Marcus stared at his right hand.
His right hand, which now apparently contained a cosmic, all-knowing, reality-altering book capable of recording all existence.
"…This has to be a joke," he muttered, staring blankly at the glowing sigil embedded into his skin.
Somewhere in the vast cosmos, a divine being probably whispered: It's not.
Marcus let out a long, exhausted sigh, rubbing his temples. "Okay. Okay. I just need to breathe. Maybe if I just—"
He slapped himself.
Hard.
Zeus, watching this, blinked. "…Did that help?"
Marcus turned his deadpan expression toward her. "No."
She snickered. "Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're handling this dramatic existential crisis quite well."
Marcus shot her a glare. "I'm literally about to have a mental breakdown."
Zeus waved her hand. "Oh, come on. You're being dramatic."
"DRAMATIC?!" Marcus shrieked. He pointed wildly at his hand. "I have some cosmic god-tier artifact stuck in my flesh, and you're telling me to CALM DOWN?! What part of 'this thing pre-dates existence' sounds NORMAL TO YOU?!"
Zeus smirked. "Well, technically, nothing pre-dates existence. Except that." She pointed at his hand. "Which, by the way, is really funny. Because now you—"
"DON'T. SAY IT."
Zeus grinned. "—are a walking, talking existential paradox."
Marcus screamed into his hands.
He took a deep breath, turned back to Zeus, and practically begged: "Then why are you still here?!" His eyes were slightly misty from sheer panic. "If you're not going to help me REMOVE this thing, then why are you still standing there looking smug?!"
Zeus shrugged. "I don't feel like leaving."
Marcus stared at her in disbelief. "…You just don't feel like leaving?"
She nodded. "It's been a while since I've been in the mortal realm. Might as well enjoy myself, right?"
Marcus twitched. "That's it? That's your reason?"
Zeus sighed dramatically, placing a hand on her hip. "Well, that, and—" she flexed her fingers, lightning crackling between them, "—I can't remove the Grimoire. Even with all of my divine power."
Marcus stared. "What."
Zeus nodded. "Mmm. It's quite the conundrum."
"But… you're literally Zeus."
She smirked. "Astute observation, mortal."
Marcus gestured wildly. "And being Zeus means you should be able to just zap this thing away, right?! You're an all-powerful god!"
Zeus chuckled. "You'd think that, wouldn't you?"
Marcus hesitated. "…Wouldn't you?"
Zeus hummed, crossing her arms. "Let me put it this way. Despite my reputation as an almighty divine being, I have limitations."
Marcus squinted. "That sounds suspiciously humble."
Zeus rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still stupidly powerful. Could I destroy this world? Absolutely. Would I? Meh." She shrugged. "I could. But it's a lot of effort. And I'd rather not."
Marcus blinked. "I don't even—how is that supposed to make me feel better?!"
Zeus smirked. "It's not."
Marcus let out a long, suffering sigh.
He stood there, mentally reassembling his sanity, before suddenly tilting his head.
"…Wait," he said. "If you wanted to see the human world, why haven't you left yet?"
Zeus visibly tensed.
Marcus' gaze narrowed.
"…Why haven't you left, Zeus?" he repeated, voice edging into parental interrogation mode.
Zeus looked away. "…No reason."
Marcus took a step closer. "Zeus."
Zeus muttered something under her breath.
Marcus leaned in. "What was that?"
"…I said I can't."
Marcus blinked. "What?"
Zeus clenched her fists. "I. Can't. Leave."
Marcus stared. "…Why?"
Zeus' eye twitched.
Marcus folded his arms. "Why?"
She grit her teeth.
"Why?"
Zeus let out a deep, aggravated sigh. "…Because for some stupid, unknown, divine reason, I am prohibited from leaving your side."
Marcus deadpanned.
"…What."
Zeus sighed again. "Yeah. Turns out, the Celestial Grimoire did something when you got it."
Marcus slowly sat down on the ground, emotionally done. "…I don't like the sound of that."
Zeus exhaled. "Neither do I."
——/
Zeus knelt beside him. "From what I can tell, the Celestial Grimoire bound my existence to yours. Specifically, my soul."
Marcus paled. "I'm sorry, WHAT?"
Zeus nodded. "Think of it like a master-servant contract. Except I didn't agree to it, nor did I have a say in the matter."
Marcus sat there, processing.
"…So you're saying…"
Zeus glared at him, warning him not to say it.
"…That I'm your master now?"
Zeus' expression darkened. "Don't."
Marcus immediately bowed his head in mock reverence. "Oh mighty Zeus, forgive this lowly mortal for his arrogance."
Zeus' fist clenched. "I swear to the Fates—"
Marcus, still bowing, muttered, "Please do not smite me, great one."
Zeus cracked her knuckles.
Marcus quickly straightened up. "Ahem. Anyway." He sighed. "So, let me get this straight."
He pointed at his hand. "I have a book that should not exist."
Zeus nodded.
"And because of said book, you are now stuck with me."
Zeus' eye twitched. "Unfortunately."
Marcus exhaled. "…Why the hell is this happening to me?"
Zeus shrugged. "Good question."
Marcus dragged a hand down his face. "So, what, does this thing come with a user manual?"
And at that moment—
A glowing screen materialized before him.
[SSR SUMMONED: 'ZEUS']
Summon Grade: SSR (Legendary)
Level: 1
Title: King of the Gods (Legendary Grade)
Stats: [Currently Can't Be Measured]
Passive Skills:
– [Divine Authority: Supreme] (S+)
– [Lightning Domination] (S+)
– [God of Conquest] (EX)
– [Immortal Physique] (EX)
– [Fated to Rule] (EX)
– [Absolute Charisma] (EX)
Active Skills:
– [Divine Thunderstorm] (S+)
– [Wrath of Olympus] (S+)
– [Heaven's Spear] (EX)
Marcus stared.
"…Why does this look like a gacha game screen?"
Zeus blinked. "A what now?"
Marcus buried his face in his hands.
"I don't even PLAY gacha games," he whispered, suffering.
Zeus raised an eyebrow. "…Are you sure about that?"
Marcus twitched. "…Slightly."
Zeus smirked.
Marcus sighed, then slowly stood up, dusting himself off.
"Alright," Zeus said. "Now that we've gotten past the 'oh god why' phase, what's your plan?"
Marcus turned around. "I'm going home."
Zeus blinked. "Wait, what?"
Marcus walked toward the alley exit.
Zeus crossed her arms. "Aren't you curious about the Celestial Grimoire? The power you now wield? Me?"
Marcus paused.
Then slowly turned his head.
"Fuck no."