I remember wanting to see a sunrise, sitting in my bed, watching through a window, night fading away. And then, realizing that my window is facing west, lying back down, falling asleep. I remember that clearly. Disappointment that I felt. Coldness of my pillow. Softness of my blanket. It was real.
It was in my dream then, that instead by the Sun I got blinded by the Moon. Moonlight revealed creases of my face, harsh and cold.
"Look back" said the Moon "look back at your life."
So I did just that. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder.
Behind me, I saw the Earth in utter chaos. Places strewn around, people lost.
"That's what happens when you follow advice of the Night." Moon's voice echoed in my mind.
I turned back towards the Moon, with hate, full of anger. "Who do you think you are" I screamed furiously at it.
"I am you." was whispered somewhere inside me "And you are me."
Suddenly, inside of me I felt Planets moving, and I saw myself on the edge of Chaos. I turned around looking for the Moon, still angry, then realized.. It was me floating in the Sky. I looked down at my body standing there with Moon in it's eyes.
I screamed in fear "Give me back my life, imposter!"
It looked at me seriously through my own eyes.
"No." Whisper spread through silence. "It's your turn now to helplessly observe."
I opened my mouth to curse in despair, when he looked away and I felt stone of my mouth. I saw with now always open eyes my own body walking away, descending down the yellow path of my life. I sensed the new me, cold stone kept warm by mercy of the Sun, and I remembered long nights of distant past, endlessly reflecting rays of sunlight above the Earth of my dreams.
Snorting a smile, I calmed down. Soon, it will be my time to wander around again. I looked one last time. Carefree, he followed that yellow path that was my life, unaware of cold shadows waiting in the dark.
Closed my eyes, indifferent out of habit. I know how to wait.
Know how to wait.
***
Mani thought that today will be a good day. He woke up on time, had a breakfast, arrived to his basement office without a hitch, and even got that best first cup of coffee fresh out of the pot in the break room without having to chat with anybody.
Then he started daily assessment and data comparison. Which was what he was supposed to do as it was his job for past ten years. And he did it daily, except on weekends of course. And official holidays. And that one time he got down with a flu so Blaise did it instead. And it was always fine, every single time. Even if he was sleep deprived, hungry, or irritated by maindless chitchat he had to endure to get his coffee.
He sighed and scowled at his calculations. Then squinted. Numbers were still the same. Perhaps he should go back to break room for a dose of chitchat with Blaise? If he gets properly annoyed by whatever topic gets hurled at him, perhaps it could tip the scales and fix whatever happened to his numbers. Or not.
Mani closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Then he resolutely pressed that One Big Red Button his predecessor said never to touch unless quote calculations show shitfuck is gonna happen end quote. At that time he thought that using a word like shitfuck in professional setting was a sure sign that old codger is ripe for retirement. Even feeling lucky that he was at the right place at the right time to get this easy, monotonous, reliable, non exciting post at the bottom of the pyramid. And now...
He leaned back and slumped in his chair with a sigh. All he can do now is wait for those managers from above to come down and enter override codes to open isolation chamber where measuring instruments were placed in strictly regulated environment. Perhaps there's some tear and wear in the wires. Perhaps the world is round and spinning wildly through the night.
He sighed again, which established his new record on sighs, and picked up his mug. At least he have his coffee. He can wait. All he can do anyway, is to wait.