Dear diary,
Not really knowing being able to Express how you really really feel can be frustrating. You can't decipher your feelings in detail but the second you feel disappointed toward yourself, you quickly recognise that feeling..it's familiar and that's not all frustrating because you know the feeling. Ig comes with depression, anxiety, and fear.
Intense isolation is my thing now.
But...I didn't always want to be alone and in my own space. I loved playing with others...socializing? Not so much cause I was so shy...like very very shy but once I get comfortable..I'm a force to be reckoned with.
I was an only child..and being an only child my cousins were the only siblings I had at that time and could play with.I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things with others...like talk or play for long....the only friends I had were my cousins...yeah...my family members. I come from an extended background...My Dad's mom gave birth to 10 children(nine boys and one girl)but lost one boy after birth.
I had few friends due to school...well I wouldn't call them friends, maybe playmates but I had one 'friend'.
#Prolly... 2005#
So, being an only child has its perks. I didn't share anything with anyone. I wasn't worried about anyone using my things unless I gave it out. Now you'd think that's cool and all that but it's not...I wanted to share...share food...clothes...anything.
Yeah and the bad side of being the only child, I was being watched by my parents 24/7. I had no space..no privacy. My parents are very over protective ...I understand but still. Wasnt very fun for me though.
We lived together in a one bedroom apartment for about 15 years before my dad expanded it to a two bedroom cause I was growing and I'm also a woman...you get it.