Xavier Candlelight stared at the ceiling for a while before opening his eyes, as he did every morning. His small, dark room was cold and silent, even in the early hours of the morning. The faint light seeping through the ajar window curtain merged with the thin mist that accompanied Winchester's gloomy mornings.
The wooden floor creaked slightly as he sat up in bed and placed his feet on the floor. The house was still silent. His mother was probably in her room, awake but with no intention of getting up.
His father... He wasn't here anyway. He disappeared for months, sometimes years. Xavier had been used to his father's absence since he was a little boy, but getting used to it didn't mean accepting it.
He pulled on a thin sweater and left his room. As he walked down the long corridor, he paused for a moment and glanced at the door on his left. Elliot must still be asleep. His little brother was the only thing that kept him alive in this house. Xavier tiptoed into the kitchen.
The kitchen was small but tidy. He put the kettle on and put the slices of bread on a plate. As he sat by the window looking out onto the grey streets of Winchester, his thoughts inevitably drifted to his father and mother.
His father was a soldier. A man who acted like a stranger every time he came home, didn't say much, stayed a few weeks at most and then disappeared. For Xavier, his father was just a silhouette in uniform. He probably remembered his face best from the faded photographs in his mother's hand. But the real problem wasn't his father's absence, it was what his absence had done to his mother.
His mother... She was said to have been a beautiful woman in her youth, but Xavier always remembered her as pale, tired and fragile. The constant absence of his father had made her more and more withdrawn, apathetic and moody. He spent most of his time in bed in his room. He rarely looked at Xavier and Elliot, saying a few words indifferently and sometimes shouting angrily. Xavier wasn't even sure if he felt sorry for him anymore.
As his thoughts drifted away, a faint whistling sound came from the kettle. He poured the tea into the cup and took a sip. Then he noticed the small silhouette appearing outside the kitchen door. Elliot looked at him and rubbed his eyes.
"Are you awake?" Xavier asked, smiling at him.
Elliot nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. Xavier poured him a cup of tea and put it in front of him. Xavier looked carefully at his tired face as his little brother warmed the cup with both hands. Elliot was still very young, but he could already feel the stifling air of this house.
One of his main goals was to give his brother a better life. His brother was very important to him. He had been on his own before, but after his brother was born, he had become his friend.
"Shall we go for a walk together after school today?" Xavier asked, trying to change the subject.
Elliot looked up and smiled slightly. "Really?"
Thanks to his older brother, Elliot was able to go out once in a while. He usually stayed at home because his mother didn't take care of him.
"Sure," Xavier said. "Maybe we could go down to the river. We could go to the bookshop."
Elliot's face lit up even more. "Can we get a new story book?"
Xavier was happy to see his little brother's excitement. "Maybe, if you're good."
He looked out of the kitchen window, watching the narrow streets disappear into the old stone buildings of Winchester. This city was only a way station for him. One day he would leave here, take Elliot with him and get away from this house, this life. But that day had not yet come. For now, his little brother's smile was more important than anything else.
Xavier sipped his tea as he watched his brother's joy. Elliot's innocent excitement lifted the gloom of this house for a few minutes. But such moments were always short-lived. For sooner or later the truth would return.
Footsteps from the corridor broke the silence in the kitchen. Xavier took a deep breath without taking his eyes off Elliot. His mother must have woken up. As the voices approached the kitchen, he secretly wished that something was wrong. But it wasn't long before Xavier's hopes were dashed when his mother entered the kitchen, wearing an old dressing gown, her hair dishevelled and her usual bored expression on her face.
She looked almost surprised at their presence in the kitchen. Her eyes darted to Xavier, then to Elliot. She hesitated between saying something and finally, with a deep sigh, she turned to the cupboard.
"What's all that noise in the morning?" he grumbled.
Elliot's shoulders slumped noticeably. His small hands gripped the teacup tightly. When Xavier noticed his brother's reaction, his protective instinct kicked in.
"We were just having breakfast," Xavier said as calmly as he could.
His mother was taking something out of the cupboard, but she didn't seem to know what she was doing. Her movements were slow, she looked thoughtful. Xavier had noticed more of these moments lately. Sometimes she would sit in the same place for hours, staring into space. Then she would suddenly get angry and take it out on them.
His mother put water on the stove to make coffee. There was a thick silence in the kitchen. Elliot concentrated on his cup of tea, trying to be invisible. Xavier watched him for a while, trying to gauge his mother's mood.
"When's Dad coming back?"Elliot asked suddenly.
Xavier froze for a moment. The question cut through the silence in the kitchen like a knife. Xavier's chest tightened because he knew the answer, but he didn't want Elliot to hear it.
His mother looked over her shoulder. Her eyes were tired, but there was a hint of anger in them.
"Why do you ask?" she said in a cold voice.
Elliot bowed his head. "It's just... he hasn't been back for a long time."
The woman stirred her coffee with an indifferent expression."He's a soldier. He has a mission,'" she said nonchalantly. Then she looked at Xavier. "And don't let him bother me with his ridiculous questions."
Xavier's teeth clenched. He didn't answer, just stroked Elliot's head, trying to make him feel safe. But he could see the disappointment in Elliot's eyes.
His mother took her coffee and walked out of the kitchen. A quiet but heavy air followed her. Elliot pursed his lips and set his cup down on the table.
"Dad's never coming, is he?" he asked in a whisper.
Xavier hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to lie to his little brother, but it hurt to tell the truth as it was.
"Maybe one day," he said with a forced smile.
Elliot nodded, but Xavier knew he didn't believe it either. There was a pain in his little brother's eyes that a boy of that age shouldn't feel.
Xavier took a deep breath and got up from the table. Go and get ready. We don't want to be late for school.
As Elliot walked silently to his room, Xavier turned to the window. Outside were the narrow stone streets of Winchester. The air was still hazy, the wind gently rippling the curtains.
One day they would leave this house. He would get Elliot out of here. But until that day, all he could do was give his brother hope.
No matter what, he would not leave him.