Those two positive lines on the four pregnancy test strips and the pounding of my heard in my ears where the only things on my mind, sitting down on the bathroom floor in my room, I cry my eyes out,I could have swore that I took the pills, 'this can not be right' I think to my self, ' Hospital, right I will have to go to the hospital to confirm' I get into the shower and have my bath,then I put on a sweat shirt and joggers then I grab my car key, lock my house door and I have a silent yet full of thoughts drive to the hospital, reaching the hospital,I head for the reception, " good afternoon,i am here to meet with gynaecologist Samantha, she is expecting me" I say with a smile to the receptionist, after a quick call to confirm, she lets me go in side. "Hey baby, how are you?" Samantha says to me," I did a pregnancy test with the pregnancy test strips and it showed positive,even though I took the pills" I say to her, Samantha has been a family friend,a friend of my mom's and a really nice lady and what I love about her is the fact that she always gets right to the point of the main discussion. " How many times did you run the text?" She asks back, "four times" I say looking down at my feet which suddenly looks interesting with a solid hint of frustration on my voice.
She called a nurse in to her office and tells her to draw some blood for a pregnancy text just to be sure while she talks to me, "who is the father sunshine? Why is he not here with you?" After telling her everything that happened that night she sympathizes with me and says " sunshine,I know you already did your text but this text is mine okay, you don't have to worry about anything, you are not a child, you are an adult so no one and I repeat no one will yell at you" she says in a motherly loving voice. Samantha has no kids, her son died in a car crash when we were five years old and the perpetrator was arrested, that was what I was told at the time.
Getting me some water from her mini fridge in her office and after a couple of sips, q knock on the door makes my heart start to pound, although I already know exactly what the report has to say, but me going to hear it from a mother figure was somewhat scary. Taking in a deep breath I try really hard to calm my self. Putting on her glasses and reading the report she smiles and says "everything is gonna be alright, do your parents know?" She asks me, " no, you are the only one who knows about this, not even Brianna knows" I day to her, she had once met Brianna at my graduation so she wasn't a stranger to the name or the person.
After altra sound check up, and running although texts like urinalysis and blood count and what not, and a serious talk between my self and Samantha, who was counseling me and begging me not to have an abortion that the baby was the gift of life. She had said that because abortion did cross my mind plus it was also because of the circumstances of how I got pregnant.
After staying with her for a couple of hours, I decided to go home to my parents house to tell them the news. I called my step brother on my way home, " Hey, good afternoon Nathan,yeah I'm good, how about you? I have some news I want to share with mom and dad and also with you,so could you please come home, I really want you there" after the call,I call Brianna and tell her to come as well.
By the time I get home, everyone is there, when I walk in to the living room, everyone is staring at me, the sudden focus on me makes me nauseous,i instantly cover my mouth and run to the bathroom to throw up, my panicked looking best friend is by my side holding my hair and keeping it from my face while my mom looks at me with a known suspicion, after washing my mouth to stop it from tasting all bitter, and thanking Brianna,we head back into the living room, where my mom and dad are discussing and my brother looks at them annoyed.
Immediately I sit down he asks " are you sick? Is it serious? Is there something I can do? Can I be a donor if it's something serious like a kidney of some sort? Kiddo you know I love you right?" His words make me smile as I look at his worried face, " I'm not sick, although it is something serious" I say, but I'm not able to complete my sentence as my mom cuts me short and says " you are pregnant aren't you" it wasn't a question but a statement, I look her straight in the face as I know she is disappointed at me, when I was a kid, I talked about not being like my mom who had me without my dad by her side, I always talked about getting married first, but I knew she was ashamed of me. " Mom..." I try to say but she cuts me off " don't call me that! I have no daughter! I can't be a mother to a girl who sleeps around and I know you don't know who the father is do you? She screams at my face. I look at my dad for help, but he looks away with sympathy in his eyes. " You see she doesn't know who the father is! What a prostitute" "mom please!" Nathan shouts at her " I do, I do know who the father is and so do you all but I don't want him in my life mom, he doesn't want me mom, he just had fun with me and left me like a slut mom" I sob looking at her,with my eyes all red.
"If you are here to beg for help,I'm sorry my husband and I won't help you, as I said before, I don't want a prostitute for a child" she yells at me " mom, please I'm not here for help, you know I'm well off" " oh please, the little money you make monthly from your silly work,let me guess a hundred and fifty dollars a month?" She says sarcastically, I look at her then at everyone else in the room, is this the woman who gave birth to me, yes she never liked my dad because immediately after making her pregnant he eloped with the love of his life, well I guess she always showed me she didn't like me but I was too naive to think that way. "Leave my house!" She screams while standing up from her chair " get the hell out of my house right this moment!" At that moment, I didn't want to be like my mom, I know I didn't want Deven but, I won't take the pain out on my baby, for he or she is Innocent, and whatever my baby ends up being, whether boy or girl, i will love him or her.