Chapter 2 - CHAPTER 1

Can I say something? What is this feeling? I feel like my hands are small, I can't see because my eyes are too heavy to open but I can hear voices calling someone else's name. Am I in the hospital? Did they happen to save my life despite the bullet that damaged my brain? I don't understand.

I forced myself to open my eyes and to see what is around me. Its light, a strong light strikes my eyes. Some unknown people are looking down at me like a small puppy, and why are they even wearing weird clothes, are they cosplaying in the hospital or something?

"Acasia! Are you okay? Does your body still hurt?" A woman holds my face, she's obviously a maid because of her outfit.

Acasia? Who the fuck is that?

"Seems like she can't speak yet, Your Majesty." She glanced at the woman who's standing in the other side of the bed. She's beautiful.

Nevertheless, Are they roleplaying?

"Excuse me, but if you're roleplaying could you please not include me on this shit? I almost died a long time ago and you're doing some roleplay in front of me?" I frowned and tried to sit down, I hold my forehead because I suddenly felt dizziness.

I looked at them and they seem shocked, especially the woman who is wearing a ball gown.

"When did you learn to swear, Acasia?" She asked.

"I'm not Acasia, why are you calling me that?—" I got frozen when I saw my reflection on the mirror in front of me.

A teenager girl with a grey long hair, with a pearl white skin and with a perfect visual for a female reflecting on me. I looked at my hands and it is small than my usual hands, everything is beautifully slender. But who is that? That's not me.

"Acasia, I bet you're not still fine. Rest well and join me for dinner later." The woman turned her back on me.

"She might have lost her memory, Your Majesty." The maid whispered.

The woman looked at me with worried eyes. "I shouldn't have let her see her father after all." And she walked out completely.

What the fuck?

The maid walked back to me and bow a little. "If you lost your memory, that's understandable, Young Empress. The lightning strike possibly affected your brain, if you are still confused about everything, you can ask me." She looked at me with a cold eyes. Have she forgotten what she looks like when she tried to hold my face earlier? She looks like losing a job. "I'm Silva, I'm your personal butler with Sir Yumka that is still on his family vacation."

This is weird.

Now I think of it.

A smirked on my lips appeared, I covered my mouth to prevent myself from laughing but I ended up letting it out.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Young Empress..."

I looked at her. "Hey, didn't you say I'm Acasia?"

"Yes."

"Ah..." I lay down on my bed. "This is fun."

I started asking about my identy, my family and what our status. I ended up being the only daughter of a lone queen of the south, a lot of people despise her because of her strict management as a queen, my mother named Empress Geriah Aleichem. We live in a country where there's only one weather, and its winter. Everything you see is white, and everything you feel is cold, there's no warm except from the bonfire inside of the room. The maid said, my mother raised me alone after my father— Aleo Hembreio cheated on her, my father recognized me as his daughter but my mother can't even give me his surname, maybe because she despise him more than anything.

According to the maid, I still have connection to my father and once a year, I am scheduled to visit him. Last week is the scheduled week of visiting him but ended up in an accident that made my mother commit chaos, and now awful rumors about her is circulating still up to now. Maybe because she suspected that I was bullied by my father's children.

That's the short information about my parents. While me being an Acasia, according to the maid again, Acasia is such a joyful child, very extrovert and loves the villagers in town. In fact, the villagers is much closer to Acasia than their own Queen. Acasia mastered archery and martial arts since her mother is strict with her own safety. Since her mother receives a lot of death threat, the Queen can't help but to think that they will taeget Acasia too.

No wonder that my body is light and slender, very fit and sexy. Look at this hands, so slim, the fingers is very giving. God loves Acasia so much, they made her perfect.

"You okay now?" She didn't even looked at me.

"Well, yeah? I found that I lost my memory, but Silva already enlightened me some things." I sat down and looked at the dining table. There's a lot of foods just for the two of us.

"Don't visit your father again."

"Yeah, I agree." I nodded and drink a water.

She looked at me weirdly. "That's fast. I thought you're going to be stubborn again."

"Hmm, I just think that maybe you're this protective because you have your reasons. I can't blame you with that, you're still my mother. There's something that you know that I don't know, so what is the use of being stubborn, right?"

Wow, the chicken is fucking good.

"Now you're thinking much more mature now, I guess being struck with lightning is useful after all."

"Nah, that's bad." I looked at the maid on my back, they are only standing with their heads down and closing their eyes. So weird. I was reincarnated in a weird world. I prefer being a merchant than a noble or royalty, because based on the novels I've read, commoners has the most peaceful way of living because they are only extras, but of course, they are not safe in discrimination among nobles.

But still, I just want to be an extra.

Reign must be disappointed because I was reincarnated first than her.

"Wear this." Silva handed me a white scarf.

I immediately wore it and also gave me a fluffy headset like to cover my ears. I've never imagined that finally I can see snow now. I grew up in a tropical country in my past life so its understandable that I'm excited to experience the winter.

"It's unusual for you to go out at this time, Young Empress."

"Why?" I looked at her.

"You hate winter, aren't you?"

"Why?"

She frowned. "Because you hate the cold. That's also the reason why you are always excited to visit your father because their country is warm."

"Well..." I looked at the Palace gate from afar. "People change" I smirked and ran fast. I spread my arms and catch some snow, its fun than I expected.

Two male guards followed me, I started strolling around when I went outside. People that passing by started bowing at me while smiling, they even waves at me and greeted me happily. The maid tells no lies about this, maybe the old Acasia really like the villagers so much.

I tried to act like Acasia according to the maid's description about her. But my introvertness still hasn't disappeared despite of having new identity now, I feel awkward and I can't smile properly. I stutter much that make my voice tone rise up, they seems shocked of my way of talking but what can I do... I'm not Acasia after all.

The awkward, straight forward, and a nonchalant like me in my previous life is still here. I don't fear death, but I fear being sociable because I don't know how to interact with people properly. This personality of mine is also the reason why I hardly find a job before, and how hardly I build relationships with my colleagues. I hate this.

"Young Empress, are you stiff?" An old woman asked.

"N-No! I'm fine, don't mind me." Again, my voice rise up because of nervousness. I saw her became gloomy. "I'm not mad, it's just that... I can't control it." I said.

She smiled at me. "I know you're kind enough, Young Empress. Even if you get mad at us, it's okay."

Now, I feel guilty.

My trip is not good, other people started weary of me. Maybe because they can hear my voice raising up because of my awkwardness. This feeling is shit, am I this harsh? I mean, in my previous life most of the people around me doesn't care on how I speak and how I act around them but now, this is hard than I expected.

"Ah... this is annoying." I brush up my hair and put my one hand on my waist. "This is my first time being conscious about myself and it's frustrating."

"Maybe the villagers are still not used to your new self, besides they didn't know that you lost your memory, Young Empress." Silva said. "And you cannot please people, that's how their nature works. After being kind, they will see you like some kind of monster when you change without knowing the reason behind it."

"Monster?"

"I heard some people start calling you a monster behind your back, Young Empress."

I took a glance of people around me, they are all busy but I could feel their uneasiness and glances behind my back. I sigh and walked away. "It can't be helped, I'm not the Acasia they previously loved anyway."

Did I just ruined Acasia's image? I wanted to be reincarnated but not on this point where I can ruin someone else's image to the people they love. This is annoying, I better dead than living on this kind of life.

Early in the morning, Silva woke me up because my father paid a visit. At first, my mother run amok because she doesn't want that man to be in the Palace, but something changed her mind so I have to go there. I'm still wearing my night dress, I don't want to get dress without taking a bath so I came out like this. This is my habit ever since.

When I entered the room, guards from my Father's back bowed at me as well our own maids. After that, they looked dumbfounded while looking at me from head to toe. I took a glance with my Father who is sipping his tea... so this is my Father, he is pretty young and handsome, no wonder that Acasia is blessed in visual because her parents herself are beautifully made by God.

"Good morning." I greeted them and bow a little. I walked towards the chair in my mother's side. I sat and looked at my father who is smiling at me. Handsome but a fucking cheater, he deserves a kick in the ball.

"How are you, my Acasia?" He asked.

"I'm fine, father." I fake my smiled since Silva said, Acasia really likes her father.

"I got so worried about you, are you still going to visit me?"

"No... I'm never gonna do it again." My smile is gone. "Who's in their 18 still clings to their father's new family?"

His tea stop in the mid way and looked at me. "Excuse me?"

I smiled again. "What I mean is... I'm already 18 and I don't want to pay you a visit anymore especially if you have children to look for you, ain't you?"

"But you are still my daughter..." Its disgusting how he tried to make his voice more gentler like he is talking to a baby.

"I remain your daughter, that's a fact that I cannot change. My point is... I won't visit you anymore because I don't have any reason to do so." I rest my one arm in the chair hand and put my one hand on my legs. "That's not my family, you're my father but they're not my family. Why should I spend my time on your family's side while my mother is alone in this palace?"

"Acasia... you..." He whispered like he doesn't expect me to speak to him like this.

I looked at my mother and she is only listening while having a smirk on her lips.

"You even said that you're enjoying it more by being with us, Acasia."

"Uh, maybe I'm not on the right mind to say that after all."

Sorry, old Acasia. The one who got reincarnated to your body is an introvert, has foul mouth, who is insensitive, doesn't care about her surroundings and to the people who she meet. In short, your old life... I'll change it the way I am comfortable now like its mine because I realized that you're being naive when it comes to your Father.

I learned everything to Silva and how Acasia being jealous to her father's new family to the point that she clings to it and including herself as a family despite being neglected by her father's new wife. Her own mother trying to protect her but she keeps clinging to that disgusting family, even I can't take it but to disgust about it.

"Okay..." He dropped his tea. "Then, I guess you can still attend on my birthday tomorrow, right?"

I fakely smiled. "Of course, your birthday is a different matter to me, so it should be fine, right?" I looked at my mother.

"Do whatever you want." She responded.

"You heard it."

He sigh and drop a red envelope. "Tomorrow night at 8pm, it's a grand ball masquerade, I made it as a masquerade so that you can attend, Geriah." He looked my mother.

"Thank you for the consideration but don't expect me to attend."

I looked at my father after my mother respond to him. I suddenly froze on my seat and stared at my father's face. Woah, what's with that look? Am I seeing things? That's unexpected.

After that meeting, I looked at Silva who is walking beside me. I want to ask her but I wonder if she knows about it. I entered my room and my dress for today is already prepared. I went to the window and looked at my Father's carriage, that expression still lingering in my mind. Does my mother knows about it?

"Silva..." I uttered.

"Yes, Young Empress."

"Does my father really cheated with my Mother?"

She went silent, I looked at her and she is staring at me but then, she is the first one to avoid my eyes. "I'm not sure but there's a rumor before, that King Aleo's father doesn't like your mother so he forced your father to marry someone else in exchange for your mother's peaceful life. That's still a rumor that never proven because one day King Aleo started avoiding the Queen, and that's the reason why Queen Geriah assumed that he is cheating. The Queen sent some mean to confirm her guts, and when she received a news that the King is seeing someone else, they had a huge fight. Eventually, he ghosted her and a news started circulating saying that King Aleo is getting remarried again."

I nodded. "I see."

"That rumor is your reason why you clings to your father very much because you know that he doesn't want to leave you. Are you going to take back what you said earlier after knowing this again, Young Empress?"

"No." I looked outside again. "It's just unfortunate for them to be in this kind of situation. Rumor that is not proven yet... hm, I guess I already proved that today."

"Miss?"

"Like how can you show that kind of expression if you really cheated?"

"I don't get what you are trying to say, Miss."

"Its like he is looking to his ruined world that he still wanted to fix. Full of hopes but at the same time, he knows that it will never happen. So tragic." I said while looking outside the window. The wind is too strong.

My father's expression, looks like he is more miserable, full of pain, and lock inside the cage. Judging how calm he is when I first saw him, I thought he is really a jerk but everytime my mother speak, I could tell his uneasiness and his gazes looks like calling some attention. He wants to say what's on his mind but he couldn't, it is just like he is only taking responsibility of what he done.

That bad, if their lovestory is a novel... I bet a lot of readers will cry.

After walking outside, I met my mother in her office. I remain silent sitting and watching her until she spoke first asking how was my day, I answered her genuinely. A Queen without a King, so admirable because she can stand all by herself, but this Queen surely longing for her King too.

"Acasia, if you're going tomorrow, I want you to avoid his kids especially his wife. That bitch really testing my patience lately, enjoy your father's birthday as long as you can but avoid his family as much as possible."

Even my mother, she is not saying to avoid my father completely. She just doesn't want me to go there because of my father's family, not my father himself. They are easy to read, so interesting.

"Okay, mother." I smiled. "Should I bring gifts?"

She looked at me. "Do whatever you want."

"And put your name on it?"

"Acasia!" She glared at me.

I laughed. "Mother, what is wrong with it?"

"What's wrong with it? That's completely wrong, Acasia. We should respect his wife, even if that bitch is lacking some manners and respect, we should still respect her as your father's wife." She frowned. "I've never teached you to be disrespectful, but your attitude these days is far from usual. Even if you have an amnesia, learn to know your boundaries."

I smirked. What a noble Queen.

"Okay, mother!" I smiled again.

I give up, it's hard to fake a smile everytime I talk to someone.

In the evening, Silva started packing up my baggage because we will go on a trip tonight. My father's Kingdom is in the North so it will be a long ride. I looked at my mother up in the stairs watching me to leave, I bow at her and she just left without saying goodbye to me.

Now, I'm getting curious... what's my father's family looks like?