Since I didn't even sleep three hours, I decide to go for a run. It always clears my head. That's good, considering my thoughts are flying like crazy. I change my underwear and put on some Lululemon leggings and a sports bra. Then, I throw on a snug zip-up hoodie and top it with a cap.
Stepping out of my apartment, I see a guy lying on the floor, high as a kite. I check to make sure he's breathing, then head outside. After a light stretch, I start running through the dirty streets, blasting some Bon Jovi in my cheap earphones.
Sometimes, I can't believe I've survived for fifty years. I've been through so much shit. But the worst part? The loneliness. I don't have many friends who made it. Before all of this, there were packs. Big ones. Strong ones. A family where everyone had a place. My wolf instincts are screaming for a territory, a home. Now, Alphas are nothing but a legend. Mates, too.
My mother used to say that having a mate was the ultimate joy—that it would make you whole. That it was the only way to have pups. I was one of the last ones born, fifty years ago. No mate. No pups. No pack. Just a lonely world.
The only thing I look forward to each year is the Moin Goddess gathering. All the werewolves of the region come together, hoping the goddess will forgive us. After the Big Change, some of our kind refused to stop their ways—taking humans as slaves, doing anything to have pups. They raped, massacred, destroyed. And then some of them woke up, stopped the bloodshed, and tried to make amends.
That was ten years ago. Nothing has changed. Now, I think everyone is just depressed and lost.
The next gathering is in a week. It'll be held in the forest by the lake. I heard rumors that some werewolves from the North are coming this time. They're nomads—a group, not a pack. But I guess it's better than nothing.
I turn the corner, and the most delicious breakfast smell hits me like a slap in the face. Rose's Breakfast. My mouth waters instantly, and my stomach growls. With the way I barely sleep and burn calories all day, I need fuel.
I step inside, fully aware that I probably smell like a dead cat. Mary is there, wearing her bright pink and white waitress uniform.
"ALEEEE! It's been like an ETERNITY since I last saw you!!!"
I laugh, knowing full well I was here just two days ago.
"I'm happy to see you too, Mary," I say with a smile.
She moves in for a hug but stops two feet away, pinching her nose.
"URGH! You smell like a dead cat, Alee!"
Exactly what I thought.
She grabs my hand and drags me to a table.
"KARIN, I'M TAKING MY BREAK!"
Karin grunts, barely acknowledging her. The place is empty anyway—Sunday at 6 AM, everyone's still asleep. Lucky bastards.
"Sooooo, do you know what you're going to wear?"
"Wear?" I ask, playing dumb.
Mary rolls her eyes. She knows I'm messing with her.
"Don't be stupid! The gathering! In a week!?"
"Hmmm. I don't know. Probably jeans and a black T-shirt."
"OH NO, PLEASE, ALEE! You can do better. We're getting fresh arrivals—new werewolves! Let's go shopping after my shift."
Urgh. I hate shopping. I don't like trying on clothes or spending money. But I know she won't let this go. And honestly? She probably just needs the company. Since her little sister died two months ago, I know she's been struggling. Her sister was my age. Mary's three years older than me.
"Fine. But nothing too slutty, shiny, or sparkly."
I grab a menu, even though I already know I'll order the exact same thing as usual.
"Ugh, you are NO fun, but fine. I, however, need something slutty AND shiny!"
She squeals, wiggling excitedly in her seat.
"Oh, come on, you already know what you're getting. Let me just put in the order."
She skips off to the kitchen. Karin walks over and drops off two coffees—one for me, one for Mary. I add cream and sugar to hers and a dash of milk to mine. Checking my flip phone, I see a few messages from Andrew. He's asking me to work on the night of the gathering. For the third time. I shut the phone and shove it into my crossbody bag.
Mary returns, balancing two plates and a mountain of toast. She got blueberry pancakes with a ton of bacon, while I have two eggs and every type of meat possible. She sits and immediately starts devouring her breakfast.
"So, what's up with Chad?"
She groans.
"Ugh, it ended as fast as it started! I'm a live-in-the-moment kind of person, you know? And he was so… structured. It felt like dating an accountant. BUT I started seeing someone else two days ago. Her name is Valentina—exotic, right?"
She keeps talking, and I just listen. She sounds so happy. I don't understand how she does it—how she stays so positive. Life keeps throwing her lemons, and somehow, she makes lemonade, lemon cake, and lemon poppy seed muffins. I wish I could be like her.
I'm resilient, sure. But my life? It's far from great.
An hour later, she has to go back to work. I decide to use the time before the end of her shift to head into the forest.