Of course, the fish had to have a name.
Oh, and of course, it, ahem, he had to be fluent… and have a favor to ask!
'What is this situation?' Yun Jieshi shuddered. 'What requests can I possibly grant?'
The little monkey's thoughts were a mix of fury and anxiety. What was he to do? He was not this Sage the fish was talking about. Was it wiser to clear up the misunderstanding?
"Ah… I don't think I can grant you any requests… Bei Jun. You see, I am really just a—"
"Oh, Little Sage, I believe I have proven my worth and my wit in recognizing what you are behind this little shell. Please, I beg of you, do not continue to test me. Time is short. The days are short, but the nights are shorter. Soon, I will have to crawl back into my pond," Bei Jun cut him off and floated closer.
Yun Jieshi shook and took a step back.
This fish was insistent. One look into its eyes and he knew he wouldn't be able to convince it that he was not a… Little Sage.
"Why do you call me a Sage? Little Sage, I mean?" he asked and he swallowed a lump of saliva while squeezing the neck of his ruan tight.
The fish considered him with a puzzled, wide-eyed gaze.
"Surely you jest, Little Sage. You would insist on testing me more?" Bei Jun said. He suddenly looked frustrated. Oddly, instead of being intimidated by the giant wrinkles that appeared on his face, Yun Jieshi desperately bit down a chuckle that rose abruptly from his gut. It was uncanny for a fish to look angry.
Bei Jun's eyes raced all over Yun Jieshi.
"Very well. I shall indulge you – not that I have a choice. I shall explain why you are a Sage," the fish said. "For one less obvious thing, no harmonized or disharmonized mortals would dare touch delights like the fruits you are carrying on those shrubs. They are only reserved for the enlightened, and that is a rule. You seem to have eaten some of them. To mortals, consuming these directly is fatal."
Yun Jieshi was taken aback. The Shuang Fingers…
Many thoughts coursed through his head, but the one at the forefront fulfilled one of Yun Jieshi's suspicions.
'So, the Jade Imps can't eat the Shuang Fingers,' he thought. 'But then, if they can only be eaten by the Enlightened, am I—'
Bei Juni interrupted him.
"I think that should be answer enough, Little Sage. I picked the least obvious answer I could have given. That was the point of the question, wasn't it? I have proven my worth. Now, please, listen to my request!" the fish cried.
While wondering what exactly Bei Jun meant by 'least obvious answer', Yun Jieshi raised his hands. He felt a little threatened by the fish's growing impatience. He had no choice. He had to listen to its request.
"Tell me about this request then," he said carefully.
Bei Jun looked overjoyed. He did a little dance behind the rotating waters.
"Good, good! Since you were watching from the trees, I'm sure you noticed the little abominations that come to disturb my peace at the pond. The Jade Imps. I have a score to settle with them, but I fear that the light might catch me if I choose to do it myself," he explained. "The days are short, but the nights are even shorter."
Yun Jieshi, with as wise of a face as he could wear, raised a finger as though to pause Bei Jun.
"Wait. What do you mean the light might catch you?" he asked. If he really was to even try to fulfill the fish's request, he had to understand its circumstances somewhat.
"Ah, Little Sage, the daylight from this region is bad for my body, which is why I stay in the pond throughout the day. I'm not originally from here. The light where I come from is nourishing, rich, and kind, but here… the light will turn me inside out, gifting me a fate akin to ugly leather – I just know it!"
It took all of Yun Jieshi's willpower and then some to resist the urge to wear a dumbfounded visage. His confusion might have taken a tangible form then.
"I… see," he said. He saw nothing.
"Yes, yes, Little Sage. The days are short here, but the nights are even shorter, so if I were to try and travel to the cavern of the Imps and challenge the Imp King, I wouldn't be able to make it. It's a long way and I would have to find a new place to hide from the light every day. I cannot do that. So, I beg of you to deal with the Imps and their King on my behalf," Bei Jun pleaded.
The little monkey drew a sharp breath.
'Imp King?' he thought to himself, trying to match all the pieces the giant fish was casually throwing at him.
"You want me to fight the Imps… because they have been disturbing you and your fellow fishes in the pond?" He had to get it right as quickly as he could.
It was Bei Jun's turn to simmer in confusion.
"Fellow fishes? But I'm not a fish, Little Sage. Surely you can see that," he said, blinking twice in two seconds.
"…" Yun Jieshi gaped silently, staring long into the fish's eyes. "…Right."
Completely believing that the Little Sage, Yun Jieshi understood that he (Bei Jun) truly wasn't a fish, Bei Jun continued to explain the contents of his request.
"I'm not so concerned about the Imps fishing in my pond, Little Sage. The Imp King stole a precious treasure of mine when I settled here. It is very dear to me and it is the only possession I have left from home. I fought bitterly to protect it, but that foul creature had a formidable army. He is a coward. He couldn't beat me alone so he swarmed me with his ilk!"
Bei Jun took some time to compose himself. Recounting the story infuriated him.
"In any case, I would have been distressed all along if I didn't know that the Imp King would never be able to use that treasure. To him, it will forever remain worthless unless he finds someone with enough wit to help him. Ha. No one here is capable of that. Since, he hasn't returned to my pond – strengthened by that treasure – I assume he can't use it indeed."
'This just gets more and more ridiculous the more I listen,' Yun Jieshi thought, but he was nodding sagely on the outside. 'Pluck my life.'
"What kind of treasure is it that the Imp King stole from you?" he asked.
Bei Jun suddenly laughed, startling Yun Jieshi.
"It was one of a kind where I come from. One of a kind indeed. It catches the eye even from a distance. Seasoned eyes. The Imp King was drawn to it."
At this, Yun Jieshi frowned.
'You dodged my question!' he thought. 'Describe it, at least.'
He meant to translate this demand into the conversation when Bei Jun suddenly pushed himself and the water bubble closer to him.
"Little Sage, the days are short and the nights are shorter. It won't be too long before the light returns. Please, say you will agree to my request. A Sage like you will have no trouble finding my treasure as long as you can find the cavern of the Imps. Please do not reject my request," he pleaded earnestly.
The last thing Yun Jieshi wanted to do right then was to pile on questions (even though he desperately wanted to). The more Bei Jun explained, the more he (Yun Jieshi) realized that he had lost room to ask some of his burning questions. He got the feeling that if Bei Jun, the fish who wasn't a fish, learned that he was just a little monkey who was somehow enlightened – whatever that meant – he would gobble him up.
'And here I was trying to convince him I wasn't a Sage earlier!'
Thus, Yun Jieshi tried to improve his act.
'The bastard thinks he's talking to a Sage, right? I have to play along. I have to take his request, but…' The little monkey recalled all the stories he'd read about Immortals. There had to be some kind of good deed done to earn a reward from them. In other words, Yun Jieshi – as this fake Sage – couldn't even think about accepting Bei Jun's request without being offered something in return.
'I can't just do this for free, especially when I don't know anything about this Imp King and the cavern of the Imps. Worst case, even Bei Jun could become suspicious if I just accept his request willy-nilly. He has his own view of… Sages. It shouldn't be too different from that of Immortals, right?'
Yun Jieshi straightened himself. He cooked up a façade. It couldn't be too hard, right?
It was!
But he managed.
For the first time, the Lower Southern Plateau was graced by the presence of the Discount Sage.
"Very well, Bei Jun," he said with a struggling, deep-er voice. "I will fulfill your request if you can give me something valuable in exchange." He was careful not to say 'equally as valuable' in case that marked him as a greedy bastard rather than a wise one.
Bei Jun was pleased. It showed in his great eyes.
"Of course, Little Sage! I have just the thing!" he said. "My scales will surely suffice!"