Joseph strutted back into the Adventurer's Guild with the gait of a man who had just looted a dumpster and called it a victory. His tattered cape flapped behind him like he was some kind of legendary warrior—if that warrior had just fought a losing battle against hygiene.
He approached the massive quest board, where adventurers of all kinds gathered to pick their next job. The postings ranged from high-risk monster hunts to noble escort missions.
Naturally, Joseph wasn't looking at those.
He scanned the bottom section—the ones with laughably low rewards and absolutely zero respect attached. The kind of jobs reserved for desperate newcomers, small children looking for pocket money, and possibly even trained rats.
And then, he found it.
Quest: Vermin Extermination
Reward: 5 Copper Coins
Details: A local merchant is dealing with a rat infestation in his storage basement. Clear them out.
Joseph stared at the paper.
"…Well, it's not exactly slaying a dragon, but it's a start, right?"
He grabbed the quest sheet and brought it to the counter, where the receptionist from earlier still looked bored out of her mind. She barely glanced at him before taking the paper.
"First job?" she asked.
Joseph nodded. "Yep. Starting small. Working my way up. You know how it is."
She stamped the paper and handed it back. "Alright, take that to the merchant at Oldstone Market. He'll give you the details."
Joseph took the paper and adjusted his rusted metal pipe across his shoulder. He felt ridiculous. But at the same time, there was a tiny bit of excitement bubbling under his exhaustion.
This was it. His first real quest.
Sure, it involved rats. But technically speaking, he was now an adventurer.
Now all he had to do was...not die horribly.
With his first official quest in hand, Joseph made his way toward Oldstone Market, a part of the city that smelled like fresh produce, stale bread, and the occasional fish that had been left out for way too long.
His client, a grumpy, balding merchant, was waiting near a small, run-down warehouse. He was about as unimpressed with Joseph as one could get, especially when he noticed the pipe and the tattered cape.
"You're the adventurer that's going to take care of these vermin?" the merchant grumbled, squinting at Joseph as if his mere existence offended him.
Joseph adjusted his glasses. "That's right."
The merchant sighed. "Great. Just great. Well, I'm desperate, so I guess you'll have to do..."
Joseph felt his self-esteem take yet another critical hit but decided not to argue. "So, rats. You got 'em, I get rid of 'em, you pay me. Simple."
The merchant grunted and gestured toward the basement hatch at the side of the warehouse. "Yeah, simple. Unless you get eaten."
Joseph frowned. "Wait. Eaten?"
The merchant smirked. "Some of these rats are big. Real big."
Joseph gulped. He had been expecting normal rats. Maybe slightly large ones. But anything that could eat him was definitely not in the job description.
Still… he needed the money, even if it wasn't much.
The basement was dark, damp, and smelled like an old boot soaked in regret. Joseph crept down the creaky wooden stairs, pipe raised, eyes scanning the dimly lit storage area. Wooden crates were stacked along the walls, and the occasional skittering sound echoed through the room.
Then he saw them.
Rats.
Not just one or two. Dozens.
Most of them were normal-sized, but a few stood out—rats that were as big as small dogs, their red eyes gleaming in the dim light. One particularly chunky specimen was gnawing on a sack of flour, completely unfazed by Joseph's presence.
Joseph took a deep breath. This was fine. He had played enough RPGs to know that rats were always the tutorial enemies. He could handle this.
He took a step forward and raised his rusty pipe.
The rats turned.
They stared.
Then, all at once—they charged.
"OH FUCK, OH FUCK, OH FUCK—"
Joseph swung wildly as the first rat leaped at him. The pipe connected with a solid thud, sending the rat flying into a stack of crates. The other bastards hesitated for half a second before deciding he was still prey.
Another one lunged. Joseph instinctively kicked it mid-air, sending it tumbling across the room.
"WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING AGGRESSIVE?!" he shouted, barely dodging another set of snapping teeth.
One of the big ones lunged at his leg, but his tattered cape accidentally got in the way, tangling the rat for just a moment—enough time for Joseph to bring the pipe down with a desperate, two-handed swing.
CRACK.
The rat twitched and stopped moving.
Joseph stared at its unmoving body, panting.
"…Did I just—"
Before he could finish that thought, the rest of the horde attacked at once.
The next five minutes were a chaotic mess of swinging, dodging, cursing, and getting bit more times than Joseph cared to admit. There wasn't any doubt in his mind he had contracted plentiful diseases from this.
He wasn't graceful. He wasn't skilled. He definitely wasn't a hero.
But he was desperate.
By the time he smacked the last rat into submission, he was exhausted, panting, and covered in filth.
The basement looked like a battlefield. Crates were knocked over, rat corpses were strewn everywhere, and Joseph was standing in the middle of it all, holding his rusty pipe like some kind of battle-worn survivor.
He took a deep breath.
"…Holy shit. I actually won."
When Joseph emerged from the basement, sweaty and victorious, the merchant gave him a once-over and whistled.
"Well. You didn't die. That's a plus."
Joseph groaned. "Just give me my damn money..."
The merchant chuckled and tossed him five copper coins.
Joseph caught them and stared. Five copper. That was it. That was all he got for nearly being eaten alive.
But hey—it was his first payday, right?
And even though it was barely enough to buy a meal…
He had earned it.
Joseph stuffed the coins in his pocket, adjusted his cape, and stood a little taller.
He was still a broke, under-equipped mess of an adventurer.
But at least now, he was a broke, under-equipped mess of an adventurer with some actual combat experience.
If anything, it was progress.