Henry's POV
As the cab got closer to my parent's house, my heart began to palpitate. I was nervous, yes. And uncertain of how this visit would go.
It has been so long since I visited them.
I wondered whether my father would even want to see my face.
Will he accept me? Will he take me back as his son? Will he come to understand that I am a gay person and it can't be changed? Will he see that this is who I am? That being gay feels like me… feels like home.
As the cab pulled up in front of my parent's house, the palpitation increased by a hundred percent. I got out and then paid the driver.
I carried the things I had bought and went up the stairs to the porch.
I paused.
Took a deep breath.
Rang the doorbell.
And then I waited.
After a while, the door opened.
My mom was standing in the doorway, her big eyes staring at me with the utmost surprise with a startled gasp escaping her lips. It has been so long since I've seen her after my dad kicked me out.
She looked older compared to the last six years I saw her and it kinda pained me that I wasn't here to see this process of her getting old.
"Henry!" She exclaimed and then threw herself at me, in an embrace. "Oh, my boy. I've missed you."
"I've missed you more." I hugged her tightly as I blinked the tears that threatened to fall out. "I've missed you like crazy, Ma."
After some minutes of our reconnection, we disentangled.
"How have you been?" She asked In concern, glancing me over. "You look so malnourished, have you been eating? Oh, I shouldn't have let you go out into the world all by yourself. I'm a terrible mother."
"Ma, it's okay." I cajoled. " I'm fine. Don't you see how fit and well I am? I go to the gym every day, day and I'm in good health. Besides, it's not your fault that Dad had to throw me out. I want you to know that I'm not blaming you… nor him. Okay?"
She nodded. "Okay. You better come inside. I'll be making you dinner."
"This is for you." I handed her the stuff I brought. "Where's Dad?"
"He went fishing." My mom answered, moving further into the room and placing the stuff I'd given her on the table. "He'll be back anytime soon. Settle down, dear. I'll go fix dinner."
Then she disappeared into the kitchen.
I stared around the house as I took a seat on the couch. Everything was how I remembered… the coffee table, the bookshelf filled with my mom's favorite novels, the vase with fresh flowers on the side table, the family photos on the wall, the worn-out armchair where my dad always sat, the rug that had been there for as long as I could remember, the curtains with the familiar floral pattern, and the big window that let in a flood of natural light.
Everything was just as I had left it, frozen in time, yet filled with nostalgic memories and emotions that came rushing back as I sat there.
And then I heard the door open.
"Honey I'm home!" I sprang to my feet as soon as heard my Dad's voice. "Can you guess what happened? Randy's wife…" He trailed off, coming to an abrupt halt as soon as he saw me.
"Hey… Dad." I greeted awkwardly.
I could still see the hate in his eyes, the disgust, the disdain, and the sad disappointment. They were still there in his eyes… just like six years ago when he found out about my sexual orientation.
My mom came out of the kitchen. "Hey, Honey." She said nervously, and I could see she, too, was scared of how he'd react. "Henry came."
"I have no son." He said in repulse, enunciating each word. "My son died six years ago."
His words thrust through me, hurting every inch of my being.
Then he made to cross and head upstairs but I blocked him.
"What did I do wrong?" I asked in a slow, shaky voice. "Why did you hate me so much? Why can't you love me like every other dad? Huh? What did I do so wrong that I have to deserve this? Why can't you come to terms with the fact that this is who I am?"
"You know why? Every time I look at you, all I see is my failure." He raged furiously. "Your existence alone reminds me that I've failed as a father! I regret ever giving birth to you! You are the greatest mistake I've ever made in my entire life! I wish you were never born!"
Then he sidestepped me and trodded up the stairs. "Now get the fuck out of my house before I call the fucking cops on you!"
This time, his words cut harder, like a dagger. It was more painful, more unbearable.
I stood there in the middle of the room, feeling miserable for myself, wallowing in self-pity. I shouldn't have come here. I knew coming here was a mistake.
Why on earth would I think that he'll finally accept me? I'm so stupid. And pathetic.
My mom came closer. "You know he doesn't mean that Dear. You know he loves you… he just needs some time."
Then all of a sudden, all the sadness I was feeling instantly turned to rage. How dare he?!
"Yeah right. Time, six years isn't that long right?" I burst, letting all the rage I've been feeling out, "You know what Mom? I don't need him, he can fuck himself for all I care!"
"Henry!" My mom yelled.
"What?" I shouted back at her. "I've been considerate, haven't I?! I've been understanding! All through these years, even when your fucking husband threw me out, I still understood because I knew how he felt. I thought giving him some time would make him gradually come to terms with who I am but I was damn wrong! I don't need his stupid approval anymore! He doesn't have a son, well guess what, I also don't have a dad! Having him as a dad is my greatest regret!" And then I moved to the stairs. "I hope you heard all that!"
And then I angrily stormed out of the house.
"Henry!" My mom shouted. "Come back here!"
But I was past listening. Visiting, was a mistake!
I slammed the door and then swiftly walked down the street to the main road.
I took a cab that drove me to the train station. I got on the train, and in a few minutes, I was back in Los Angeles, where I live.
It was already getting dark and I didn't feel like going back to my apartment.
I was still feeling rage, disappointment… and maybe a little bit of regret. Maybe I shouldn't have talked to my dad that way.
I decided to go to a bar and drink away my sorrows and guilt.
Tony's Bar was always crowded, so I decided to head there; maybe I could also party away my sorrows and guilt.
But to my surprise, the bar was practically empty.
Tony was behind the counter pouring a drink to a customer when I came and sat on the stool. He was Puerto Rican, tall, suave, with some stubble on his handsome face.
"Yo! What's up, dude." He shook my hand as he came over. Then he smiled flirtatiously at me "What's cookin', good lookin'?"
"A romantic and sexy dinner for two, care to join?" I flirted back returning the smile.
He laughed. "You know I'll take you up on that offer, any time, any day."
Tony and I have dated in the past. He was nice, yes, but it just didn't work out. I wanted more than just a relationship, I wanted a life partner, and he didn't want to be committed to one person.
As he stared deep into my eyes, his eyes filled with lust and admiration, I went hot and I could feel my heart flutter. He has an such effect on me.
"Business doesn't seem to be going so well today," I said, trying to break the tension. "That's a first."
He shrugged. "I guess there's always a first time for everything."
And then a man walked in at the moment and sat beside me.
I did a glance over at him, and damn, he had a striking appearance!
He was tall, masculine, charming, muscular, dark-skinned with a well-groomed, thick mustache, and a short beard. His lustrous dark hair was styled in a partially tied-up look with loose strands falling over his face, while the sides were shaved.
He had on a gold hoop earring in his ears and a simple black shirt that effortlessly flexed his beautiful biceps.
Damn! That's one hell of a man!
My heart had never fluttered for a man the way it did now.
Tony, too, was feeling him. And then the man ordered a whiskey on the rocks.
"Y–yes sir." Tony stuttered and then left to get the drink.
The hot man might've noticed the way I was staring at him with lust because he turned and locked eyes with me.
My soul left my body as we made eye contact, his eyes were yellow and spellbindingly hypnotic!
But what he said next caught me off guard because he didn't look gay to me.
"Wanna fuck?"
"Huh?"