I'm sitting in the bathtub feeling ashamed, she saw me moaning her name, I wonder what she must think of me, maybe she thinks I'm some kind of pervert who gets off masturbating in other people's homes.
I can't believe my first time feeling pleasure with a woman's body ended like this.
I get out of the bathtub and finish cleaning my body in the shower, after that I absolutely have to call Angelica.
I don't have any clothes or a towel, so there's no other choice, I go to the door and open it just a crack.
"ANGELICA..." I yell out her name, and after a few minutes she timidly appears.
"I-I need a towel..." I say shyly, trying my best not to be seen.
"O-Okay, I'll bring the towel and some clothes in just a moment" She quickly disappears, probably just as embarrassed as I am.
After a little while, she comes back with a towel and a shirt and skirt, I just reach out my hand and quickly grab them, closing the door in shame.
'Damn...my potential yandere just saw me masturbating with her on my mind...does that increase the chances of her being the yandere?' I hope not.
I use the towel to dry off quickly while putting on the previous panties since she wouldn't have given me any, that would just be too weird and even if she did, I wouldn't wear them.
Soon I see the clothes she brought.
"Damn...why is fate so cruel to me..." This outfit is probably Rose's or Azuli's, I say that based on the size and because it wouldn't make sense for Angelica with those proportions to have this smaller outfit.
There's no way this would ever fit those impressive boobs and hips.
But the thing is, Azuli and Rose don't have exaggerated proportions, they're just beautiful, nothing over the top.
And that's where the problem lies, I also have considerable proportions, I have large breasts although smaller than in the previous world, and a bit wider hips in addition to being a bit taller.
So as soon as I put on the skirt, it became short and the shirt became tight, accentuating my breasts so obviously that it makes it look like I'm purposely flaunting myself.
The skirt isn't absurdly short, but if I move quickly or carelessly, my panties become visible.
'Doesn't matter, I'll just wear this for today at most and tomorrow I'll go back to my own clothes...' I exit the bathroom feeling uncomfortable due to my breasts being squeezed by the shirt.
The bra isn't helping much either, even though it's mine, it's being tightened by the shirt.
I walk through the house, going to the front, and soon I see Angelica finishing up cooking.
"S-Shizune, you can sit at the table..." She's clearly embarrassed and won't even look at me.
'Doesn't she see anything wrong with a girl showing lust for another?' That's kind of strange, many people would find that disgusting.
I sit at the kitchen table, full of shame, this is so weird and uncomfortable.
She soon finishes making the food and starts serving us both, I wait calmly, trying not to show the shame, if I pretend everything's fine, eventually it will be.
If I make it uncomfortable, it'll never get better, we just need to forget this weird phase that momentarily happened.
She serves me a plate with rice and curry, the aroma of the dish spreads through the air, it's quite pleasant, showing that she's an excellent cook.
We both thank for the food and begin the dinner in silence, the taste is really very good, she made an incredible meal that actually cheers me up a bit.
"Shizune, I...want to talk about...that" I drop the utensils on the plate as the shame consumes me when I hear her mention it.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about hahaha" I try to make it clear that I'm uncomfortable with the subject and that I don't want to talk about what she saw, I'd rather we both forget about it.
She looks at me seriously.
"Shizune, there's no way we can just forget about that...you're a student and I'm your teacher, do you really think I, who have a duty to guide the next generation, can simply ignore the fact that you were..."
"Pleasuring yourself while thinking...of me" she says it with embarrassment, but still takes a step forward, confronting me about it.
"..." I remain silent, full of shame, she must think I'm a pervert, she invited me to her house and what I did was masturbate thinking about her.
But in my defense, I was just too curious about it, and once I started, I really lost track of time, and besides, I needed to be aroused to feel pleasure and since she is undeniably beautiful, she ended up being the choice.
"I know puberty can be difficult, and as a teenager your hormones are raging, but still, you shouldn't do that kind of thing, especially imagining your teacher" She starts lecturing me.
'Tsk, you're not my mother to talk about this...'
"Professor Angelica, I admit it was inappropriate for me to have done that in your home, but I'm 18 years old, I can very well decide what I can and can't do" My personality aspect speaks louder in this argument.
"This isn't about being of legal age, you're a student, you shouldn't be feeding sexual fantasies about your teachers!" She says reprimandingly, as if I were a child.
"You don't know anything to be saying that to me, you have no idea of my problems, I'm much more of an adult than you could ever imagine, and I don't see what the problem is in seeing you in a sexual way when you have a body like that"
My rebelliousness activates as if I were just a teenager, but everything I said is true, she has no idea how difficult it is for my mental health what I'm going through.
I think this was one of the few real moments of relief I've had, I was only able to feel calm near Alehandro, apart from the time I spent with him, I've never been able to have any peace or mental rest.
"T-This has nothing to do with my body, Shizune, you can't understand that it's not just because you're 18 that you're an adult"
"You've never faced the problems of society in a truly mature way to say that kind of thing" I get angry when she says I've never faced this kind of problem, when Shizune in this world has always been exposed to problems and had to mature early along with the me who has already lived through various lives.
"Y-YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HELL MY LIFE IS, YOU'RE JUST JUDGING ME BASED ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE JUST BECAUSE OF ONE STUPID SCENE!" I hit the table hard while yelling at her.
This is so unfair, no one can really understand my pain, dying and dying over and over again is unbearable.
Many might say that you can get used to it over time, but the point is not just dying and coming back, but what happens after, I mostly inherit things from the old world and the new one.
And this accumulates, causing an unbearable stress, I've literally had an accumulation of 4 lives, and from these lives I've inherited many things that have accumulated in my mind.
I inherited a bit of Himari's world memories, perfectly maintained Alehandro's world memories, Hiroshi's world memories, and now I've gained a ton of memories from this world.
Adding it all up with the memories of the first world, I easily carry over 50 years of memories.
Not to mention the personality aspects that add another burden to my mind.
Considering this, it's obvious that I can't have my mind 100% functional like other people, meaning I can easily have a temporary mental breakdown or something similar.
Just as I become more mentally sensitive and emotional due to the stress.
"Shizune, I'm not judging you, I just think you shouldn't nurture feelings for a teacher" She still tries to argue.
"You know what, and why couldn't I? To you, do I seem undesirable? Is that it? Do you think that being a teacher makes you untouchable to your students or something?"
"And if I weren't, but a student, would I be acceptable to you?" The way I'm arguing makes it seem like I'm someone who wants to convince her that I like her, when in reality it's more of a confusion.
I don't want a relationship, I just don't accept her talking about me that way.
"Shizune, that's not what I meant, you're not undesirable, it just doesn't seem right for you to have feelings for me" She manages to keep calm without any trouble, as a well-composed person.
"And if I wanted to, how would you stop me? With that lascivious body of yours that looks like it came straight out of a damn porn movie, do you think I'm the only student who masturbated while imagining you?"
"!!!" She seems embarrassed by the comparison.
"Shizune, watch your language, I'm your teacher, you can't make those indecent comparisons!!!" Her composure cracks slightly.
"Can't I? Hahaha and how would you stop me? You should know it was delicious to imagine those huge tits of yours swinging in front of me while you touched my body"
"What disrespect!!!"
"Disrespect? You haven't seen half of how disrespectful I can be if I want to, you who writes on the board swinging those juicy hips, do you think that doesn't draw attention?"
"Every time you turn to the class, those huge tits of yours look like they're about to burst the buttons of your shirt, I'm sure those breasts are so big that the button feels obligated to cover them"
"SHIZUNE, STOP NOW" She finally loses her composure, though it's hard to say if it's from embarrassment or anger.
"Make me stop, Busty Angelica"
"Why are you doing this? Why are you saying all these vulgar things to me? I just wanted to help you!...it's hard for me to hold back..." She speaks while taking deep breaths, she muttered the last part and I didn't hear it well.
"I...because..."
'Why am I letting my mind take over like this...damn it.' I messed up, I let everything out on impulse and now it'll be hard to fix this.
"S-Sorry Professor Angelica...I...just lost my composure for a moment...you're right, I shouldn't be saying that kind of thing" I bow in apology.
'Damn it...why do I have to be like this...' I let the mentality of this world dominate, and the mix of anger from this world's me with the me from the other worlds made me have the most stupid argument ever.
"I'll leave" I say, dying of shame for the bullshit I said.
"Wait...Shizune, you can stay" She says, to my surprise.
"...What did you say?" I look at her in total doubt.
"I...was also wrong, I don't know almost anything about your life, I shouldn't have said things I don't know..."
"It's just that...I've never been so exposed to a student's feelings in this way, it seems morally wrong because we're student and teacher...but...I'm willing to accept this"
She approaches, holds my face and kisses me.
"!!!" She firmly holds my face as she kisses me, she deepens the kiss and when I try to get away, she holds me tightly, preventing me from escaping.
After separating from the kiss, she says:
"Shizune, I've always wanted to do this, I've been your teacher for over 6 years and I've always held back, always thought it was wrong, so I've suppressed the desire to enter your life"
"I did this for 6 long years, but I can't hold back anymore if I see you aroused by my body, I can't control myself anymore, don't blame me for what happens from now on"
"I've restrained myself as much as I could, but you've made me unable to control myself anymore, I've always wanted to make you mine, but I've always resisted this dark impulse"
"But now you've shown me there's no reason for that" Her gaze darkens, finally acquiring that dangerous feeling that I'm unfortunately getting used to witnessing.
'Oh shit...now it makes sense why she didn't find it disgusting to see a girl masturbating with her in mind...' She's always been a yandere, she just held back.
And from what she said, she's a yandere who's loved me for a very long time, showing that she's loved me since I was a pre-teen and that she was just clinging to morality.
But my stupidity made her decide to abandon morality.