CHAPTER NUMBER 8
I reached my home but it felt weird. As soon as I opened the door, there was something like a sudden gust of darkness which blew past me. My house which I felt the most comfortable in and the atmosphere which would always make me happy seemed different.
There was this uneasy feeling of something bad had entered and the cozy vibe which it would give was almost gone, It was the first time I didn't feel good to enter my own house, It was the first time it didn't felt like home but there was one thing which was the same, the bed, the bed was the only thing which was not affected by it, I don't know if the bed looked welcoming because how I tired I was, if my mind was playing tricks on me but the safest things in the whole apartment was that bed at that time.
I didn't wash up before going to sleep and directly laid down on the bed, it was same as last time, the pain and slight fever I had been feeling for the whole day went away instantly as I laid down, I started to doubt it this time,
"How can this be? last time I thought it was due to exhaustion that when I laid on the bed, my pain, fatigue and the fever I had been feeling went by but it happening twice in a row is suspicious, I didn't even work that much today,"
While I was contemplating this, trying to figure it out, my eyes started to close, I was already sleepy, It been almost three days since I have been feeling like that, it was also one of the things which was bothering me, my eyes started to close on its own slowly until I eventually fall asleep.
subconsciously, even if I had thought to not immerse myself in thoughts tonight and go to sleep, my mind started to function on its own, remembering the day, contemplating the bed situation and eventually falling asleep with all that going inside my head.
There I was once again in these vivid, almost real situations but this time it was slightly different, I was not experiencing something through a random person eyes but it was me, I was in a past memory of mine, I thought that this time it was normal, everyone has these types of dreams, but it was not.
***
I was 17 years old in this event, it was showing me the time when I met Mr. Lock, I was walking along the street looking weak, very weak for a boy my age, when I heard a voice directed toward me to stop.
"Hey! Hey you, the weak kid."
I still remember the voice clearly, it was a voice of an energetic old man, who was only old at age but young at heart and body, I looked around to see who was calling me when I saw an old man, in about his sixties, standing in front of a noodle shop, wearing an apron, cleaning around the shop after work hours.
I asked the old man if he was calling me by pointing at myself.
"Me?"
He then only said one thing, didn't ask why I was outside so late, didn't ask why I looked so weak but just said,
"Yeah you! I have some spare noodles left which I would throw away because it's extra, if you are hungry you can eat it, I won't charge you."
I was really hungry as I didn't get any job that day and would even settle for half a slice of bread so I immediately said yes and entered his shop.
As soon as I put my foot into his shop, a gust of warmth embraced me as if I had entered someone's home, not a shop. I felt peace, comfortable, safe, happy. It was a small shop but it made a huge impact on me.
I sat down and after a while Mr. Lock brought me a bowl of fresh n hot noodles, when I took the first bite wasn't it only incredibly delicious, it had something which I hadn't felt for a long time, it had love, it wasn't made with the intention to serve it to someone as food but it was made with the intention to make the eater of the dish happy.
Tears started to form in my eyes from how it felt, I controlled myself to not look like a cry baby, I started eating it as if it was a competition, I would take bite after bite even if my mouth was full, I kept taking bites.
Mr. Lock who sat down beside me, smiled seeing me enjoy it and said,
"There are still some left noodles left, if you want more don't be shy to say it."
I nodded my head while eating my hearts out. That night I ate three big bowls of noodles without a break.
As soon as I finished eating, I got very sleepy, the environment was so pleasing that I forgot I was at a random stranger's shop but I was so exhausted, the warmness of the place made me feel safe, my eyes started to close on its own and before I knew it I fall asleep, just like that didn't ask the owners name nor did he asked mine.
The next morning I woke up in a bed with a blanket place over me, I was confused to as where I was, my stuff which was a backpack with my books was beside me, I grabbed my backpack and went out the only door which was there, as I opened the door there were stairs leading down a floor, when I walked down it was the shop, it seemed that the above room was the bedroom of the owner.
When I walked down, I saw a few customers and the owner preparing their orders, when the customers saw me they asked the owner about me.
Customer,
"Hey, lock who is that kid coming from upstairs."
Mr. Lock came out of the kitchen to see that it was me.
Lock,
"oh him, he's a kid who ate here yesterday, he was tired so I let him sleep here, his home is far away from here, you can go now."
I didn't know what to do so I just left, complying with his order, I again found myself standing outside his shop on the same night, he was cleaning outside the shop like last time, when he saw me he asked me the same question, as soon as he asked my eyes lit up, I was happy I got to eat his noodles again and ended up sleeping there.
This happened for three days, when on the third night I ended up asking a question which I didn't want to but I did.
I was eating when I asked him,
"Mr. Lock, please let me work for you, I will do anything, cleaning up, attracting customers, running errands, I will do it all but please let me stay here and work for you, I will sleep in the shop, please."
I looked at him with eyes filled with hope, but the reason he accepted my offer was,
"I will keep you but you have to promise me one thing you won't do anything reckless and stay the way you are."
When he said yes, that was the happiest and greatest moment of my life but I was confused.
"Really, you will let me stay but what do you mean by staying the way I am?"
Me. Lock smiled at me,
"I mean you should keep your studies going, the first time when you came here, I accidentally saw inside you bag, which only had school books and some spare clothes, I knew that you not like other and you will make something of your life but that doesn't mean I won't ask you to do chores, you will have to help me out."
I nodded aggressively.
"Yes, yes, I will do everything you ask me and I will become someone who you won't regret taking in."
After that I started living with Mr. Lock.
Then I heard a voice it was the voice of Mr. Lock.
"Ah, I ended up taking him in. How am I going to take care of him? I shouldn't have done that."
I was confused how I was hearing this voice, Mr. Lock was sitting in front of me smiling, I looked around in confusion, when suddenly I was standing in front of my parents, at my parents' house.
I was back to my original form but not in reality.
My mom was standing in front of me, I was slightly happy to see her after so long but.
Mom while looking at me.
"Why did you have to be born?!"
That sentence buried the last bit of respect and love I had for my parents.
Mom,
"You were nothing but a nuisance to us and to our marriage."
Dad who was standing beside her,
"Yeah, if it hadn't been for you our marriage wouldn't have ended like this."
I was standing in front of them listening to them saying all of this to my face.
I started speaking with my voice trembling with sadness,
"You are saying it's my fault, you are saying that I am at FAULT, you were the ones who had me, did I say that you guys should have me, in fact you guys were who abandoned me and after ruining my life you guys are saying that I shouldn't have been born, you know what I wish that I wasn't born."
Tears were falling from my eyes as I was saying this to them but the reply I got.
Both,
"We also wish the same."
I was shocked to hear this, and suddenly I was transferred once again.
This time I saw Mr. Lock sitting in his shop saying,
"It looks like I gave him too much care that I forgot to take care of myself."
A horde of emotion came to me hearing this.
"It looks like I will end up dying before I want to, I guess doing this kindness will end up harming me."
"No No it can't be this is all just an illusion, yeah I am in a dream these are all made up, none of this is real."
Once again, I was transferred.
Mr. Lock laying on his deathbed I was standing in front of him with tears pouring out from what I have just heard.
Suddenly Mr. Lock started speaking.
"Ainmosni, remember this, one of the causes of my death is taking you in."
Tring Tring, alarm clock ringing,
"HAH, HUH, HAH, HUH, HAH, HUH."
I woke up from the nightmare of a thing that was.
Tears weren't coming out of my eyes, they were already dried up, hiccups were there, my chest filled with pain.
My voice filled with sadness, pain, sorrow.
"Why, why is this happening to me, why am I going through this pain, what sin have I committed, what wrong have I done, I know all of this isn't real but but.."
I cooped myself, brought my knees close to my chest putting my head down, and drowned myself in pain.
But then I remembered, just moments before when I suddenly woke up, I heard the voice again, the same voice which came in my vision, that sinister laugh, the laugh of someone recognizable.
That was the laugh that made my sorrow and sadness turn into frustration and anger. I knew that all of this wasn't happening on its own but someone was doing it to me.
***