The week after their conversation on the bench felt like it was dragging through molasses. Damian could feel the shift in the air between him and Alex every time they crossed paths. It wasn't awkward, not exactly—but it wasn't comfortable either. There was a new layer of something between them now, a tension neither of them had been prepared for, and they both knew it. Every glance lingered a bit longer than it should, every joke felt just a little more forced, as though they were testing each other without saying a word.
Damian didn't know what to do with the silence that hung in the space around them. He tried to focus on his classes, to drown out the constant hum of questions running through his head, but it didn't work. Not when every time he bumped into Alex, there was that familiar, uncomfortable pull—a magnet they couldn't escape.
It was Thursday afternoon when Damian was sitting outside the library, staring at the same textbook for the third time and realizing he hadn't read a single page. His mind kept drifting. Alex's voice, low and uncertain. "Can you ignore it?" What did that even mean? What was it? The last thing he wanted was to keep pretending it didn't exist. But he wasn't ready to face it either. Not yet.
That's when Alex appeared next to him, sitting down on the bench without asking. Damian didn't look up right away, but he felt the familiar weight of his presence beside him. There was something different in the air today, though. Something that made Damian uneasy. He didn't know why he was so on edge, but he felt like this conversation—whatever was about to happen—was inevitable.
"You think about what we talked about?" Alex asked, voice quiet. It was direct, but the way it hung in the air felt like it was loaded with too many things they both weren't prepared to deal with.
Damian bit his lip, glancing at him quickly. "I try not to. Honestly."
Alex snorted, an empty laugh that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, me too." He leaned back on the bench, stretching out his legs, his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie. For a moment, they both fell into a silence that wasn't uncomfortable, but it was thick with meaning.
"I'm not sure what I want," Damian finally admitted, staring at his hands. He couldn't look at Alex directly, not yet. He wasn't sure why it felt like his heart was in his throat. But it did. "I don't know if I want this to be something… or if I just want to forget it and move on."
Alex was quiet for a long time, and when he finally spoke, his voice had dropped an octave, softer but no less intense. "It's not that easy, man. You can't just forget it. Not with the way we've been."
Damian's chest tightened at his words. He hated how true that sounded. He'd been lying to himself for days, pretending like everything was fine, like they hadn't crossed some invisible line that neither of them could uncross now. He didn't want to feel this way, didn't want the guilt and the confusion that came with it. But at the same time, it was impossible to ignore.
"I didn't want to complicate things," Damian muttered, staring at his shoes. "I just wanted to have a normal friendship. You know? Without all this extra shit."
Alex let out a slow, deliberate breath, leaning forward now, his elbows on his knees. "What if this is the normal we've been trying to avoid?" His eyes were piercing, like he was looking right through Damian. "What if we're both lying to ourselves about what we really want?"
Damian swallowed. The words hit him hard. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. He was so fucking scared—scared of what this could mean for their friendship, scared of what might happen if they crossed that line and couldn't come back.
"I don't know what I want from you, Alex," Damian confessed, his voice shaky. "I don't know what any of this is supposed to be."
Alex looked at him, his gaze softening just enough to let Damian see the flicker of something more than frustration in his eyes. "I'm not asking you to know, man. I'm just asking if you're willing to figure it out with me."
Damian stared at him, his heart racing. "What happens if we can't figure it out?"
Alex leaned back against the bench, his eyes still on Damian, his expression unreadable. "Then we deal with it. Together. Like we always have." He paused, then added, "I'm not going anywhere, Damian."
For a moment, Damian's thoughts collided in a storm of confusion. He didn't know what Alex was offering, or if he even wanted to take that leap. But the words felt like a lifeline. Maybe it was the alcohol from the other night still lingering in his system, or maybe it was just the way Alex was looking at him, but for the first time in a long time, Damian realized he wasn't as alone in this as he thought.
"I don't want to lose you, Alex," Damian whispered, the words slipping out before he could stop them.
Alex's face softened, and for a second, Damian could have sworn he saw the same fear in Alex's eyes that he had been carrying for so long. "You're not going to lose me," Alex said, his voice steady. "Not over this."
The weight that had been pressing down on Damian's chest for days seemed to ease, just a little. The unknown was still there, still hanging over them both like a cloud. But in that moment, Damian understood something important. Maybe they didn't have all the answers. Maybe they weren't supposed to have them right now. But whatever was happening between them, they weren't facing it alone.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.