The hum of the air conditioner filled the room, its cold breeze the only thing keeping me anchored to the couch. Outside, the sun blazed like it had a personal vendetta against humanity. It was summer — that time of year when teenagers flocked to beaches, festivals, and fireworks displays to celebrate their youth.
I stared blankly at the ceiling.
Yeah. Hard pass.
The distant sound of Komachi's footsteps echoed down the hall, growing louder until she stopped at the doorway. She appeared before me, eyes narrowing with that all-too-familiar troublesome glint.
"Onii-chan, you're seriously gonna spend the whole summer rotting here?"
"Rotting is a bit harsh," I muttered, shifting just enough to adjust my pillow. "I prefer the term preserving my energy."
Komachi sighed, crossing her arms. "You know, most middle schoolers go out during summer. Even the ones who have, like… no friends."
Agh. Right for the critical hit.
I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Is this your way of pitying me? Because if it is, you're losing points for subtlety."
She shrugged. "I mean, someone has to push you a little." Her eyes flicked to her phone. "You could at least try to get a part-time job or something."
I had considered it. Maybe at a bookstore or someplace quiet where customer interaction was minimal. But in the end…
"Maybe next summer," I replied lazily.
Komachi frowned, "You always say that. Aren't you bored just sitting around all day?"
I stretched my arms behind my head. "Boredom is just a side effect of freedom, Komachi. Spinning in circles and pretending summer is a magical time is how normal people cope with it."
Her eyebrow twitched. "You're so dramatic. Summer isn't that deep."
"Oh, but it is. This whole 'spend summer with friends' thing? It's just an illusion of freedom, a carefully crafted narrative pushed by the youth-industrial complex."
Komachi blinked. "…The what?"
"The youth-industrial complex," I repeated. "It's real. Look it up in the Japanese translation. Every summer, kids are out there convincing themselves they're making unforgettable memories when in reality, they're just following a script."
Komachi squinted at me. "You're literally the only person I know who can make going outside sound like a conspiracy theory."
I shrugged. "Someone has to be the voice of reason."
She shook her head with a sigh. "Alright, my miserable Onii-chan. Let's say I believe you. What's your solution? Just sit here until fall?"
"Exactly."
Komachi's grin widened. "I knew you'd say that. That's why I already planned in advance."
What.
I frowned. "Planned what?"
There was a knock at the front door. Komachi's eyes sparkled with triumph.
"Go ahead, Onii-chan. Someone's here to make sure you actually get some sun."
I sat up slowly, suspicion swirling in my mind. "Please tell me it's not—"
Komachi opened the door before I could finish.
Standing outside was Evil God, dressed in a white sundress that caught the light like it belonged in some overly romantic summer movie. Her long hair framed her face perfectly, and for a brief moment—just a moment—I was caught completely off guard.
This was Komachi's doing. I should've known.
Komachi leaned casually against the doorframe, clearly enjoying my discomfort. "What do you think, Onii-chan? I picked the dress."
Evil God's eyes met mine with that unreadable, almost bored gaze of hers. "Your sister has good taste."
I coughed into my hand, already feeling the urge to retreat. "Yeah, well. I'm sure this was part of some elaborate plan to catch me off guard."
"No plan. Just a dress."
Lies.
Komachi poked me in the side, grinning. "Come on, Onii-chan. You can't leave her waiting like that. It's rude, y'know."
"Right. Wouldn't want to upset my cute little sister." I stood up, brushing off my shirt. "I'll go change into something more summer-appropriate."
Komachi gave me a thumbs-up as I walked toward my room. "Take your time. I'll keep Onee-chan company."
I could hear their voices drifting faintly down the hall as I closed the door behind me.
Changing into something decent shouldn't have felt like preparing for battle. Yet somehow standing in front of the mirror, it felt exactly like that.
Why did Evil God agree to this?
That thought repeated itself as I slipped into a plain T-shirt and jeans. Maybe she really did find my sarcasm entertaining. Or maybe she was bored out of her mind and searched for amusement. Either way…
This summer's about to get terrifying.
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ᛚᛟᚾᛖᛚᚤᚲᚤᚾᛁᚲᚨᛚᛋᛟᚢᛚ
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The festival grounds buzzed with life. The air smelled of grilled yakitori, and unlit yet lanterns hung lazily from the booths, swaying gently in the summer breeze. Laughter echoed from groups of teenagers we passed.
I tugged at my collar, already regretting my decision to leave the house. Good thing I didn't have to wear a yukata or kimono.
Komachi trotted alongside me, "See, Onii-chan? It's not so bad once you're actually here."
Sure, if you like the smell of overpriced festival food and watching people pretend they're living their best lives.
Evil God walked on my other side. She looked as unfazed as ever, though the faintest glint of interest flickered in her eyes as she observed the festival games.
Komachi grinned, nudging me with her elbow. "You were about to say something depressing again, weren't you?"
"I was thinking it. Not saying it."
Komachi's smug expression practically screamed, "What's the difference?"
I sighed. This was how festivals always went. Komachi would drag me around until I inevitably ended up playing some impossible game just to win her a stuffed animal. Every year, it was the same.
"I want to try that," Evil God said suddenly, her gaze locked on a booth ahead.
It was one of those goldfish scooping games. The type that required patience and subtle hand movements. Two things most festival-goers lacked.
I narrowed my eyes. "You know it's rigged, right? The paper breaks faster the more you pay."
Evil God stepped forward, her expression unbothered by my words. "It's fine."
Komachi's eyes lit up. "Ooo, Onee-chan, you're gonna try it?"
I shrugged. "She'll probably clear the whole tank."
Komachi laughed. "No way, even I can't win that game!"
And yet, somehow, I knew what was about to happen. Komachi doesn't know Evil God as I do.
The booth attendant handed Evil God the thin scooping tool with a grin that shouted, Here comes easy money.
Evil God knelt by the tank, observing the goldfish with the same calm detachment she applied to everything else. With a flick of her wrist, she dipped the scoop into the water. A ripple spread out, and for a brief moment, it seemed like she had one but the paper tore at the last second, leaving the goldfish to slip back into the tank with a plop.
Komachi leaned forward, waving a hand dismissively. "Ah, that always happens! It's tricky, Onee-chan, but don't worry about it. I always lose on the first try too."
Evil God stared at the tank, the faintest crease forming between her brows. It was subtle but noticeable enough for someone like me to catch it.
"I want to try again," she said, her voice quiet but firm.
The attendant blinked, surprised by her resolve. "Well, sure, but it's another 300 yen per try."
"Wait." Before I could stop her, Evil God handed over the money without hesitation.
Evil God crouched down by the tank again, her movements graceful and precise. In one fluid motion, she dipped the scoop into the water and lifted it.
The attendant paled.
One goldfish.
Another.
Three.
Four.
By the time Evil God had transferred the seventh fish into her bowl without breaking the paper, the man looked like he was contemplating early retirement.
Komachi gawked. "Wha— How?!"
I rubbed my eyes, pretending this was normal. "Of course." This is Evil God we're talking about.
Evil God nodded her head "It's just scooping. It's not that difficult."
"Really?" I asked.
"It's about the angle," Evil God began, her voice as calm as if she were explaining quantum physics to a toddler. "The paper is fragile, but if you lower the scoop just enough to let the water balance without fully submerging the frame, the surface tension minimizes the pressure."
Komachi blinked. "Huh?"
Evil God continued undeterred. "The trick is to avoid chasing them head-on. Instead, predict their path and intercept from the side. Less resistance that way." She glanced at Komachi. "It also helps to go for the smaller fish first. They weigh less."
I watched as the booth attendant's grin slowly began to falter, beads of sweat forming at his temple.
"That's… quite the strategy, young lady," he muttered, laughing nervously.
Komachi's eyes sparkled. "Whoa, Onee-chan! You sound like some goldfish-scooping pro! Unlike Onii-chan!"
I felt a sharp, invisible blade pierce my chest.
My little sister keeps killing me inside.
I crossed my arms, trying to salvage what was left of my pride.
Komachi tugged at Evil God's arm. "Onee-chan, you have to win me something too! Let's go to the shooting gallery!"
"Alright."
Before I could protest, the two disappeared into the crowd.
I blinked at the space where they'd been. "Did my own sister just abandon me?"
I surveyed the sea of festival-goers. Fantastic. Now I just looked like some sketchy loner lurking around a summer festival.
And then, I felt it. That ominous sensation. The kind that only signaled incoming embarrassment.
A figure emerged from the crowd, draped in a dramatic black cloak. He was wielding a plastic katana, the kind sold at cheap festival stands and his entire demeanor reminded me of chuunibyou.
"Ah… so the war god descends upon this humble festival," the figure intoned, stopping directly in front of me.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Zaimokuza. Why are you dressed like that?"
Zaimokuza flicked his plastic sword with exaggerated flair. "You jest, Hikigaya! This is no mere festival attire. This is the garb of a general! A symbol of my conquest over the mortal realm!"
Of course.
"I see," I said dryly. "So you're conquering goldfish tanks now?"
He lowered his katana slightly. "A general must maintain his skills. Even the humble goldfish must be subdued in preparation for greater battles."
I resisted the urge to sigh for the hundredth time. "Sure. That makes sense."
Zaimokuza leaned closer, squinting at me with a suspicious expression. "But what of you, war god? Surely you are not here for mere entertainment. Are you not locked in combat with rival factions?"
"I'm just here because my sister forced me out of the house."
He gasped as if I'd uttered some forbidden truth. "You dare admit such weakness in public? Unacceptable! A war god must never reveal his vulnerabilities! Great HACHIMAN!"
Why did I even engage?
Before I could respond, Komachi's voice rang out behind me.
"Onii-chan! Look! Onee-chan won me this huge stuffed bear!"
Zaimokuza leaned in closer, lowering his voice to a dramatic whisper. "Hachiman… how could you betray me like this?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Betray you how?"
"You've brought a girl… to a festival." He glanced at Evil God quietly observing Komachi playing with her bear. "I never thought you'd abandon our sacred brotherhood of loners for such earthly delights."
I stared at him, unblinking. "That's Evil God."
Zaimokuza's eyes widened with a mixture of awe and horror. "I see… so she too walks the path of the chuunibyou as well."
"Not exactly."
He nodded solemnly. "I understand. A being of immense power must conceal her true identity. Fear not, I shall guard this secret with my life."
"Yeah… sure."
Komachi giggled, overhearing just enough to enjoy the absurdity. "You're funny, Zaimokuza-san. Onii-chan, can we take pictures now?"
Evil God turned to me, "Pictures?"
I resigned to my fate, feeling the weight of inevitability. "Sure. Let's just get this over with."
This festival was already more exhausting than I'd anticipated.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, the festival lights flickered to life, casting a warm glow over the thinning crowd. Zaimokuza struck a dramatic pose, hand over his heart as if he were about to embark on some noble quest.
"Hachiman, our paths diverge here, but fear not," he declared, voice trembling with exaggerated emotion. "Should you ever require the strength of the General of the Night Army, simply call my name. I shall emerge from the shadows to fight by your side."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Right. I'll… keep that in mind."
Komachi waved cheerfully. "Bye-bye, Zaimokuza-san! Don't get lost on your way back to the shadows!"
Zaimokuza gave her a thumbs-up, eyes sparkling with self-importance. "Fear not, Komachi-dono! The shadows are my domain." With that, he disappeared into the festival crowd, his cape (that he absolutely should not have been wearing in this heat) fluttering behind him.
Komachi sighed with a smile. "Zaimokuza-san never changes, huh?"
"Unfortunately."
Evil God watched him leave with mild curiosity. "He's… unique person."
"That's one way to put it," I added.
We lingered near the exit, the night breeze carrying the distant sounds of fireworks. Komachi hugged her Evil God. "Thanks for coming, Onee-chan! Today was really fun."
Evil God gave a small nod. "Yeah, it was fun."
"Guess we'll see you around."
Hopefully without surprises like today.
As I turned to leave, Evil God's voice stopped me.
"Hikigaya."
I glanced back. She held up the photo strips we'd taken at the festival booth, her gaze fixed on the top picture—one where Komachi was pulling faces while I looked like I'd rather be anywhere else.
"May I keep this?"
I blinked. "Uh, sure. I've got five copies anyway."
Evil God studied the photo for a moment longer before carefully storing it. "Thanks."
Komachi nudged me with a grin. "Onii-chan, don't you think she is pretty?"
I scoffed, ruffling her hair. "She just likes collecting evidence of my suffering."
As we walked home under the warm sky, I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, this had been less of a hassle than I expected.
And that was probably the most unsettling part.