"A hundred thousand dollars in compensation?!!!"
Kaus, a long-time smoker who had been too poor to afford cigarettes for years, stood across the counter, staring at Coulson's exceptionally kind face. After spending his last bit of money on cigarettes, he had become a pauper once again. Now, clutching Coulson's slightly rough hand, Kaus burst into tears of excitement.
"Phil! The next time you die, I swear I'll make sure to rehabilitate you... No, I mean, I'll burn you more paper money!"
That was close—I almost blurted out "resurrect."
As one of the five heroes of Warcraft, a shaman skilled in manipulating natural forces, Kaus knew that resurrection was no simple feat. It wasn't as easy as clicking an icon on a skill bar. After studying shamanic knowledge in depth, he realized that bringing someone back to life meant defying the natural order—something far riskier than it seemed.
[Soul of the Ancestors: Consumes 4% of mana to return the soul to the body, resurrect a dead target, and restore 35% of its maximum health and mana. Cannot be cast during combat.]
The vast treasure trove of shamanic knowledge detailed spells such as Soul of the Ancestors and its advanced version, Ancestral Vision. But only the most skilled high priests possessed this ability.
Resurrecting a recently deceased person required the high priest to tear open a rift in time and space, resist the pull of both heaven and hell, and retrieve the soul. Then, with intricate guiding spells, they had to reconnect the soul to the body's neurons—without making a single mistake. A single error could lead to a dislocated soul, rendering the body useless.
And if the deceased had been gone for a while? That meant engaging in direct combat with archdemons or archangels who governed the afterlife. If lucky, the priest might only encounter lesser demons or newly ascended angels. If unlucky, they could face terrifying beings like Vasak and Samikina or holy seraphs like Gabriel and Raphael.
And if fate was especially cruel? They'd end up confronting Jehovah or Mephisto—the true overlords of the planes, also known as the Demon God of Dimensions.
In short, for a shaman, resurrecting someone was an extreme gamble. The moment a soul left the mortal world, divine forces would claim it. Even if the priest attempted to intervene, they wouldn't be able to venture too far before getting dragged into another dimension entirely.
So for Kaus, a "mere" $100,000 wasn't worth the risk.
When the Avengers first assembled, Phil Coulson had met his demise at the hands of Loki, the God of Mischief. However, the ruthless director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Nick Fury, had used Kree technology to concoct a resurrection serum, bringing Coulson back to life so he could continue working for S.H.I.E.L.D.
As for the side effects… well, that was a problem for later.
"Paper money?" Coulson tilted his head, puzzled by the custom. Still, he accepted Kaus' gesture of goodwill and asked, "Kaus, what's your bank account number? We need a verified account to process the compensation."
Listen to that—how considerate!
This was exactly what made Coulson Marvel's nicest guy. He even thoughtfully reminded Kaus, "You need a serious account."
Kaus' current identity had been forcibly inserted into reality by the will of the universe. Though his documents were all legitimate, his blank resume made things a bit suspicious. He knew better than anyone that his background wouldn't hold up to scrutiny.
So he asked tentatively, "Uh… could S.H.I.E.L.D. handle that part for me?"
In a society where everything was meticulously recorded from birth—where even the neighborhood committee had files on everyone—getting a "serious" identity wasn't easy. Any irregularities would stand out under public scrutiny.
To his surprise, Coulson only hesitated for a moment before nodding.
"That won't be a problem! S.H.I.E.L.D. has always had a good working relationship with the Immigration Bureau and the Taxation Bureau. Your documents will be ready by tomorrow."
Kaus raised an eyebrow. "Good" working relationship? The reality was probably closer to "intimidating" those departments into compliance. But that was none of his concern.
So he accepted Coulson's kindness with a smile.
"One hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. Once I get it—"
"Build a proper bathroom in your hotel first!" Coulson interrupted with a wry smile. "Even if you don't care, your guests might—especially young women with mysophobia."
"Oh—"
Kaus had been shameless when he was broke, but now that he had funds, he waved his hand grandly.
"Phil, don't worry! Once the money comes in, I'll install tap water, bathrooms, water heaters, refrigerators, cable TV… the whole package! I'll even buy extra mattresses and quilts!"
Coulson was surprised by this declaration. He had assumed Kaus was simply stingy, but now he realized the man was just poor.
After a brief pause, Coulson said, "Kaus, there's something I'd like to discuss with you."
"What is it?"
Coulson hesitated before continuing.
"S.H.I.E.L.D. is considering selecting personnel to participate in your course. I'd like to conduct a test this weekend and would need your authorization…"
"Of course, Phil! No problem at all!" Kaus agreed instantly.
So, Coulson wanted to promote the elemental course within S.H.I.E.L.D.? That was fine by him!
But Kaus couldn't help but chuckle. In an organization as riddled with spies and undercover agents as S.H.I.E.L.D., Phil Coulson was already an anomaly. Did Nick Fury really think shamanic abilities could be mass-produced?
Even if some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had the potential to resonate with the elements, Kaus saw this as an opportunity. These people would be his future students—each paying an extravagant tuition fee of $10,000 per hour.
No matter how things played out, Kaus wouldn't lose.
However, he decided to temper Coulson's expectations.
"I should warn you, Phil—the conditions for learning this knowledge are extremely strict. I highly doubt anyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. meets the requirements… aside from you."
Coulson let out a helpless sigh.
"I'd be happy if we could find just one more. If I'm the only one, I might start feeling like an actual alien."
Kaus chuckled. "Geniuses are always lonely and proud, my friend."
Coulson reached out and shook his hand.
"Kaus, I don't even know what to say. But I promise you—when it comes to course fees and other arrangements, S.H.I.E.L.D. will ensure you're very well compensated."
Kaus narrowed his eyes, his grin widening.
A hundred thousand dollars was a nice windfall, but having a steady stream of income?
Now that was the true art of doing business.
Coulson—what a good man!
Final Notes:
I improved sentence flow, grammar, and readability while keeping the word count close to 1200.
I preserved the humor and character dynamics while making it sound more natural.
Let me know if you'd like any additional tweaks!