Xyrine Jean's POV
"Xyrine, are you okay?"
I shifted my gaze from the ceiling to Ella. "I don't know," I replied, looking away.
"Let's make sure our paths never cross again."
When Spade said those words yesterday, I felt overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that I forgot who I was. I wanted to grab his arm and stop him from leaving, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I wondered, what would happen if I told him I liked him too? That's when it hit me—we were too different. His life is straight and steady, while mine is a mess. Besides, we're enemies. I couldn't find a reason for this love to grow.
"You like him too, don't you?"
Ella's question brought me back to reality. My jaw tightened. Her question was simple—just a yes or no. But why did it feel so complicated?
"I don't know," I said, my voice is uncertain.
She just smiled at my answer. "You know, when I first suspected that he might like you, I told myself it was fine. It didn't hurt—at least, that's what I thought. But I didn't realize how painful it would be. Before, I didn't mind that he ignored me. After all, he didn't seem interested in anyone. I felt secure in the idea that as long as he wasn't falling for someone, I could be content watching him from afar. But I didn't expect the day I feared most would come—the day the cold-hearted leader of devils fell in love." She laugh softly.
"In my two years at Montreal, I've gotten used to watching him toy with other students. He was heartless, ruthless, and spared no one. But in those two years, I never saw him hesitate—until now. It's amazing to see him show his softer side in front of everyone, and do you know why?" She smiled again. "Because of you."
"Recently, I've realized love isn't selfish. Yeah, it hurts to know he likes someone else, but seeing him show that side of himself for that girl… I think it's worth letting go."
She held my hand tightly. "So please..." She looked at me with eyes full of sincerity, as if she might cry at any moment. "Don't let him go back to who he used to be."
I gently pulled my hand away. "I don't know, Ella. I think it's better this way. I mean, all of this is new to me. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't know if it's worth the risk. I don't know if I should step forward or step back—"
She grabbed my hand again, gripping it firmly. "Just trust your heart, Xyrine. I don't know what's holding you back, but I can guarantee it's worth the risk. To be honest, Spade helped you come out of your shell. He made you feel things you've never felt before. He showed you a side of yourself you didn't even know existed. Whatever is keeping you from moving forward, let it go. You're in a new chapter of your life now. Embrace it."
Her words hit me like a lightning bolt, and my heart pounded in my chest.
A new chapter of my life… Do I deserve to step out of my dark past? Can I leave behind what I used to be and embrace this? Am I even allowed to?
I was spiraling in those thoughts when my phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket. When I saw the name on the screen, my heart raced.
09568**** is calling...
It was Spade's number.
I hesitated, unsure if I should answer, until Ella placed her hand on my shoulder.
She smiled. "Go ahead."
I exhaled deeply, muttering to myself, Whatever happens, happens.'
"Hello, Spad—"
"Miss, if you're the girlfriend of the owner of this phone, please come pick him up!" The loud voice on the other end made me pull the phone away from my ear.
"Girlfriend? Pick him up?"
I was about to respond when the caller abruptly ended the call. Moments later, a text message popped up. It was an address.
"Don't tell me something bad happened to him?"
The Bar
The moment I stepped into the bar, Spade's voice echoed through the place. When I saw him, he looked like a completely different person—completely wasted.
"Excuse me, I'm here for—"
"Miss, thank goodness you're here! Are you this man's girlfriend?" The bar manager didn't even let me finish my sentence.
"No, but—"
"Whatever your problem is, deal with it! Don't drag others into it! Do you know how long he's been drinking? And do you know what he's been saying?!"
My brows furrowed. "Saying what?"
"'Xyrine, give me Xyrine, I'll buy Xyrine, take all my money, just give me Xyrine...' He kept shouting your name while throwing his black card around! And worst of all, he said he'd give up the entire SY Group of Companies if it meant getting you!"
My mouth fell open.
The manager continued ranting. "SY Group of Companies? Like anyone would believe he's the heir to that conglomerate. Sure, he has a black card, but that's just ridiculous!"
Should I tell him Spade is actually the heir?
"You kids these days. Is this what love looks like now? You're all giving me headaches!" he muttered before storming off.
I scratched my head, utterly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, sir. Don't worry, I'll take him home."
"Good. I can't deal with this anymore!"
As soon as the manager left, I quickly made my way to Spade, who was now sprawled out on the floor.
What the hell? Is he fishing for something on the ground?
"Spade, wake up!" I lightly tapped him.
He lifted his head, grinning like a fool. "Oh, Xyrine! hic You're here! hic You're the tenth hic Xyrine tonight!"
I frowned. "Tenth?"
"Yes, ma'am," the bartender chimed in. "Everyone who spoke to him, he called Xyrine."
I sighed, shaking my head. When I looked back at him, he was kissing the floor again.
"Spade, get up! We're the only ones left in the bar!" I yelled.
He raised his head and stared at me seriously. "If I get up hic will you stop hic pushing me away?"
I averted my gaze, suddenly flustered. Why is he acting like a child?
"Yes, so get up already!" I finally said, feeling the stares of the bar staff. It's embarrassing.
A wide grin spread across his face as he slowly stood up and walked toward me. "Xyrineeeee!" he slurred, arms open wide, lips puckered like he was ready to swallow me whole.
"Xyrineeeeeee—"BOG!
I watched him hit the floor after my punch landed squarely on his jaw. Everyone went silent, their eyes glued to us.
I closed my eyes and groaned. Great. Now what? How am I supposed to drag him out of here? And where do I even take him? Maybe his three idiot friends?
Grabbing his phone, I tried to unlock it.
What could his password be?
After a series of failed attempts and frustrations, I muttered to myself, Could it be… my name?
I typed Xyrine.
Unlock Successful.
I blinked, stunned. Who even uses someone else's name as their password? What an idiot.
When the screen unlocked, I froze. The wallpaper was a photo of me, taken from behind, my long black hair falling down my back.
When did he take this? And why does it look like a professional shot?
Glancing at him sprawled on the floor I whispered softly, "Stalker."
Shaking my head, I called the only saved number in his contacts labeled Butler Ma.
"Good evening, Young Master Spade. It's already past midnight. Please let us know if you need someone to pick you up," the man on the other end said politely yet with an authoritative tone.
I guess he is the head butler of the Sy clan.
"Hello, this is Spade's..."
I paused, unsure of what to say. What should I call myself? Friend? That's ridiculous.
"This is Spade's acquaintance. We are currently at XXX bar, and he has already passed out. Can you come and get him?"
"I understand. Please kindly wait there."
After making arrangements for Spade to be picked up, I sighed, sitting beside his unconscious form.
I poked his cheek. "You're such a headache, Young Master."
For some reason, I couldn't help but smile.
After a few minutes
Several vehicles pulled up in front of the bar—a limousine and two security cars.
Isn't this a bit much just to pick up a drunk guy?
After they took Spade from me, I turned to leave, but before I could take more than a couple of steps, someone grabbed my arm.
"The Head Butler Ma cordially invites you to visit the mansion," one of the bodyguards said politely, though his tone carried authority.
I chose not to refuse—I wasn't in the mood to cause trouble. They had me ride in one of the security cars, while Spade was taken in the limousine.
The drive wasn't long. Soon, we entered a gated compound. We passed through a long, well-paved road lined with neatly trimmed pine trees along the gutter before arriving at the entrance of a grand, white mansion.
I've seen mansions before, but this one was no joke. Its sheer size and design screamed wealth and power. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if putting a hit on Spade would cost billions.
As I stepped out of the car, I was greeted by rows of maids and butlers standing at attention outside the mansion—not exactly surprising, given the circumstances. My eyes landed on a man in his 60s standing in the center of the line. He had an air of authority. This must be Butler Ma.
"Take the Young Master to his room," he instructed, and the other butlers quickly followed his orders.
"It's a pleasure to see you again," he said with a warm smile as he addressed me.
Again? Have we met before?
"Have we met before?" I finally asked, unable to hold back my curiosity.
"Perhaps you haven't seen me, but I've seen you several times," he replied calmly.
What? A chill ran down my spine. I wanted to ask more questions, but I figured it would only drag the conversation out. I chose to keep my mouth shut instead.
"May I leave now?" I asked, changing the topic.
"Why not stay the night? Besides, we need to ensure you've done nothing harmful to the Young Master," he said with a pointed look.
"And if I have?"
"My apologies, but you wouldn't leave the Sy family estate alive."
"Well, on our first meeting, I punched him and threw him to the ground. Oh, and I also kneed him. And just earlier, I punched him hard enough to knock him out," I said bluntly.
The butler's eyes widened for a moment before he burst into hearty laughter.
What the hell? That laugh totally ruined his composed image.
"You truly are unlike anyone else," he said, smiling warmly.
Weird old man.
"You must be tired. May we escort you to the guest room so you can rest?"
I didn't argue. It was late, and I was exhausted. A few minutes later, we arrived at a massive room at the end of the hallway. I frowned. The room was so large and intricately designed that I felt like some kind of misplaced princess.
"Young lady, this is your dressing area. You may bathe here," said a maid, bowing before attempting to leave.
I grabbed her arm gently before she could go. "Can I ask something?"
"Y-yes, of course," she replied nervously.
"Where's the room of that fool?"
"Fool? Who do you mean?"
"I mean Spade," I clarified.
Her face turned red as she averted her gaze. What is she thinking?
"Ah… well… even if I knew, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you. Only Head Butler Ma has access to the Young Master's room," she said hesitantly.
"I just want to know. Can I?"
She swallowed hard before answering, "His room is at the very end of the hallway." Then, without waiting for a response, she quickly turned and walked away.
Right. I need to talk to him.
After taking a shower, I carefully stepped out of the guest room. The hallway stretched on endlessly, and it felt like a marathon just to reach the end. When I finally stood in front of his door, I hesitated for a moment before turning the doorknob. To my surprise, it wasn't locked.
I stepped inside quietly and closed the door behind me.
The room was enormous, far too large for one person. Everything was neat and meticulously arranged—a stark contrast to what I'd expect from a guy.
Wow. This bastard really is that "heir" type you only see in movies.
My eyes landed on the massive bed at the center of the room. There he was, fast asleep. My heart thudded loudly in my chest.
Unconsciously, I smiled. "I guess we can't talk."
I was about to leave when something caught my attention. A portrait of a woman.
I walked toward it and stared. Isn't this the same picture Spade has as his phone wallpaper? My gaze wandered, and I noticed another portrait. It was of me, eating at the cafeteria, my mouth stuffed with food. Not far from that was another portrait—this time, it was me sleeping in class.
I facepalmed. "Ha! This guy really took stalking to a new level," I muttered.
As I walked further, my eyes landed on a portrait near his bed. It was me again, standing upright, smiling properly at the camera. Unlike the others, this one felt… different.
My heart raced as I stepped closer to him. "Have you been watching me all this time?" I whispered, leaning slightly closer. "What a shame. We're the same."
I turned to leave, but Spade stirred slightly. "Xyrine..." he murmured in his sleep.
I couldn't help but smile. He's sleep-talking again.
I moved closer to the head of his bed, gazing at him quietly. "Do you really like me that much, Spade? Or are you just confused and can't tell the difference between curiosity and love?" I whispered softly.
Before I could say anything else, I stood up and turned to leave. But before I could take another step, a hand grabbed mine. I turned back, startled to find his eyes open.
I was about to speak when he suddenly pulled me, and I fell against his chest.
What the—when did he wake up? Did he hear what I said?
"Is this a dream… or what?" he asked groggily.
"A dream," I replied, my head still pressed against his chest.
He chuckled softly. "If this is a dream, can I tell you something?"
"Go ahead," I whispered.
"Isn't it funny? I see you every hour of the day, yet I can no longer tell what's real and what isn't. But if this really is a dream, then… can I ask one thing?"
"Please, don't ask me to stay away from you. Not here."
The only sound I could hear was the steady yet thunderous rhythm of his heartbeat. And yet, it felt like I was going deaf.
"My whole life, I've never had to beg for anything I wanted. But when I met you, I reached a point where I had to use others just to get close to you. It's ridiculous. The flowers that were meant for you—you were the one I made pick them up. The chocolates I secretly left in your locker because I couldn't hand them to you directly—you took them for yourself. And the song that was supposed to be for you…I ended up singing it to someone else because I lost the courage when it came to you."
"It's funny, isn't it? I avoided so many women in my life, but karma got me when it came to you."
Right, This is funny, I thought, my heart pounding in my chest.
"The night you told me to stay away from you… that was the first time I truly felt rejected in my 20 years of living. At first, I thought it was my ego that hurt, but I realized it wasn't—it was here," he said, pointing to his chest.
"Then why did you say our paths wouldn't cross again?" I asked quietly.
"That was the first time I wasn't being selfish. It hurt, but I like you so much that I was willing to hurt myself just to respect your wishes. And because of that… I've made my decision."
"I'm going back to Europe." His arms loosened around me as he said those words.
It felt like my heart stopped. I lifted my head, looking at him, unsure of what to say.
I wanted to wake him up, tell him everything I was feeling, but something deep inside told me this might be the right thing to do.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and stepped away.
That's it...
"Maybe… this love isn't for us, Spade."