"You looking for a fight?"
"You're the one picking a fight."
Naruto, who had finally settled down to eat, was at it again with Sasuke. Their bickering quickly escalated, and soon they were grabbing each other by the collars.
"There's plenty of room outside. Take it out there," Uchiha Ying said, shielding his bowl while egging them on. "Didn't look like you two got it all out in class today."
*If they fight, I get more ninja shards…* With that thought, Uchiha Ying hoped they'd really let loose. Not that he needed to do anything; these two were never at peace together.
"You're just a loser. Fighting you is a waste of time."
"What did you say?!" Naruto bristled, the memory of his humiliating defeat in front of the whole class still fresh. "If you hadn't used that cheap trick, I wouldn't have lost!"
"Idiot. Only a dead-last like you wouldn't be able to tell a shadow clone from the real thing," Sasuke sneered. *Ninjas fighting and he's complaining about cheap tricks? This loser is unbelievably stupid.* "But, if you're really itching for a beating, I can oblige." He didn't know why, but every time he fought Naruto, a strange thrill coursed through him, especially when he won.
"You're the one itching for a beating! Come on! I'm not scared of you!"
---
---
"They're really going at it, huh?" Uchiha Ying said with a smirk, watching the two boys, brimming with post-dinner energy, wrestle and tumble in the dust of the Uchiha clan training grounds.
Naruto was clearly outmatched. Sasuke had him pinned, his face bruised and swollen. Sasuke, on the other hand, was practically unscathed, aside from some dirt on his clothes and a small mark where Naruto had landed a punch.
Despite the clear disparity in skill, Naruto refused to yield. "Again!" he grunted from the ground.
"Alright, it's getting late. Go take a bath. I've already started the hot water."
*[Ninja Shards x2]*
After discreetly collecting the ninja shards, Uchiha Ying noticed how late it had gotten.
"A bath? Me?" Naruto hesitated. He'd eaten dinner; it was dark. Shouldn't he be going home? He was surprised when Uchiha Ying seemed to expect him to stay.
"It's too late to be wandering around. Just stay the night," Uchiha Ying said casually, handing Naruto a towel. "Plenty of empty rooms. You can crash after you're done."
"But…" Naruto glanced uncertainly at Sasuke, who had already gone inside. Would Sasuke be okay with him staying? He knew by now that this was Sasuke's family home.
"What are you waiting for, loser? Get in here," Sasuke said coldly, his back still turned. He finally understood that strange thrill he got from fighting Naruto. Unlike others, no matter how many times he was knocked down, Naruto always got back up… again and again…
"Okay!" It was the first time Naruto had been invited to someone's house, let alone been asked to stay the night. He silently wiped the dust from his eyes and followed the light inside.
"Stuck-up Sasuke! I'll crush you one day!" he muttered. Then, turning to Uchiha Ying, he scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry, I… I called you stuck-up in class today, too. But you're a good guy." Even Shikamaru and Choji had never invited him over.
"Don't worry about it." *He called me stuck-up and now I'm a "good guy"?* Uchiha Ying ruffled Naruto's spiky hair, feigning indifference. Truly.
"Ow! Stop! My scalp's coming off!" Naruto decided he wanted to retract his earlier statement. There were no good Uchihas.
---
---
*[Enter Instance?]*
After settling the restless Naruto in a guest room, Uchiha Ying had just closed his eyes when he found himself in another dimension.
*No.*
Dismissing the Kaguya instance, Uchiha Ying found himself on a familiar street in Konoha. He made his way to the Hokage Tower.
*[Action Points 3/3. Spend 1 Action Point to Enter Scene?]*
"Huh? Yesterday it was two, today it's three?" Had absorbing the ninja shards increased his points? Or did they increase every other day?
"Whatever. I'll figure out this cheat later." In this cold, cruel ninja world, only Tsunade's… considerable assets… could offer Uchiha Ying a sliver of warmth.
He pushed open the doors and went straight to the Hokage's office.
"No mission today…"
"That's fine. You *are* my mission." Unlike his initial hesitation last night, Uchiha Ying was much bolder tonight. He immediately lifted the voluptuous blonde onto the desk, playfully mirroring her words.
"That's disrespectful! Call me Hokage!"
"Alright, Hokage-sama. Now open wide."
"Stop it! This is the Hokage's office!"
"That's what makes it more exciting."
"Mmm… no… mission… today…"
The porcelain doll on the desk now had her golden hair spread across her shoulders, her eyes glazed over, her clothes disheveled, revealing glimpses of… light. Her high heels were gone, revealing delicate toes painted red.
Uchiha Ying realized that even though Tsunade was an NPC who repeated phrases, she still reacted realistically during… vigorous activity. Blushing, panting, sweating. Aside from her lack of thought and robotic speech, she was indistinguishable from a real person.
It was almost *too* realistic, sometimes making him feel a twinge of guilt.
"I'm still not evil enough," he mused.
*[You have strengthened your bond with a female ninja. Bond Points +1]*
After a while, Tsunade was back in her chair behind the Hokage's desk, composed once more. A new message appeared in Uchiha Ying's mind.
"I meant to ask last night, what are these Bond Points for?"
*[Bond Points can be used to enter the dreams of others.]*
"Enter dreams?" Could he enter the dreams of real people?
*[The farther away the target, the more points it costs. However, you cannot harm each other within the dream.]*
"So, it's just for peeking into someone's dreams?" Uchiha Ying reviewed the dream function's details, his interest waning.
"Wait. This could be useful for some serious mind games…" He thought of the two old codgers in Konoha, a mischievous plan taking shape.