-11 February 2025-
Brakk!
The sickening crunch of a punch echoed through the cold alley.
"Come on, Ryusei. Don't be a coward." A man's voice cut through the silence, laced with mockery and malice. "You were acting so smart before. What happened, huh?"
Laughter erupted around me as I staggered backward, tasting the coppery tang of blood trickling from the corner of my mouth. Before I could steady myself, another fist slammed into my face. The impact sent me crashing to my knees, the rough pavement scraping against my skin.
A heavy boot pressed down on my foot, twisting painfully. I groaned but bit my tongue to keep from crying out.
"You. Are. Just. A. Trash. High school drop-out," the man spat, each word laced with venom. "Never disobey me!"
Another one crouched down, his breath hot against my bruised face. "You're fired," he whispered, his voice like a dagger, before driving his foot into my gut one last time.
Laughter. Mockery. Fading footsteps.
And then-silence.
I lay there, staring up at the dull gray sky as snowflakes drifted down, landing gently on my battered face. My body ached, but the pain wasn't the worst part.
"Damn... it always ends up like this," I muttered, the taste of blood mixing with the bitterness in my chest.
After a while, I forced myself up, my limbs screaming in protest. I stumbled to a nearby faucet, splashing cold water on my face, watching as streaks of red swirled down the drain. My reflection stared back at me in a cracked mirror-eyes hollow, face swollen.
Pathetic.
Dragging myself home, I pushed open the door to our small apartment. The warmth inside contrasted with the freezing cold outside, but it did little to ease the heaviness in my chest.
"I'm home," I called weakly.
Keiko's soft voice floated from the kitchen.
"Oh? You're home early. Didn't you say you'd be working overtime tonight?"
Even now, her voice had that same calming effect on me. But this time, it only made the ache worse.
"Well... I-I'm..." I struggled to find the words.
Then she stepped out of the kitchen-and her expression immediately changed.
"Oh my god, Ryusei! What happened?" she gasped, rushing toward me.
I forced a chuckle, trying to brush it off. "I'm sorry, Keiko. I got fired again... and beaten up. Haha."
Her frown deepened. She hated when I laughed things off like this.
Before she could say anything, a sharp voice cut through the room.
"It's because you're incompetent and stupid."
I turned my head. Rin stood in the hallway, arms crossed, eyes cold.
"Rin! Don't talk to your father like that," Keiko said, her voice firm but gentle.
Fujiwara Rin. Fifteen years old. My daughter.
She used to look up to me once. But now? She only looked at me with resentment.
"What should I say, Mom? Praise him?" Rin scoffed. "He deserves what he got." Her eyes burned with disgust. "I don't even understand why you chose to be with someone like him."
Her words hit me harder than any punch I'd taken in that alley.
My hands clenched into fists.
"What did you say? Say it again!" I barked, storming toward her, rage boiling inside me.
Rin didn't flinch. She didn't back down. "Useless dumbass," she spat.
Slap!
The sound cracked through the room. But it wasn't Rin who had been hit.
Keiko stood between us, shielding our daughter. My hand had landed on her face instead.
A bruise was already forming on her lip.
"Mom! Are you okay?" Rin cried, rushing to her side.
I froze. My hand still hovered in the air.
What... what had I done?
Keiko's eyes-those kind, gentle eyes-weren't filled with anger. Just disappointment. And somehow, that hurt even more.
"Don't you dare come near her!" Rin screamed, shielding her mother from me like I was some kind of monster.
Maybe I was.
Rin looked at me in the eyes, her voice cold and unwavering as she said, "I wish you were gone."
I took a shaky step back. Then another. Then I grabbed my coat and stormed out of the apartment without a word.
Outside, the snow had started falling heavily, covering the streets in a thick, white blanket. My footsteps crunched against it as I walked aimlessly, my mind drowning in a whirlpool of emotions-guilt, regret, anger, despair.
"Rin's right," I muttered. "I'm just a useless dumbass."
Every memory of my life played like a cruel movie in my head. The stupid decisions. The failures. The pain I caused Keiko and Rin.
All of these mess... When did it start?
What if...
What if I had done things differently?
What if I had studied harder? Gotten a real job?
What if I hadn't played that stupid truth-or-dare game with Junpei?
What if... I hadn't messed with Keiko?
The thought lingered in my mind, heavy with guilt and longing.
The snowstorm grew fiercer, but I barely felt the cold anymore. My steps slowed, my legs trembling.
Maybe... it'd be better if I just disappeared.
I sank to my knees, the icy wind cutting through my skin.
"Maybe I'm better off dead," I whispered.
I closed my eyes, letting the snow swallow me whole.
And for the first time in a long while, I felt... peace.