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I'm Just an Ordinary Guy! Nothing Else! [Scott Pilgrim x Male Reader]

Ovegain
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Synopsis
You've been doing alright for the past couple of years. You have great friends. You're pretty good at your living situation. No drama. No nothing. No anything. But what if I said all of that bullshit to get your attention? Come and kiss my ass as you go on to get the most bullshits of the bullshits! You'll stick around with a dick up in your ass!

Table of contents

Latest Update1
Prologue5 days ago
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Chapter 1 - Prologue

*Alarm Noises*

"If you don't wake up, I'll eat your ass voraciously, stupendously, eagerly, raviciously, agrueably delicious fatass I've ever seen in my entire life GYAT DAMN-"

*Alarm Noises*

*Click*

Y/N: "..."

Why did I buy this stupid alarm again...?

Right...

Because I'm broke as fuck. I got no money left. Got no nothing. Got no anything... Hey that rhymed...

Haaaaa... What am I gonna do without the Wifi... I need it so I can watch my daily routine of porn-

*Knocking*

Y/N: "..."

Y/N: "Whoever's out there, if you've come for something else entirely with dark intentions, I am not paying my taxes!"

???: "Y/N! It's just me, your buddy gal Sophie!"

Y/N: "Oh..."

Sophie: "Can I come inside, please? It's freezing out here!"

Y/N: "Sure, just don't mess around my place too much..."

(Sophie Palmer)

Sophie: "Do I do that more so often?"

Y/N: "Yes. Yes, you do mess my place up more so often. Along with that gay friend of yours..."

Sophie: "What about Wallace?"

Y/N: "Uh..."

FLASHBACK

[Julie's 54th Party, In Y/N's House For Some Apparent Reason]

Wallace: "Hey there stranger~, what'cha doing over here by your lonesome?"

Y/N: "No, I'm not having sex with you, Wallace."

Wallace: "Eh, it was worth a shot."

...

...

...

Wallace: "Anyways, I'm gonna make out with you and touch you all over and then I''m gonna get FREAKY with you."

Y/N: "What-"

[30 Seconds Later of Puking]

Wallace: "C'mere Daddy, give me some love~."

He's drunk.

Y/N: "OH GOD! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

END OF FLASHBACK

Sophie: "Wasn't that like yesterday when it happened?"

Y/N: "It was? Huh... I guess it was."

Sophie: "So... You guys had sex?"

Y/N: "Like hell! When did you get the idea that I had sex with that gay best friend maniac of yours?!"

Sophie: "Because he's right next to you in bed."

Y/N: "...Huh? What did you say?"

Wallace: "No need to explain. We did have sex."

Y/N: "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-"

Sophie: "Before you go BEAST mode, I just have one thing to say is that...

[Puts her hand on your right shoulder]

I'm glad that you finally came out-l of your closet-

Y/N: "OI! YOU LOOKING FOR A FIGHT OR SOMETHING?!"

Wallace: "Oh chillax there huzzy buzzy." / "Y/N: "Huzzy Buzzy...?"

Wallace: "It's not like we actually did the deed."

Y/N: "Then why are YOU HOLDING YOUR BUTT LIKE SOMEONE JUST POUNDED IT TO OBLIVION!...AH..."

Sophie "So you guys did go crazy on each other..."

Wallace: [Smirks.] "I'm going to tell this every one of our friends that you pegged me to death~. Toodles~." [Runs away.]

Sophie: "And there he goes..."

Y/N: [Fuming.] "WALLAAAAAAAAAACCE!"

End of Prologue.

You're gay now.