The girl grinned proudly. "I'm 10 right now, but in 8 more years, I'll be 18! And I'm sure I'll be cute and beautiful!"
Hazuki felt his soul leave his body. "Oi, stop saying weird stuff!"
The girl ignored him completely. "Then, Uncle, when I'm all grown up, you won't have an excuse anymore! You can't say I'm a kid then!"
Hazuki held his head. "That's not the issue here!"
The adventurers were dying of laughter, slapping their knees.
"PFFFT—SHE'S GOT A PLAN, SHITMAN! YOU'RE SCREWED!"
The girl kept going. "Oh! And by then, you'll be super strong, right? So I'll have a strong, cool, and rich husband!"
Hazuki choked. "WHERE DID THE RICH PART COME FROM?!"
"Well, you're already making money now! And if you keep fighting monsters, you'll make even more! Then we can live in a big house, and I won't have to help Mama sell bread anymore!"
Her mother covered her mouth, laughing. "My, my, what a bold little girl."
Hazuki felt himself getting dizzy. "Oi, lady, control your daughter!"
The mother simply smiled sweetly. "She's just expressing her dreams."
Hazuki was sweating now.
The girl continued, completely serious. "And don't worry, Uncle! I'll train hard too! I'll become strong and learn how to cook! That way, I'll be a good wife!"
Hazuki threw his hands in the air. "WHY ARE YOU PLANNING YOUR FUTURE AROUND ME?!"
The adventurers were rolling on the ground, crying from laughter.
"AHHH, SHITMAN! EVEN A KID HAS A BETTER LIFE PLAN THAN YOU!"
Hazuki collapsed backward, staring at the sky.
"…I give up."
The girl clapped her hands happily. "Yay! That means it's a promise, right?"
"NO, IT'S NOT A PROMISE!"
"Pinky promise?"
"No!" Hazuki tried hard to resist, waving his hands. "Oi, I'm not into kids!"
But then—
The girl's eyes welled up with tears.
Not crying yet.
Just on the verge.
Hazuki froze. "Ughh… this little—!"
Then, he felt it.
The intense stares from the adventurers.
The passengers.
Even the merchant.
All of them were now glancing at him.
Not laughing anymore.
Just watching.
Staring.
With serious faces.
Like he was some kind of villain.
Inside his mind, Hazuki screamed.
This girl is annoying! Does she not think that once she turns into an adult, she might find some handsome, charming guy better suited for her?!
Damn it!
The stares grew more intense.
Hazuki gritted his teeth.
His hand twitched.
And finally—
"Ugh! Fine!"
He reluctantly lifted his pinky.
The girl's face lit up instantly.
She wrapped her tiny pinky around his. "Pinky promise! You can't break it!"
Hazuki felt like he had just been scammed.
The adventurers cheered, clapping their hands.
"SHITMAN LOST! AHAHAHA!"
"DAMN, HE REALLY SEALED THE DEAL!"
The merchant snorted, shaking his head. "What a lucky guy."
Meanwhile, Hazuki just sat there, staring at his pinky like it had just ruined his future.
…How did this even happen?!
"My name is Ellyn! Nice to meet you!"
The little girl gave a graceful introduction, smiling brightly.
Hazuki stared at her, deadpan.
"THIS IS A LATE INTRODUCTION!"
The adventurers burst into laughter again.
"BWAHAHA! SHE MADE HIM PROMISE FIRST, THEN INTRODUCED HERSELF!"
"DAMN, SHE'S SMARTER THAN SHITMAN!"
Hazuki buried his face in his hands.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT SCAMMED BEFORE EVEN KNOWING HER NAME!"
Ellyn tilted her head. "What's wrong, Uncle? You look tired."
Hazuki groaned. "That's because I AM tired, damn it!"
Her mother, still watching, smiled warmly as she gently patted Ellyn's head.
"You've never talked this much to anyone before, Ellyn."
Ellyn grinned. "Because Uncle is funny!"
Hazuki felt his soul leave his body.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever… I'm sure you'll forget this anyway," Hazuki said casually, waving her off.
Ellyn puffed up her cheeks. "No, I won't!"
Hazuki chuckled tiredly. "Yes, yes, you won't. Let's see if that's true."
With that, he finally lay down on the back of the carriage, letting out a long sigh.
What a damn day…
Ellyn clenched her fists, determined. "Believe me, Uncle! I won't break that promise ever!"
Hazuki closed his eyes, smirking slightly. "Yes, yes… now, now, go sleep with your mother."
Ellyn pouted but finally stood up, walking over to her mother, who gently pulled her into an embrace.
As the campfire crackled softly and the adventurers kept watch, Hazuki slowly drifted off to sleep.
For now… he could finally rest.
Hazuki was sleeping peacefully, lost in the best kind of dream—one where he was rich, strong, and surrounded by beautiful women.
Then—
CLANG!
His eyes snapped open.
Huh? What's going on?
Before he could process, a loud voice yelled at him.
"Oi, Shitman! Wake up!"
Hazuki sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. "Huh?"
That's when he saw them.
Goblins.
The green-skinned little bastards were everywhere, snarling as they rushed the camp.
The adventurers were already fighting back, their swords clashing against crude goblin weapons.
And then—
Hazuki's eyes locked onto something.
A goblin lunging straight for Ellyn.
His body moved on reflex.
SHING!
His sword slashed through the air—clean and fast.
The goblin collapsed instantly.
Hazuki gritted his teeth, turning to the next goblin charging toward him.
He swung again.
And again.
His sword felt light—too light.
His movements were sharp, effortless.
But he didn't even notice.
Because the only thing running through his mind was—
"I'M NOT GONNA DIE TODAY!! NOT BEFORE I GET A REAL GIRLFRIEND!!"
"Ugh! Stupid goblins!! I WAS SLEEPING!"
Hazuki gritted his teeth, swinging his sword as he charged at the remaining goblins.
With each swing—THWACK! SLASH!—another goblin fell.
"HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY SLEEP?!"
One goblin lunged at him with a dagger.
Hazuki sidestepped and kicked it in the face, sending it flying into a tree.
"I WAS HAVING FUN IN MY DREAM, DAMN IT!"
He slashed another one down, breathing heavily.
"YOU SHITTY GREENISH FUCKS!"
The remaining goblins, now realizing this crazy human wasn't an easy target, started hesitating.
The adventurers, watching Hazuki recklessly charge forward, swinging like a madman, were stunned.
"Oi, since when did Shitman fight like that?!"
"Damn! He's actually useful?!"
Hazuki, too focused on his rage and sleep deprivation, didn't notice how naturally his sword was moving.
Hazuki kept swinging his sword, cutting through goblins left and right, his anger fueling his every move.
But what he didn't realize—
He wasn't just fighting normal goblins.
A towering figure lurked in the darkness, watching him with glowing red eyes.
A Goblin General.
But Hazuki, too mad to think, charged straight ahead.
"TWO THINGS IN LIFE YOU DON'T DISTURB ME DURING!"
"ONE—WHEN I'M EATING!" SLASH!
A goblin screeched as it fell.
"TWO—WHEN I'M SLEEPING!" WHAM!
He kicked another goblin away, sending it flying into a bush.
Hazuki gripped his sword tighter, eyes burning with rage.
"NOW YOU'RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR IT!!"
Like a madman, Hazuki threw his head back and let out a maniacal laugh.
"GYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Without hesitation—
Without thought—
Without even knowing what the hell he was actually fighting—
Hazuki leaped straight at the towering figure in front of him.
"EAT THIS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!"
With all his might—
SHLUNK!
He planted his sword straight into the Goblin General's head.
The Goblin General froze.
The other goblins stared in shock.
The adventurers watched in complete disbelief.
…
Did this crazy bastard just one-shot the boss…?
( End of Chapter )