongingness. His relationship with his sister meant the world to him; she was the closest person in his life. It wouldn't be an understatement to say that, in a way, she was the reason he was still alive.
Somehow, the voice inside his mind—the one that tormented him with self-doubt and guilt didn't had the same power it had a few minutes ago. These were the moments he felt he could still do it. he felt a new hope within him. With that, he settled down at his desk and began studying.