XAVIER'S POV
If there was one thing I hated, more than anything, it was losing control.
I hated it so much. And the only way one can lose control, was by being weak.
By letting your emotions or feelings rule you. By giving in.
By not being in control.
Losing control meant showing weakness.
I had to be in control at all times.
It was the only way I could function and do what needed to be done.
But somehow, Lisa had the power to make me lose control.
Seeing her with Enzo….Seeing her with another man….seeing his arms around her.
I wanted to punch him and beat him up.
But the worst part was, seeing her cry and the fear in her eyes.
She was scared. Terrified.
Her lips were quivering. Her legs were shaking. She looked so afraid.
That bloody b-astard guard. I was going to kill him with my bare hands. I was going to make sure he regretted ever laying a finger on her.
How dare he try to r-ape Lisa. Wasn't my warning earlier enough? The audacity.
My blood boiled. My fists were clenched.
And I wanted to rip him apart. I was so angry and furious.
And it took everything inside of me not to snap and lash out. Not to beat him to death. It was a struggle.
*********************
Fck! I ran my hand through my hair. It was morning already. I had stayed up all night thinking about the incident.
Last night was supposed to be a special and unforgettable night. Lisa was supposed to meet me at the private room. Fulfill her own part of the deal.
I had prepared everything in the private room. Everything was perfect. Perfect for her. But that b-stard guard, had to ruin everything.
I was really pissed. I didn't sleep a wink last night.
The whole time, I kept thinking about Lisa.
Her crying. Her trembling.
I should have killed that b-stard that night.
But that wasn't the only thing on my mind.
Another thing was Lisa with Enzo.
She was in his arms.
It was killing me. I wanted to break his arms too. And throw him out of the house.
I didn't understand why, but I hated the fact that Lisa and him were close. They seemed too close.
The way Enzo had his arms wrapped around her, made me see red. I didn't like it. He was holding her too closely. Too intimately.
And Lisa didn't seem to mind either. She looked happy in his arms.
Did she like him? Did she have feelings for Enzo? Was Enzo the reason she rejected me the other day in my office, when we kissed? Was he the reason she left and walked out on me? Did she choose him over me? Why would she do that?
What did Enzo have that I didn't?
I was a billionaire. A fcking billionaire. I paid her mum's debt. I paid the hospital bills.
I was so angry. So jealous. And it was eating me up inside.
But, at the same time, I felt guilty.
She was my personal maid. I was her employer. It wasn't right for me to have these thoughts. To feel this way. To have these emotions.
These feelings were not appropriate. This situation was driving me crazy.
I still up from the bed and walked over to my bathroom to shower. I was so tensed.
I stepped in. Naked.
The hot water was running down my back. My muscles were still tense.
I was still feeling uneasy. I couldn't calm myself. I needed a release.
I had a hard on. And the image of Lisa was stuck in my head.
I closed my eyes and thought of her.
Her naked body. Her smooth skin. The first day we met. The kiss we shared in the private room and the one we shared in the office.
I rested my head on the cold marble and stroked myself. I imagined her hands were mine. It was her soft hand. Stroking it. Up and down. I started thrusting into her palm.
It felt good.
I was moaning and panting. My body was tingling with pleasure.My toes curled.
Then I shut my eyes tightly and released.
The tension slowly faded away.
My mind was clearer now.
I cleaned myself, got off the bathroom and got dressed. I was going to pay the b-stard guard a visit.
Today, he would learn his lesson. No one touched my things.
Lisa was mine. Only mine.
**************************
I walked out of my room. Lisa's room was next to mine. I could see that her door was slightly open. I got close.
I wanted to go in. To see her. To ask her how she felt. To hold her in my arms and kiss her and tell her I won't let anything bad happen to her again.
But the thought of her in Enzo's arms again, stopped me. The image clouded my mind.
It made me angry. Frustrated. I didn't want to talk to her.
So, I moved away and headed downstairs.
As usual, the other maids were cleaning.
"Morning, Mr Jackson." They greeted.
I didn't bother replying. I ignored them.
"Where's Henry?" I asked.
"He's in his office with the policemen, Mr Jackson. He called the police station and reported the case. So they are here to arrest the guard." A female maid replied.
I didn't respond again. Instead I just walked straight to Henry's office.
My eyes were narrowed. My fists were clenched and I had a cold expression.
Some of policemen were standing outside Henry's office, guarding it.
"Good morning, Mr Jackson." They greeted.
I nodded.
Then, I opened the door and entered the office.
Henry and the policemen were inside. And so was the guard. He was handcuffed and seated.
The police were interrogating him. Asking him questions, but I didn't care.
I went straight to him and punched him. Hard.
He fell backwards from his chair and hit his head on the floor.
"Mr Jackson!!!!" Henry exclaimed. He tried to hold me back but I pushed him away.
"How dare you, b-stard. How dare you try to r-ape her. I'm going to kill you. You will regret ever laying your hands on her." I yelled at me.
I threw myself on him and began hitting him. Over and over again. I could hear him screaming. His cries filled the office. He was begging, pleading but I didn't listen.
His face was getting swollen. His nose was bleeding. I didn't stop.
I was going to end him. Make sure he never hurt Lisa again.
"Please. Mr Jackson. Please. I didn't mean to. I was drunk." The guard pleaded. He was shouting and begging for me to stop.
"Please. Mr Jackson. You're going to kill me. Please Mr Henry. Police. Help me. Help." The guard cried out.
I didn't care. I was blinded by rage. He had no right to say anything. He deserved it.
"Enough!!! Enough Mr Jackson. Enough!!!!Stop hitting him, Mr Jackson. He's not worth it. You're going to kill him. Please. Let the police handle him." Henry yelled and ran over to me.
"Mr Jackson. Stop it. We have him. Let us handle this. Mr Jackson!!!" The policemen pulled me off of him.
"You b-stard." I yelled, as I was being held back.
The guard was coughing out blood. His face was badly wounded and I could see him spit out a few teeth.
I wanted to beat him more. But I had no choice. I gave up.
I was panting and trying to catch my breath.
"Mr Jackson, please calm down." One of the policemen said.
"We are handling the issue. He's going to be arrested and locked up. We will make sure he pays for what he did. There is no need for violence. Let the law handle the situation." He added.
"The law?" I asked. "Do I look like I care about the f-cking law? Tell me. Have I ever cared about the law? I am the law. So, let me make this very clear to all of you. I don't care about the law. I will not be following the law. He touched my personal maid. He laid a finger on her. So, as far as I'm concerned, he deserves to die. He's not going to jail. He will never step out of this house again, because I will kill him myself." I said, angrily.
"I understand, sir. But she's just a maid. Why are you acting like this?" Another police officer spoke.
I turned to face the officer.
"What did you say to me?" I yelled. I was about to snap. He was really testing me.
I walked closer to him. For each step I took, he took another backward. He was scared of me. Everyone was.
I had a look on my face that would send chills down the spine of anyone.
If he knew what was good for him, he would shut up.
Henry sensed the tension. He quickly interrupted.
"Officers, take him away. Make sure he's locked up away for good." He said to the policemen and gestured for them to leave immediately with the guard.
Then, he turned to me and spoke.
"Mr Jackson, I will advise you to calm down. You're acting like a lunatic." Henry said.
"I'm acting like a lunatic.. Are you hearing yourself Henry? The guard tried to r-ape Lisa." I shouted.
"Yes. And he will be punished for that. You and I both know this is not the first time, something of this sort has happened in the mansion, and you've never acted like this." Henry said.
He walked over the cabinet and brought out a bottle of hot scotch. He poured some into a glass and handed it over to me.
"Drink it and calm your nerves, Mr Jackson. The policeman is right. Lisa is just your maid. You have to get a hold of yourself. You can't be acting this way because of a maid. You can't allow her to get under your skin. You are not supposed to care. It is not right." Henry added.
I took the glass from him and gulped down the drink at once. The burning sensation of the scotch calmed me.
Henry was right. What was I doing?
I was losing control. Acting crazy, because of Lisa. A maid.
"You're right, Henry. I shouldn't care. It's just a maid. She's nothing but a maid. She's nothing but a servant. She's just another one of the many, countless maids, who work for me." I replied.
I had to keep saying it myself. That was the only way I could get her out of my mind.
"Exactly. So, forget her. Go about your daily business. Treat her like every other maid in the mansion. That is what you have to do." Henry said.
"I mean, did you see her with Enzo last night. I think she likes him. You can see it from the way he was holding her. I don't know what is going on between them but, they are definitely a thing. Do you want to be the man who was rejected for another guy?" Henry added.
The mention of Enzo and Lisa again, sent a wave of anger through me.
I held unto the glass so tight that it broke in my hands, cutting my palm.
Henry was surprised.
"Mr Jackson. What the hell! Are you okay? What are you doing. Here, let me take care of that." He said and grabbed my hand.
Blood was dripping from the cut.
I didn't even feel the pain. I was so tensed.
"This is exactly why, you shouldn't be acting like this. Look at what is happening to you. Your hands are bleeding. All because of a maid." Henry muttered.
He grabbed a cloth from his desk and wrapped it around my hand.
"It's fine. Leave it. I'll be fine." I said.
I pulled my hand away from Henry's grip.
I had to leave. I couldn't be in the same room as him anymore.
I couldn't think straight.
Lisa.
Enzo.
Their faces kept flashing in my head. The image of them together.
And, the fact that I couldn't stand it, made me more angry and frustrated.
*******************
I spent the rest of the day in my office. I didn't want to see Lisa or anyone. I just wanted to be alone.
So I just sat there in my office, working from morning till the sun set.
I went over all my assets, investments, stocks, properties, contracts and deals.
I read and went through all the paperwork and documents in my office. I don't think I've ever worked this much.
I just sat there and did work, all day, non-stop.
A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts.
"Come in." I said.
The door opened and Henry walked in.
"Are you still working?" He asked, staring at me.
I didn't even bother looking up.
"It's 8pm already. It's time for the dinner. The chef told me you haven't eaten or requested for anything, all day. Do you want to starve to death?" He asked.
I didn't respond.
"Mr Jackson. Are you going to let your emotions for the maid, kill you? What's the matter with you? Snap out of it." Henry yelled.
"Emotions?" I asked, finally staring at him.
"Yes. Emotions. Don't act like you don't have any. Everyone has them. Even a cold-hearted man like you, has feelings. And the worst thing is you're letting them rule you. It's making you lose control." He stated.
Then he walked closer and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"I thought you were stronger than this, Mr Jackson. I didn't raise you to be weak and pathetic. I didn't raise you to give in and lose yourself to emotions. Especially, not for a maid." Henry said.
"Enough! Enough talking about her. She's a maid. A lowly servant. And nothing else." I growled and slammed my hands on the table.
"Good. Glad we are back on the same page. So, get a hold of yourself. Get it together, Mr Jackson. Don't lose control. Losing control means showing weakness. Weakness will destroy you. You must be in control. At all times. Do you understand?" Henry asked.
I didn't answer.
"Do you know why I didn't cry when my daughter, Amelia died? Do you know why I kept on working in the mansion even though everything here reminded me of her? It was because, I didn't want to show weakness. A man is only powerful if he's always in control. Forget about the deal and forget about the maid." He added.
Henry was right. I needed to get a hold of myself.
"I will be downstairs at the dinning hall waiting for you. You should come and eat dinner. The chef prepared the dishes you like. Don't let them go to waste." Henry said and walked out of the office.
I leaned back on the chair and rested my head on the wall. I closed my eyes.
'A man is only powerful if he is always in control. Losing control is the worst thing one can do.'
Henry's words were ringing in my head.
He was right.
For 28 years, I had been strong. Never showing emotions.
I was in control. Always in control.
Even when my parents died. I remember how painful it felt.
They died when I was 10 years old. They were shot dead.
And it hurt. So much.
But I didn't cry. I didn't cry when I saw their bloody lifeless body and I didn't cry when they were buried. I didn't mourn or grieve.
Henry told me these same words.
'A man is only powerful if he is always in control. Showing weakness makes one vulnerable and powerless. And being weak and vulnerable is a dangerous thing, Mr Jackson. Don't let yourself be weak and vulnerable. You must not give in to your emotions.'
So why was maid changed everything? Why was she making me weak? And why was I letting her?
I can't let her have this effect on me.
She was an ordinary servant and I had to start treating her like one.
I stood up and left my office. I made my way to the dinning hall.
The dishes were all spread out on the table, and the aroma was amazing.
I didn't realize how hungry I was.
My stomach was growling.
Henry was standing behind the chair, at the end of the table.
"Have a seat, Mr Jackson. The food is getting cold." He said and pulled out the chair.
I took my seat.
Henry poured some red wine into my glass.
The kitchen maids came and served me the dishes.
There was steak, fried rice, roasted beef, grilled salmon, chicken stew, lobster soup, mashed potatoes and a variety of vegetables.
They were well prepared. Just the way I liked it.
I began to eat. I hadn't eaten all day and I was famished. Starving myself wasn't a good idea.
The food. It was delicious.
"Join me, Henry. Have a seat and eat with me." I said.
"No." Henry shook his head.
"I can't, Mr Jackson. I'm your servant and a servant must never eat with his master. I will eat in my room, later." He replied.
I shrugged. Henry was always strict with the rules.
I was about to dig into another piece of steak when Lisa entered the dining hall.
Her presence caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to see her.
Sh!t. This was going to be hard.
I tried my best to act like she wasn't there.
To ignore her and not look her way.
I concentrated on my food and took another bite. But somehow, I could sense her.
Her aura was drawing me to her.
Lisa was carrying a tray with two plates of desserts. She walked slowly and carefully, trying not to spill the plates.
"The chef told me to bring these. He apologizes for forgetting to serve the desserts." She said and placed the plates on the table.
My eyes followed her. I watched her.
And she avoided my gaze.
It was awkward. Tension filled the air.
Silence.
Then she bent down to arrange the dishes.
I stared at her. There was something different about her. Something changed.
It was her hair. It was tied up in a bun. Also my eyes were a little swollen and there was a red mark on her cheek.
I could tell she was still affected by the incident yesterday.
A wave of anger ran through me. I felt bad.
And I didn't like it. This was why, I didn't want to see her. She made me weak.
She was messing with my mind.
Lisa was still arranging the dishes when, with an accidental nudge of her elbow, she knocked over the glass of wine on the table. It tipped over and the red wine fell, spilling all over my shirt.
"Sh!t." I cursed and shot up from my seat.
The wine was dripping down my body and staining the clothes.
Lisa gasped.
She didn't mean to do it.
"Mr Jackson, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She apologized and immediately rushed to grab a cloth.
"I'm so sorry." She said again and started wiping the spilled wine on my shirt.
Her hand brushed against mine as she wiped and I felt a tingle. The touch sent an electric current through my body.
I could feel the sparks.
And, suddenly, all my anger vanished.
All the tension between us, melted.
The atmosphere became warmer. I could feel the attraction between us, and I knew she could feel it too.
"Sorry, Mr Jackson." Lisa mumbled, quickly moving her hand away from mine.
Her eyes looked up at me and I was lost in them.
Fck! She was beautiful. So beautiful.
Why was she so pretty?
"I'm so sorry, Mr Jackson. I didn't mean to spill the…" she began to apologize.
"Leave, Lisa. Now." I heard Henry say. I knew he could sense it too. The tension. The connection. The chemistry.
And he was trying to stop it.
"What did I just say?" He added, glaring at her.
"B-But…" Lisa tried to speak.
"Leave here, Lisa. Just go." He said to her. His voice was firm.
"Y-Yes..Yes, Mr Henry." Lisa said. She turned to leave, but I grabbed her arm.
My action was not planned. I didn't know why I did that. But I didn't regret it.
Lisa's body stiffened. She froze.
We were both shocked by what I did.
Henry was too. He stared at me.
Then, I turned and looked down at Lisa.
Our eyes met.
"Leave, Henry." I commanded. I didn't take my eyes off Lisa.
Henry stared at me. I could feel his gaze.
I ignored him.
"Leave, Henry. Now:" I said, louder.
I didn't know what I was doing, but it felt right. I just wanted Lisa.
"What?" Henry asked. Surprised by my words.
"Mr Jackson. Don't do this. We talked about this. A man is only…." Henry began to speak.
I interrupted him.
"I know what we talked about, Henry. But, I want you to leave. Now. I want to be alone with her." I ordered him.
Henry was hesitant. He wanted to protest, but I gave him a stern look.
And, after a while, he gave in.
"You're making a big mistake, Mr Jackson. Be careful. Control your emotions. Remember what I said." Henry said to me. Then he left.
Now, it was just the two of us.
Lisa and I.
Alone.