Joseph had one goal for today:
Pick some plants. Get paid. Don't die.
It was supposed to be a simple job. No monsters. No fighting. Just picking some stupid leaves and turning them in for easy cash. Simple, right?
Nope. Naturally, everything went wrong.
The trio wandered into the small forest just outside Dravenhold, following the quest instructions.
The job required them to find "Blueleaf" herbs, which were described as:
Blue leaves (obviously).Grows in shaded areas under large trees. Used for healing potions and anti-inflammatory remedies.
Joseph was determined to do this properly.
Lily was happily collecting herbs, placing them into her little pouch with a cheerful hum.
Joseph sighed and knelt near a large tree, spotting a cluster of blue leaves.
"Finally," he muttered, reaching out—
And then the bush attacked him.
Joseph had exactly one second to process the fact that the leaves were moving before something leaped out of the foliage and latched onto his arm.
"GAH! WHAT THE FUCKKK?!"
Kara and Lily turned just in time to see Joseph flailing wildly as a fat, furry creature hung onto his sleeve.
Lily gasped. "A forest puffball!"
Joseph stared at her. "A WHAT?!"
The creature—a round, chubby rodent-like thing with massive eyes and tiny claws—let out a high-pitched squeak before trying to chew through his sleeve.
Kara burst out laughing. "Oh my gods, you're getting mugged by a puffball!"
Joseph shook his arm violently. "GET IT OFF OF ME! IT'S CHEWING THROUGH MY HOODIE!"
Lily giggled and stepped forward, gently prying the puffball off Joseph's arm. The creature stared at her, twitched its little nose, and then happily crawled onto her shoulder.
Lily beamed. "Aww, he likes me!"
Joseph clutched his now slightly shredded sleeve and glared.
"Great. Fantastic. Meanwhile, it tried to assassinate me!"
Kara wiped tears from her eyes. "I've never seen someone lose a fight to a puffball before."
Joseph groaned. This was humiliating. To be bested by a seemingly harmless creature. He was ashamed to call himself an adventurer.
After that disaster, they continued gathering herbs, and for a while, things seemed normal.
Until Lily suddenly froze.
"Boss… Kara… What's that?"
Joseph turned to see a tall, vibrant plant with massive red petals.
It was beautiful.
It was also moving.
Joseph squinted. "…Is that plant breathing?"
Before anyone could react—
It spat something.
Directly at Kara's face.
She barely had time to react before the weird green mist enveloped her.
Joseph panicked. "Oh shit—poison?! Paralysis?! Are you dying?!"
Kara stumbled backward, waving away the mist. "Ugh, gross—what was that?"
Lily gasped. "It's a laughing bloom!"
Joseph blinked. "A what now?"
Lily quickly pulled out her herbal book. "Laughing blooms release a gas that causes uncontrollable laughter! It's harmless, but—"
Kara snorted immediately.
Then she started chuckling.
Then she started laughing.
Then she started cackling uncontrollably.
Joseph took a step back. "Oh no."
Kara fell to her knees, pounding the ground, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
"GAHAHA! I—CAN'T—HAHAHA—OH GODS—"
Joseph grabbed her shoulders and shook her, clearly annoyed. "Kara! Get a grip!"
She wheeze-laughed in response.
Joseph turned to Lily. "Hey! How long does this last?!"
Lily flipped through her book. "Um… fifteen minutes… to an hour?"
Joseph let out an exasperated sigh. "Wonderful."
Meanwhile, Kara had collapsed on the forest floor, tears streaming down her face, barely able to function.
At this point, the quest wasn't about collecting herbs anymore.
It was about surviving the stupidest day of Joseph's life.
After eventually gathering enough herbs, dragging a still-wheeze-laughing Kara back to town, and explaining to the guild receptionist why their fighter was completely useless for an hour, they finally got their payout.
A grand total of:
Twenty-one copper.
Joseph stared at the coins.
Then at Kara, who was still occasionally giggling.
Then back at the coins.
"…Not worth it."