My grandmother was the reason I got into comedy.
Wait. I am talking? Is this first person pov? Well, anyway…
Grandma wanted to become a comedian herself but her husband, my grandpa, wanted her to do house work. So she gave up on her dreams but when the old man died, she decided to finally follow her passion.
But she was already very old at that time. She had lost all her teeth. I asked her to wear dentures, but she refused. She was afraid her natural beauty would tarnish if she wore dentures. All she had was wrinkles and a sore back as her natural beauty though.
Nevertheless, without her teeth, she went on to pursue comedy.
I found her hilarious. She could make jokes at anything. She was the one who gave me my name as well. Racis T. She found it funny and rebellious. I was too young to understand but later on, this name posed problems for me.
But for me, she was the best comedian in the world. I was sure she would make a great career in this.
I was five years old when grandpa died and the very next day, grandma went to perform on stage. She only mourned her husband's death for only one day and that 'one' day was the day when he had died.
I was also present there and just as she stepped on the stage, everyone started laughing. She hadn't even said anything and people were already laughing.
They laughed because without her teeth, grandma looked comical.
Her first show was a hit even without her saying even a single word and after that, she got more shows.
All she had to do was get on stage and people would laugh on their own.
One time, an audience member asked her, "How do you eat, granny?"
Then my granny replied, "Flap, flap, flap." with her mouth flopping up and down.
The whole venue erupted in laughter. Heck, even I laughed. I knew she was trying to say something but flap-flap was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
The flap-flap joke was an instant hit, which wasn't a joke at all, and my grandma became famous around the comedians. She got some money as well but she spent it all on my education.
Her career was just starting to bloom. She even got a nickname for herself. People began calling her, 'The Toothless Fairy.'
But after a few more shows, she vanished from the comedy world.
The reason was, she wasn't happy with how things were going.
Instead of becoming a comedian, she became a joke.
People were not laughing because of her, they were laughing at her. She wanted people to laugh at her jokes. She wanted to show her skill as a good writer. Not as a flap-flap queen.
In the end, she gave up on her dream. She should have tried earlier when she was young and beautiful. She should have rebelled against her husband and pursued her passion. She shouldn't have waited for the right time and I personally think she should have worn those dentures.
After losing all hopes for herself, she transferred all those hopes to me. She knew I also liked comedy and so when I just started college, she began writing a book.
In that book she wrote everything she knew about comedy. How to make jokes, how to interact with crowds, how to ease a cold audience. She imparted all her knowledge of comedy—whatever she had gathered by watching shows and reading other books—in that book and when I finished my college, she gifted me that book of… ten pages. Yes, ten pages. She only had that much knowledge?! For ten pages, she wasted her last days of life.
In spite of everything, I kept that book and read it daily before sleeping. And after giving me that book, she demanded a promise from me that I will become a successful comedian and achieve what she couldn't. After that, she died and I was finally without any family.
I should have at least made a girlfriend but as it turned out, I was quite undesirable for most women. They say 'If you can make a girl laugh, you can kiss her.' So I made one laugh and kissed her, but she slapped me. They should have also said, 'Only make those girls laugh who you know well.' I had made a stranger laugh and no, not by any joke, while walking, I fell down and she started laughing, so I kissed her.
Anyway, even if my grandma hadn't made me promise her, I was already going to become a comedian. I would get money, girls and fame. Everything my grandma wanted except the girls of course. She wanted boys. Anyway, most importantly, I wanted to achieve this dream while I still had my teeth.
So, I stopped studying after college and started my hustle to become a comedian. I posted my videos on social media but they all got taken down. People were reporting those videos. I was just reciting the jokes that my grandma had left behind in her book.
Later, when I studied the craft more, I found out that my grandma's jokes were dark. Very dark. People find them offensive and hence, they report my videos. But I just couldn't let those jokes go. Those were my grandma memories. And she only taught me such jokes. I can't write anything light-hearted. She taught me how to write dark jokes in her book of ten pages as well and that was the memento she left behind so I decided that I will make sure that she is heard and her jokes reach to the end of the world.
From then on, I stopped posting videos on social media and went on to perform at various clubs, live. I cracked jokes after jokes but instead of laughter I only received scowls. The people weren't good at taking such jokes. And then there was my name as well. Racis T. T stands for Tate by the way. Regardless of anything, people thought I was a racist. But I didn't give up. Though, the club owners gave up on me. They threw me out as I was making problems for them. They gave me my puny fees and let me go.
Then, I came up with an idea. I will do shows for free. A comedian who charges nothing to perform will make the club owners happy and their club might bloom as well. So after implementing this idea, I got shows again at various venues like clubs and cafes.
But I forgot, changing the venue doesn't mean the audience would change as well. The customers didn't laugh at my jokes at all and I was beaten on many occasions as well. I was once performing at a birthday party and I said a joke like, "What is the difference between a birthday party and a funeral?" Then I revealed the answer : "In funerals, people are actually happy as they have one less mouth to feed now."
After that, I woke up in a hospital.
Anyway, after such losses, I made another plan. I will only perform in less popular clubs now. The clubs where they could never afford a comedian.
So I searched for such clubs and I found one. It was called : "Biker's Sanctuary."
And you already know what happened after that. Optimus Prime slayed another enemy.
Right now, I don't know what I am but I still have some conscience to remember all these memories.
I certainly have no idea what will happen to me, but if there is an afterlife I would like to fulfill my grandma's and my dream in another world.
And this time, no hookers. I would like to feel some real love too.
Yeah, that would be nice. A successful comedian and a wife. Life would be smooth like that.
Of course, if there really is an after life.
Hmm? My consciousness seems to be fading… Will I go to hell or heaven? Well, if I can meet dead people now then I wish to go where Sophia Leone is. She died recently as well. So I would like to meet her, you know, for reasons..
The next second.. My mind went full blank and the next thing I know, my face was against something soft. I was sucking something.
Was my wish granted? Was it Sophia Leone or…
Ah.. Nevermind, I got reborn.
One of my wishes is granted, at least.
I am in another world.