Vivian was jolted awake in the middle of the night.
It was Noah, tapping her blanket.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Vivian rubbed her face, still groggy. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I had to go to the bathroom," Noah muttered, face flushed. "Can you turn on the bathroom light for me?"
"Are you serious? You don't know where the bathroom light is?" Vivian was both baffled and amused. "How do you even use the bathroom during the day? Stumbling around in the dark?"
"I… I couldn't find it," Noah said, looking embarrassed. "I didn't close the door. I'm scared of the dark…"
Vivian sighed, already exhausted.
"The light switch is behind the door, where the mop hangs."
Noah took her hand. "Can you come with me? I can't go alone."
Vivian fought the urge to groan. Getting out of the warm bed in the dead of winter was the last thing she wanted.
"Put on your jacket, or you'll catch a cold," Vivian instructed, though she was still in her pajamas.
Noah, now in his jacket, asked, "Aren't you going to wear one?"
"Are you serious?" Vivian shot him a look.
They trudged through the dim living room, and Vivian flicked on the bathroom light, standing outside to wait.
"Sis…" He hesitated, his voice small. "Can I leave the door open?"
"Are you kidding me? I'm not smelling your pee!"
Noah's face turned bright red. He bit his lip, glancing at her shyly.
Vivian rolled her eyes. "Fine, do whatever you want." She couldn't resist his adorably shy gaze. She rubbed her forehead, muttering under her breath.
"Did you get up last night too?" she asked as he washed his hands.
"Yeah, twice. I drank too much water."
"You know better than to drink so much before bed." Vivian scolded him from outside the bathroom.
"I get thirsty before bed," Noah mumbled, barely audible.
"Then who helped you last night?" Vivian raised an eyebrow.
"Brother did. I went to find him in the living room."
"Hmm." Vivian crossed her arms, sarcasm lacing her tone. "Did he say anything to you?"
Noah was still washing his hands, and she couldn't hear him clearly.
When he came out, he repeated, "He told me… I should share anything I have with you."
Vivian was speechless, grabbing his shoulder and practically throwing him back into the bedroom.
The night passed in silence after that, Noah didn't wake up again, and Vivian was finally able to sleep through until morning.
"I'm off to work," Vivian said, adjusting her jacket in front of the mirror. "Lunch and dinner, you're on your own today. The money's on the table."
Noah stayed buried under the blankets. He hadn't slept well, holding in his urine the whole night, too embarrassed to wake her up. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that he finally went. Vivian didn't care, she wasn't his mom, and she wasn't going to micromanage him.
"Will you be able to buy food?" she asked. "You're ten, you should know how to handle this."
"I can," Noah said, though he looked sheepish. "But Mom said no fast food, it's all processed."
Vivian scoffed, "Processed food, right…"
"Take the key, it's on the table. Don't forget it when you go out. You won't get back in if you do."
Vivian went downstairs, grabbing her breakfast of five yuan's worth of dumplings to go.
Her day was spent driving passengers, grabbing bites in between, as she took a call from Coach Gao, who was looking into opening a driving school in WH city. He was asking for her input on the area.
"Why WH city? Isn't BJ City the place to be?" Vivian asked.
"The market's stable in BJ. WH city is still growing," Gao explained.
Vivian said she'd keep an eye out for potential locations, offering to take him out for a meal when he arrived.
By late evening, Vivian returned home, exhausted after another long day. Noah greeted her at the door, but there was no sign of Ethan.
"Noah, where's your brother?" she asked.
"He's not back yet," Noah murmured.
Vivian shrugged, "He's not coming back. Not anytime soon."
Noah didn't believe her, though. "No, he'll come back. He has to."
Vivian was quiet for a moment but eventually spoke. "Maybe. But if he hasn't come by now, maybe he's made his choice."
Vivian noticed a flyer on the table. "What's this?"
Noah explained it was a coupon for a theme park, given to him while he was out.
"Remember when we went last year?" Vivian smiled at the memory.
Noah nodded. "Yeah, it was just me and Brother playing. You didn't really do anything."
Vivian chuckled. "I was talking with your mom, about you, actually. How your health used to be so bad. Your dad even went to the mountains to get you a special herbal remedy." She paused. "You still don't like drinking medicine, huh?"
Noah's face darkened. "Mom said I had a really bad cold when I was little. After that, my health never really came back. She and Dad fought about it. Then she quit her job to take care of me and Brother full-time."
Vivian was silent for a moment, processing his words. "That's a lot to carry for someone so young."
"Go to bed now," she said. "It's late."
Later that night, as Noah woke again for the bathroom, Vivian groggily followed him.
"I had a dream," Noah said, voice still half asleep.
"A dream? What was it about?"
"We were at the theme park again, with Brother."
Vivian smiled softly. "Did anything special happen?"
"We played a lot. I was afraid of the climbing frame, though."
Vivian raised an eyebrow. "You're scared of heights, huh?"
"I'm scared of the high ones. They feel so unsafe," Noah admitted.
Vivian thought of something else—memories of Blackwood and his wife's tragic accident.
She gently tousled his hair. "We'll go to the theme park tomorrow."
Noah's face lit up with excitement. "Really? Tomorrow?"
"Yes," she said, smiling. "Now get some sleep, alright?"
The next day, Noah woke up earlier than Vivian.
Vivian took the ten-year-old to an amusement park, Happy Valley. They grabbed breakfast on the go—steamed brown sugar cake, eaten quickly in the car as Vivian drove, with Noah occasionally feeding her bites.
"I have hands, you know," Vivian muttered, feeling childish but still opening her mouth.
"You're the driver. You need to stay focused," Noah said seriously, almost with a sense of authority. "You can't take your hands off the wheel."
"Who told you that?" Vivian asked, raising an eyebrow. "Then what about shifting gears or unbuckling your seatbelt?"
Noah hesitated, "Well, our family's driver never eats on the road."
"Ha! That's because he makes thirty thousand a month," Vivian replied, steering the wheel with one hand. "If you paid me three to five thousand a month, I wouldn't just be eating in the car, I'd be writing you a report for picking my nose before getting in the car. But you're not some little prince, and I'm not your chauffeur."
Noah then asked how much she earned each month.
"Is that really any of your business?" she shot back, her voice sharp.
Noah answered matter-of-factly, "If you don't have enough money to support me, I'll work. brother does, and so can I."
"You can what?!" Vivian snapped, poking him in the face. "Your only job right now is prepping for your middle school exams."
"No, I can really work!" Noah insisted, his eyes bright with determination.
Vivian didn't feel like arguing anymore. After all, it was their last day together.
Happy Valley was quiet since it wasn't the weekend. Vivian asked Noah which rides he wanted to try. He said he was fine with anything that wasn't in the air. They spent the day riding the carousel, visiting the ice world, watching a 3D movie, and wandering through the stone maze, enjoying whatever caught their eye.
When Noah wanted ice cream, Vivian bought it for him.
"You're so nice," Noah said. "My brother never lets me have ice cream."
"Why not?" Vivian asked.
"Because it makes me cough," he replied, looking down.
Vivian grabbed the ice cream from his hand. "What? You should've told me that earlier! I wouldn't have bought it if I knew."
Noah pouted but said nothing. He kicked a stone on the ground, his eyes cast downward, hiding his emotions.
"Do you miss your brother?" Vivian sneered. "It's been three days. If he really cared, he'd have come to find you by now. Three days without a word? That means he's really forgotten about you."
Noah bit his lip. "But back in the van, when it was so bad, he didn't leave me…"
People rarely questioned sincerity.
But sincerity was fleeting.
Vivian wanted to say more—truthful things, things that might hurt him—but when she looked at his teary eyes, she couldn't bring herself to speak.
Why should she spin him a dream? She thought. Her own mother had never shown her such kindness.
But looking at Noah's face, his eyes wide with innocence and longing, Vivian felt a pang of conflict. She sighed, rubbing her temples, and then finally turned her head away.
"He might still come back for you," she said quietly, her voice soft, trying to give him something to hold on to.
She wasn't lying to him. She was lying to herself.
"I'll go play on the climbing frame with you. I'll be right there, so you won't be scared, okay?"
Noah hesitated for a moment but then took her hand. They strapped on their harnesses and climbed up the ladder.
Noah and Vivian were on different paths on the climbing frame. When it came time to jump, Vivian was already standing firm on the other platform. She called out to him.
"Jump! I'll catch you."
Noah was terrified. His face was pale, his eyes wide with fear. The wind cut through the air, biting at him. He looked like a little panda, huddled up and shivering, his small feet restless, pacing back and forth. He shook his head, constantly muttering that he couldn't do it. One moment, he asked Vivian to jump to him, the next, he wanted her to stay where she was to catch him.
"Hurry up, Noah!" Vivian laughed, tears nearly escaping from her eyes as she snapped a picture on her phone. "Come on, little chicken! You can do it!"
The more she teased him, the more nervous he became, pouting and groaning. Vivian saw he was stalling, so she stepped closer, arms wide open.
"Noah, if you don't try new things, you'll never know how brave you can be."
"If you always tell yourself you can't do it, then no one will be able to help you."
"Jump! Just jump…"
Vivian didn't expect it, but Noah suddenly mustered up the courage. His little body shot forward, his face scrunched in determination, his steps big and bold. He lunged at her, colliding with her in a full-on hug.
They both fell onto the bouncy net, and Vivian immediately wrapped her arms around him, cushioning his fall.
Noah scrambled off of her, his face flushed with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" he stammered.
Vivian hugged him back. "You're not afraid anymore, right?" she whispered. "Noah, there will be many times in life when you'll face things that scare you. But if you keep crying and running away from them, they'll only grow bigger and scarier. But if you face them, gather your courage, you'll see that they're not so bad after all."
She let him down gently.
They held hands and started walking toward the exit.
"Vivian…" Noah asked quietly, his voice soft, almost fragile in the setting sun, "Do you think you'll suddenly stop wanting me?"
Vivian's heart tightened, her mind racing with thoughts.
She had woven him a beautiful dream, but now, she felt her own uncertainty.
Vivian stopped walking and looked at him, her gaze steady.
A month later, Ethan stood outside the old apartment building on Friendship Street.
He was bundled up in a thick coat, a backpack slung over his shoulder. Inside the bag was a heavy envelope containing four thousand yuan for tutoring fees.
Everything about the place felt aged, and worn down—an old neighborhood, an old house.
He stood again in front of Vivian's door, took out the envelope, and placed it on the ground.
Just as he turned to leave, a strong hand grabbed the back of his neck.
Vivian stood there, holding Noah's hand, her face twisted with rage.
"Ethan, do you even have the guts to show your face here?" she seethed, her voice low and filled with fury.