Chapter one sucked, I can't write a story for shit, so I'm just gonna write a journal of my experiences.
It's hard to believe in God. You have other religions to worry about, there are so many other religions? What makes one think they're wrong and you're right?
I go to church sometimes and it's just not easy to believe in God. I've been told that to go to heaven you have to believe in God. But that irks me the wrong way.
What about those that are undoubtedly good people that were robbed of the chance to live a happy eternal life just cause they didn't believe in God? Sure some may have stumbled a church once or twice but never believed in it, is that their fault?
And there are even other people who never even had a chance to find out about God or Christianity, so just cause they never knew about him they'd just end up in hell?
There is most likely nuance to it, but if you just tell everyone this willy nilly, someone has bound to misunderstand. That someone being me.
Ive heard reading the bible makes you learn a lot of life lessons and it's basically a guide for winning the game of life, me myself I have a bible at home but never got around tor reading it.
All these supernatural stuff and evidence of Jesus and all that, it's not easy to believe, to have faith in no less.
Some Christians don't uphold the characteristics of what the bible might say, but it's not their fault, it's usually because of their own personality and it's not easy to change, yet I can't help but feel I've been deceived sometimes when I do something wrong and I get called out for it.
Maybe it was my fault, maybe it wasn't actually all that bad, I'm just overreacting.
But the bad feeling I had was still there. Maybe it's no one's fault, maybe it's God's fault, maybe it's not that serious. But hey I'm getting off topic here.
God is seen as a divine being capable of anything, yet he doesn't do anything, atleast not with what our eyes can see, yet I see news of bad shit happening everyday, most is not their fault, why is this almighty divine being helping me and having a good life.
While these people end up in miserable situations I can't fathom to be in. I've always been a lucky guy, what with me being innocent, being susceptible to deceit and manipulation, but somehow ever to go through it all with little to no trauma.
I've always thought, maybe it's cause of God, but also feel guilty because it's caused by God. Why don't God help others that deserve it much more than me? Why me? But I like that it's me that was chosen, yet I still feel guilt. It's a complicated feeling, I'll still try my best to be happy and dumb though, even with a tiny bit of guilt deep inside me.
What's next? Oh, people didn't ask for bad parenting or bad influences so because they never found the path of goodness, or never had the chance to, they are just sent to hell of endless suffering? That doesn't sit right with me.
Sure there are people that are pure evil, there are still circumstances to why they are the way they are though, they may have ruined their second chance, but they didn't ask to be born in a shit environment. It's to the point it's hard to separate who's "evil" and who's "good".
So my conclusion is that no one is bad or evil, they are just more evil or more good compared to others in YOUR mind, in your conscious mind.
In conclusion, this is why I don't believe in God, if it's so strict to the point the people I love that never had the chance to believe in this almighty being, are subject to eternal suffering, then I might never be able to believe in the person that created everything.