"...You've made such a mess! Who's going to clean it all, huh?!" Mei shouts.
"...Wei will! She's behind most of it!" Cei screeches.
"...Lies! It was Cei! I swear!" Wei weeps.
Scooping one more spoonful of the warm soup and slurping it, I press on the ad, which brings me to a weird website.
Indeed, it's a game.
As I'm reading the description, I get more and more invested.
Log in to claim a free character pull!
Build your kingdom with immemorial jade beauties!!
Triumph over the demonic dungeons for wealth and glory!!!
Become the hero of our story now!
Reading further, I reach the bottom of the page. There's a huge, shiny download button in the hands of a cute maid.
But when I press it, a survey pops up.
1: Is all life equal?
No Yes —
What kind of question is this out of nowhere? Maybe it's not a game, but some secret government shenanigans.
I should've known not to indulge my curiosity.
But I can't exit the questionnaire. No matter which button I press or how many times I tap the screen, the message doesn't change.
Do I have no option but to answer?
"...Nooo!!! Don't touch our castle!"
"...Mean! Mom is so mean!!!"
I mean… I don't have much to do.
It says question number one, which posits the chance of numerous following questions.
What will await me in the end? Do all the games nowadays force you into a survey?
Curiosity takes hold of me. I reread the question.
1: Is all life equal?
No Yes —
Three options. The first is disagreement. The second is for agreement. At last, the third is for neutrality or avoidance. Presumably.
Equality? Hmm… This is a tricky question. It asks whether one life holds more value than another.
But… how do we go about determining the value?
From what they possess? No. Wealth, for example. What is the use of wealth for a dying man?
Even eternity. What is the use of eternal life for a man desiring death?
It's hard to discern the value of matter too.
Water is a calamity for a drowning man, yet it is a necessity for a thirsting man.
On the other hand, what if the drowning man wants to drown, and the thirsting man wants to wither?
So, is there a universal value that we can attach to things?
2: Is there no absolute truth?
No Yes —
What a weird question. What is the truth of things? Is there such a thing as an absolute truth? Hmm…
The truth…
Beauty, let's say. Beauty is generally considered to be an excellent quality…
Yet does this always hold true?
For example, a carpenter ignores an ugly tree. Its ugly qualities save it from being cut.
Now, with all the supposedly beautiful trees dead, who can say it's atrocious? Who is to say it's useless?
The dead cannot talk. The wooden house cannot speak.
In the end, the one remaining tree cannot talk either. Is it beautiful? Is it ugly?
If a man sleeps in a damp place, his back will ache, and he will end up half-paralyzed. But does that apply to a loach?
If a loach lives in a tree, he is terrified and shakes with fright. But is this true of a monkey?
Of these three creatures, then, which one knows the proper place to live?
3: Is there no good and evil?
No Yes —
What is good, and what is evil? My mind is clouded with uncertainty.
Why is the survey so overly complex? Or am I overthinking?
Good? Evil? Ha…
For a man, the death of a pig is inconsequential, while the death of a dog is aggravating.
What makes the dog more precious than the pig?
Why is the slaughter of countless pigs considered a norm, yet the death of a single dog mournful?
Why is one good, the other evil?
For a man, the death of an old man is saddening, while the death of a young girl is insufferable.
What makes the girl more precious than the man?
Why is the slaughter of countless men in wars considered a duty, yet the death of a single child sensational?
Why is one good, the other bad?
An old man proclaimed as a wise ruler will have people lament his death.
An old man proclaimed as a murderer will have people cry with joy at his death.
What if these two are the same person?
What if the wise ruler of his people is also the cruel murderer of others?
Does this make him an evil or a good person?
"...At-at-a— My ear! I'm sorry, I'm sowwy—"
I answer the questions one by one. It's been a while since I've given things this much thought.
…Does this quiz ever end?
6: Is there a meaning of life?
No Yes —
12: Is a government in need of absolute authority with an iron fist?
No Yes —
17: Is it foolish to be proud of one's country?
No Yes —
29: Is the primary function of schooling to nurture the future generation to find jobs?
No Yes —
Sigh… I think my phone is broken. This is definitely an interrogation of sorts, but I've gotten so far…
I want to see what happens after I complete the query…
The questions are becoming more specific and targeted. The first ones were way funnier and easier to respond to.
32: Is an individual depriving themselves of their lives under societal pressures committing a justifiable act?
No Yes —
Is life ever worth giving up on?
Few would color the world red for the slimmest chance to prolong it.
Is life ever a gift worth any?
Fewer still would wish they were never cursed to experience it.
Who among them has any right to speak of left and right or right and wrong?
Go left, and nothing will be right.
Go right, and nothing will be left.
33: What faction do you believe most resembles you?
Righteous Demonic Neutral
Oh, a different answer set?
"Hey!" I hear as something shakes my arm. I look at Mei's annoyed expression.
"I've been calling you again and again. Are you out of it?"
Huh?
I absentmindedly glance at the children beside her. At the girl with a freckled face, who has her head hung low, and the boy with folded arms, his face turned, a red handmark present on his cheek that he so desperately tries to hide.
"Hey! Are you fine?!"
Why would I not be? I nod my head. "What's happened? Why are you so worked up?"
Congratulations! You have a 100% alignment with the Demonic Faction!
Hmm? The survey finally ends. I didn't choose to be demonic, though. Weird. What now—
"Hey! Chua—"
You've been given a |Villain| Title!
A mechanical voice echoes in my head.
Her voice is light, soft, smooth, soothing, sweet, amiable.
Then why is it rough and bleak and bitter and noisy and nasty and— cruel, distant, and cold all the same?
"ARGHH!"
I scream my lungs out.
Painful! How agonizingly painful!
Gift |The Hero's Curse |A|| has been granted!
Damage against the players with |Hero| Title -50%
Gift |Reverse Plot Armor |S|| has been granted!
Luck Attribute -50%
Experience Gain -90%
Divinity Resistance -90%
I can feel my luck leave my body, the distance between me and the faraway divine entities furthering. The gods, whoever they may be, completely give up on me.
My nose bleeds.
I press my hands hard on my eyes, blinded by burning sensations.
The innards of my head melt. The pain. Unbearable. Unstoppable.
You've been chosen as one of the 72 Demon Lords to rule over the demons!
Race |Human |F|| has been promoted to |Demon Lord |S||!
For the perfect results in the survey, you've been chosen as one of the 7 Archdemons to rule over the Demon Lords!
Race |Demon Lord |S|| has been promoted to |Archdemon |SS||!
To suppress the pain, I bite my lip as hard as possible.
Forcing a smile right after, I lick the blood flowing down my nose.
Commencing Inauguration…
Commencing Pathway Selection…
Chapter 0. Walpurgis Night — Phase 0
"Chuan! Brother Chuan! Hold on! I'm calling the ambulance!"
"Uncle Chuan!"
"Uncle—"
Best of luck, Player.
To die!
This…
This— This is bullshit!
Is this how I die?!
"Chuan—"
Chuan…?
…
Who is… Chan?
…
…
Ah… I…
…
…
…
Who is… I?