It was the 24th of December 2024. A man named Delio Esmores sent me a message. He was the one who I turned down in 2021. (In 2021, he's still in the hospital, and just woke up from a coma when he messaged me and added me as a friend in social media. He was stabbed by his own relatives. His face got a scar. But here he tried again to court me.
In 2021, a childhood friend of mine suddenly saw me on Facebook, it's Reden Esmores. He requested me to add him. I was surprised because I was using a pseudonym, Anne Kosher that time yet he still recognized me. As time passed by, he sent me a private message, asking about my personal life. Next, his male cousin, Delio Esmores, my elementary grade classmate added me as well that first time when I changed my name to Anne Patino, that very day. And he courted me immediately on our first exchanges, it's so fast that he uses "I love you" simply everytime. But I didn't accept him, I know he had many chatmates online.
After a few days, the first one, Reden sent a message again. This time, he was so persistent, he already knew Delio was courting me too because I told him. He told me that Delio is not a good guy, that he's a drug addict and a trouble maker. I was very honest with the both of them. I told them both that I won't entertain any guys anymore. And I won't give them too much hope on me and I love them as FRIENDS only, no more beyond that.
He wanted me to treat him beyond friends, to give him a chance. But I instantly said "NO!", I said: "I'm not looking for a boyfriend." and many reasons to stop him. However, he was so persistent that I should just try.
So I gave Reden a chance that time, in 2021, but on my first agreed date to meet, he failed, according to him he got sick. The next time, he cannot make it because he had a work or a trainee somewhere. And I was a bit disappointed.
And he also told me not to tell anyone about us. I tried to change my status from single to "in a relationship with..." tagging him but he declined, so I just removed it. It was like a red flag actually. And another red flag is he was fond of cock fighting, he always talked about how he handled a cockfight arena before, he supervised it and he won many times in their cock derby or cockfighting whatsoever term they used in rosters fight! He was so proud of it and missed the days. He was under training when he chatted with me, training to go overseas, I think it was a seaman, as a welder.
We agreed to meet again, and this time, he will go to my place. However, after a week of our LDR relationship only, one night, I heard a male voice, it's like giving me a warning.
"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒!" I think it's the Lord's voice, he wanted me to go back home. I didn't understand it yet, if it's about me.
Later on, I heard another voice of a woman saying, "𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑..."
Next, I just returned to sleep, ignored it as usual, and had a strange dream.
n my dream, I went to a dreary place, kinda dark. And I saw many souls of men, standing tall, lining up in rows, many rows of men.
Those souls were all standing in front of a man, an elderly that looked like a JUDGE (based on his words as he asked each one of them).
There were so many people or souls (thousands or more), that I cannot count them.
It's like an old station, the first point of entry to that place. The place has no lively colors.
It's like in horror films, the place is so desolate, and morbid.
I heard them, the JUDGE was asking them one by one, each waiting for their return.
The judge was asking them about the things they have done on Earth.
I was like an OBSERVER at that time. I am just peeking at their faces one by one.
I was listening attentively to their answers, as if my face was already sticking to theirs but they never minded, as if I was so FREE (like a FLYING SPIRIT) to do that. They didn't notice me, they were not distracted by what I was doing, though I was like playing, moving from one place to another just to listen to each of their answers, forcing my ears to get near their faces.
I was trying to remember all their answers, listening carefully to their confessions about the wrong things they did on Earth. It was so clear and I noted it.
I was just like a visitor in that place where the souls of men were judged.
Next, I heard the JUDGE asking this thing to a man in the center,
"𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗦𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗧 𝗣𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗥? 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗦𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵?"
And the guy answered,
"𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗷𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗦𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗧 𝗣𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗻 (ROSTER) 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀."
Afterward, I went away and left that place and I went to a different area.
The aura was still the same, with no lively colors, everywhere was dark.
And I saw a woman, one of the workers of that place.
She knew me and she called me!
Without any ado, she commanded me to do my work as well, as if I was a worker there also, that I should finish my work.
She gave something to me, a small object, I am not sure if it was a key or a lighter. She insisted that I should do my part, to do my obligation there in that place.
Then, she showed me the TALL TOWER, by pointing it behind them, a little far behind the very back of that place.
It's like a very old TOWER that has a wooden beam placed horizontally, that is moving upward and downward. That's what I saw from a distance. And there's some kind of burning flame inside it, between the horizontal beam as it went upward and downward. As if there's a burning reddish flame inside of the tower.
According to the woman, I should light something inside that tower, to burn the GUILTY souls of men, the souls which were already judged and convicted as GUILTY due to the sins they have done on Earth.
She said that they had waited for my return for such a long time already to accomplish that, that it was the assigned work to me, my role to burn the convicted GUILTY souls.
So I followed her instructions, but I was not sure about the direction going there, where to go since I was new, and I didn't know the point of entry going there.
I was confused, so I went back and forth at first, looking for anyone to ask for directions.
I saw another woman, one of the personnel there also. It's like a carnival, a busy place.
Most of the people there were all busy, each having their own role, their own work.
This time, this woman taught me the way, showed me the right direction going to the old tall tower, and how to climb up there.
Later on, I finally got it. I had managed to find the entry point of that old tall tower.
I climbed and climbed upward until I arrived at an old chamber, in the middle.
I entered through it and saw many people there, and they all KNEW me! It's like meeting my old acquaintances.
The old woman saw me and she felt so happy as I came. She was very happy that I had gone back.
According to the old woman, they were all waiting for my return there.
She looked so worried and asked me,
" 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗻 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵?'
"𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲?
She's so excited for my return.
There were some young girls like me also there and they talked with me, we kept on chatting together like long-time friends
We talked about life on Earth as if the present place was my real world, and Earth was only a temporary place that I was just visiting there only for a short time, temporarily. And I was glad I was back.
Next, the old woman reached for my hand and helped me to climb upward to a tall tower like a tall wide column posted in the center of that chamber, to proceed to our work. It's like a factory for the dead souls.
She reached for my hand, lifted me up, and supported me so that I wouldn't fall from the tower. It was like climbing through a tall big rounded post in the center of the tower. I cannot explain clearly, it was a strange place, an old one.
But later on, something FLASHED around us, it's like a SCREEN, a POWERPOINT presentation, it's very wide, like a wall around us, above us. The wide SCREEN projected something on the air. It has a BLUE AND WHITE background.
All the words were in ENGLISH, like in SCIENCE topics, about the situation on EARTH, the impending DANGER in the future. The calamities that may possibly happen on EARTH. On the big screen - FUTURE DANGERS.
There were many statements and they were all very clear in my dream. It's made up of long statements and all I could remember was a few words only, like:
EARTH EQUILIBRIUM, HELIUM, EARTH RADIATION INCREASES, SOLAR SYSTEM, ETC.
Then, I woke up.
The next morning, I contemplated about my dream and it was like a warning to me, not to go on. I decided to break up with Reden I haven't met yet, the soonest as possible while it's not too late, while we haven't met yet personally. I sent a message online and told him I tried but I didn't really love him.
He was so devastated and thought I just fooled him. He cannot accept it. It was like he was blaming me for giving him false hope when I already told him in the beginning that I would just try but I didn't love him. He already knew before everything started.
And my decision was firm. I won't entertain anyone anymore and I already said it from the very start.
I heard a few things, from our hometown, nasty things about him and they said he was lying.
I gathered news that he had women already back home but I didn't tell him that I knew something about him. I just wanted to avoid further trouble and I felt lucky I didn't meet him personally. I never told him that I discovered something bad about his life.
I just saw his face online, in his middle age already. I met him during our elementary days only. I didn't know what had happened to him during his teenage and early adult years.
I must say he's a man with many words, blah blah blah (like a woman), he cannot accept one word. He kept on insisting he wouldn't accept it and told me to try again. And it's a very RED FLAG as well.
It's like a headache actually, he seemed unable to understand and it seemed he was passing the guilt to me, so I BLOCKED HIM! End of story. It was indeed INDEPENCE DAY, June 12, 2021.
And here again, in 2024, Delio, his cousin was asking for my hand again. I was so hesitant in accepting his hand at that moment (in 2021) because I didn't like him.
I forwarded him our picture in Elementary where I was a Muse and he was the consort.
And he joked, "Why not make it happen?" (He is the groom and I am the bride)I just laughed it off. However, a male Voice whispered unto me, "Yes, accept him." I don't want to follow him but I believed it's the LORD and I need to follow his will. I told the man, "However, I want you to marry me first!" And he instantly said, "Yes, I will." And he typed again, "Anne, WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
I paused ... I don't want to accept him. It's a long pause. He sent a message again to follow up on me. I was inside a fastfood at that moment. I don't know what to do. I was like turning here and there. But the Male Voice spoke again, "YES! Say Yes, accept him."
I hesitated again. But then, I thought it's the LORD's will, Father's will be done, no matter what.
After a few minutes, I said, "YES!"I can't believe it. He told me to come over to his rented house. Before that, I asked him if I could rent a room, because according to him the owner of the rented house is his Grandmother.
He didn't want me to rent, and he said it's alright to just stay inside his room, and he won't do any harm to me. According to him, we will sleep separately.
He convinced me to stay with him that Christmas Eve. According to him, he was lonely and sad. He's alone. So I gave in, I wanted to accompany him because I was alone as well, staying with my cousins' and sometimes with my sister's rented room together with her husband and son. I was like a wanderer at that time, moving from one place to another, sleeping here and there.
I went in Manila December 10 to visit my sick brother in the Hospital.
I traveled by bus from Cavite to Alabang Town center. After more than 2 hours I think, I arrived in Alabang town center.I waited for him there because he was working as a Security Guard in a private individual.
His off is 7pm and arrived there in the mall around 4pm.I was thinking we will have dinner together in the mall, so I waited for him, I didn't eat yet. However, at around 7pm, I saw that each stall was closing down, they rolled down their hanging wall.I had no idea that the mall would close around 7pm at that area.
So I have no choice but to go out immediately, without buying anything. I waited for him outside the mall. And the rain suddenly came. It's raining, when he called on my phone. He told me to just walked across the road to meet him. He's wearing a helmet, and a rider's long sleeves attire. I assumed it was him (with a motorcycle) since I haven't seen him for a long time since high school days.
It's the first time we met there.
It seems he cannot believe it as well that I will meet him. "Is it really you, Anne?". He asked, as if still amazed. He thought I won't fulfill my words. He thought I will not meet him, as if I was not real.
He let me hopped onto his bike and we rode under the showering dark sky. He was babbling blah blah but I cannot hear him well. He bought a lechon manok in the nearest market place.
We passed by the narrow street typical in the slum area, only a small bike can pass through there, and maybe only two small people could pass at the same time, it's very narrow.
It's a long way like a maze, and I cannot memorize the passage, I kept on going astray on my first and 2nd attempts. I found it difficult for me, especially if I brought a heavy grocery, because tricycle or taxis cannot enter there.
We arrived at the rented house. He immediately introduced me to everyone, to his family. And he said, "THIS IS MY WIFE!" (What?! Unbelievable! We were not married yet officially.)
During that time, I heard an invisible female voice saying, "IT'S KARMA!"
We went inside his rented room, there's no window and I don't like it. We talked and he cooked rice first so that we can eat our dinner. I was hungry already, I used to eat around 5:30pm everytime. I was the only one who ate dinner, because he had eaten already in his work. At his work, they gave him free meals, from breakfast to dinner, so he doesn't cook in his house.
He was popular as a drug addict before, but according to him it was due to his work of being a PDEA agent (Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency). He was a troublemaker since our school days based on his story as well. We're classmates since elementary school. He was not afraid of killing anyone who was messing with him according to him. And also he's hiding for a long years, because he got involved in a syndicate activity involving high ranking officials in the Government, that was later died, so he was free to roam now. According to him, no one can leave alive on that group, so he was hunted down when he left them. He knew the druglords and they were his allies. He became one of their hitmen. He told me about his secrets, and I tried to stop him from doing that, maybe someone was listening on the next room, however, he cannot be stopped, he didn't bother if he spoke it aloud, it seems he was so proud to tell it to me. He had that loud voice when he told me stories.
I knew that our neighbor could hear us because I could hear them from the other side as well, including their cough.
Sleeping time came on my first night there, my first condition was to sleep separately, and I'll just offer myself when we're already married. However, all of that never happened. I just give in to his persistent words. I heard MALE VOICES, they cannot be seen as usual. One Male spoke, "SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF."
Things happened very fast, I cannot stop it. I found myself bleeding. I bled, I was confused why. I found myself hurt a little. And I heard the Male Voices again, and I think it's the ANGELS or the LORD, he said, "IT'S DANGEROUS!"I was scared as well. And I heard one voice saying, "EVERYTHING IS A LIE!" "IT IS WRONG! HE IS CURSED. HE KILLED MANY!" Another voices spoke (but they were invisible).
Another Male voice spoke, "IT'S ONLY PHYSICAL, IT CANNOT PENETRATE THE INSIDE, THE SPIRIT."
At the middle of the night, my mind was like in a CONFUSION STATE.I wanted to go home immediately. I arranged myself to go home no matter. But he stopped me, and he was devastated. I told him, "I DON'T WANT TO MARRY ANYMORE!"I explained myself so that he could understand me but he's not willing to let me go. It was like he's playing like a VICTIM and I was fooling him or playing his feelings only. He said many words that made him looked pitiful or victimized.
I was like trapped. He said, "Don't do this to me. It was like you lifted me higher, abruptly, and you put me down immediately. Please stay. Let's try for 2 weeks. And if it won't work, so there's nothing I can do."
He added, "...if it's the WILL OF GOD, why won't you obey?"
While listening to him, I calmed myself, and I said, "Okay...I'll try..."I gave in, I tolerated him and just obeyed his wishes.
I cannot sleep there for a few days, I told the man that is next to me to delete my picture because he made it as a profile pic so that I could sleep, so he deleted it. But still, I cannot sleep well. I think it's the 3rd night when I prayed in my mind to FATHER, to help me, to forgive me. I think maybe I made a mistake that's why I cannot sleep. That night, after praying persistently, asking help and rescue, my prayer was answered, I got a sleep little by little until my sleeping pattern returns to normal.
The same thing happened to me, I suffered after our intimate moments, a few droplets of blood everytime, though it was only rare it has none. I was afraid and don't want him to touch me, but he cannot be stopped. Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't want to get intimate with him anymore because I was afraid something bad will happen to me if I will continue doing it though he was insisting that it's only in the beginning (to calm me), and it would be fine if we'll do it always, according to him.
The next day, I saw his dirty clothes and he said, "I have washing machine there. If you can, if it's okay to you, can you wash my clothes for me?" I cannot reject him, I was willing to do it, inside my head, in exchange of my stay there. The following day, I have a little money left to buy food, he gave me 1 thousand. I bought a sack of rice and grocery. I bought it all there. He just told me to buy him coffee and his favorite hair creme.
I had my own plane ticket already before we met. I was scheduled to go home January 7, 2025 but he was insisting I should cancel it and he wanted me to stay there with him.
He wanted me to get PREGNANT immediately! He spoke it directly. I don't want to say "I LOVE YOU." But he was trying to persuade me to reply as well. And I heard a male voice speaking to me, "Say I love you too." So I spoke it without feeling it. I thought it's the will of the LORD. At times, I just want to sleep, turning my back to him, but a male voice said, "HUG HIM. HEAL HIM." So I obeyed as well. "You are healing him." A male voice spoke to me, but only me could hear it. I believe I was there for a reason to help him heal, maybe internally or spiritually. And maybe I would learn to love him eventually.
I tried to heal him by hugging him, because I believe it's the LORD's will.
I just listened to his talks, many talks, he loved to talk. The Male voice was telling me, "Don't talk too much. Just listen to him." And another said, "Nobody wants a nagging wife." (Stopping myself from scolding him of spreading his dirty underwears everywhere or bringing his dirty shoes inside.)
Everyday, he wanted to video call, there's internet access there 24hrs. I felt suffocated, I was not used to have someone who's chatting every now and then. It was like I have no other life anymore, except him.
The next day, I saw a reply to my post (a post displaying my status: in a relationship with him) saying, "CONGRATS!" It's a woman, and I replied as well, "THANK YOU." (I thought it was a sincere congratulations but I was wrong)
The following night, I felt something was wrong, I felt disturbed. The following morning, I saw a comment to her congrats remarks, and it's a nasty one. And there I discovered it was his EX-woman, a married woman that has many children already. It was like he was her husband and wanted me to return all her things in the house. It was very embarrassing, she embarrassed me. The outcome there was I am a mistress. She said that I should be ashamed of myself by using her own things in the house. I confronted the man, and he said that his ex-woman was lying and a manipulator.
The next morning, I posted a statement (THE TRUTH) publicly, tagging that woman, in retaliation of her embarrassment to me. But she was like playing a VICTIM as well, telling others that I was a BAD ONE. I told her to return to her husband, don't cheat on him because they're already married, however, she returned it to me, she said I was the one who was married already and should return to my husband (but in truth, I have no husband, I am a single mother, not married as well).She's like a demoness, she's completely a liar, manipulator and can twist the truth, making up stories that were untrue.
She messaged me in chats but I didn't accept it. I wanted to block her and I blocked her eventually, however, the man beside me unblocked her and they exchanged messages using my account.
I cannot block her again, I will wait 48hrs before doing it again. So she's monitoring my post and always commenting nasty messages. I figured it later on to turn off comments, and only my friends can comment.
It's really embarrassing, I was embarrassed. The woman made friends with the man's family. So she called them and I was the villain in her story. Delio was pushing me to befriend all her relatives, to talk with them but I don't want to because I am working online. And it's not my habit to talk and talk to anyone if I am not comfortable.
I wanted to accept him unconditionally, whatever his past: whether he's a gangster, criminal (he admitted it that he killed many and he erased all evidence or witnesses of his crime) or a "kabit" before. For me, everyone has a chance to change, and everything can be changed. Maybe he's a changed man and I won't judge him based on his past (maybe I was wrong).
I went outside the mall. I wanted to send him a message, but I hear a male voice saying, "No." (It's like a test for his reaction) So I went out and buy lunch inside the mall's food court. I dined in there. And he scolded me. He wanted me to inform him every time I went out for my own safety according to him. I told him, I am not a kid anymore, I'm already an ADULT to do that all the time.
The next day, I told him, I wanted to meet my longtime friend, a woman, and I wanted to sleep over there as usual. But he said, "NO, STAY THERE." He repeated that phrase over and over again.
I was like I was being controlled like a robot, I felt trapped. I felt like I was in prison, and I needed to BREAK OUT immediately! So I told him, I wanted to go home, to proceed to my original plan because I have my own plane ticket already. It's more than a week already.
After that, I turned off the internet, and rushed to pack up my things, my luggage. I heard a female Voice saying, "HURRY!" So I hurried my steps and went out immediately from that narrow crowded place. As if someone was chasing me, I was afraid a little he might come home and catch me. I went directly to my sister, traveling by bus, from Alabang to Sta. Cruz, Manila, near LRT.
I slept over there. Next, I received chats, messages from my Aunt. I never thought he would contact my relatives, my Aunt and my Mother, it was everyone knew what was going on with us. It was like he's just informing them that I ran away or maybe he's playing safe (risk?).
I was turned off a bit, little by little. I don't inform anyone, and he did it first. Around mid-night I think, I remember him. I was worried as well. He might feel broken hearted. So I unblock him and replied to his chats. I let bygones be bygones. We talked and we resolved it. My Aunt as well sent a message to me to resolve everything personally before my flight.
The next day, I returned to him.We talked and agreed that I should go home first and will just return in Summer.
After a month, in the last week of January, I already in my own house, my monthly period didn't happen. I suspected I was pregnant, but I have no other symptoms whatsoever. I bought a test kit and it was confirmed I am positively pregnant. I announced it as well online and many knew it, tagging the Father of the child as well.
He's always calling me, checking me up, where I am going and what I am doing. Until, I blocked him, because I felt that my head ached everytime in videocall, and one factor maybe is the poor signal and it was like my voice was echoing back everytime. I told him, not to video call anymore after I unblock him. And one day, I told him, " You should find a good wife, the one who can serve you. Because I am the one who could not do that...(etc etc.). I couldn't be a good wife to you... (etc etc)..."
But he won't accept it. According to him, he's willing to adjust and would do anything for me.
I felt that something was wrong, and I needed to stop it. I would hear an invisible Golden Voice of a Male telling me, "STAY OUT OF TROUBLE." And in another time, a male voice said, "DON'T REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN."
I was thinking maybe he will bring me an additional burden in life instead of lightening my load.
His family is complicated as well. He had two kids I think from another woman, his first EX live-in partner maybe. And I have no idea if he was sending them financial support, maybe nothing, maybe sometimes. And this latest ex-woman who made a scene online to me that seems could not move on yet totally based on her reactions. I don't want to get involved with nonsense quarrel especially about men. I thought he's totally fine and no women would chase him anymore, but I was wrong.
He likes fitted clothing, pants and shirts. However, lately, my style is the opposite of his likes because I followed the LORD's advice to wear modest clothes, to represent him well, to represent Heaven, because Father GOD told me, "YOU ARE OUR REPRESENTATIVE. BEHAVE WELL." (Though I forgot to behave well sometimes especially if someone had provoked me first, I tend to retaliate as well, to fight for the truth, for my right, as long as I know I am right.)
One day, I went outside wearing a loose blouse like the old woman's style. He's laughing as he saw me, while he called me, in a videocall again. I was outside, bought grocery. He mentioned, "I find it nice (smiling at me) but I don't want you to look "LOSYANG" (means something has lost its freshness)"I felt offended, I am pregnant and he said that remarks. I heard a male voice (invisible one) speaking while he's reprimanding about my outside appearance, "Speak again and I will slap you."
And I sent him a message, ending our relationship, "Let's Break!"
He said it was a joke only and I told him in a comment, "Find a sexy young woman ...."
I told him he's free to find another woman he likes, and we need to end ours before that.
And he posted as well online the video of a sexy woman. He was fond of posting dramatic lines or playing victim quotes or videos. before that, I told him not to post nude pictures of women there or else others might say he's a maniac. I don't like him anymore, he's like blaming others for his failed relationship.
After a few days, I heard an invisible voice saying, "SOMEONE WANTS TO RUIN YOU."
I don't know yet who it was. It's like the voice was giving me a warning but I have no idea.
So, I unblocked Delio again, to see what he's posting or doing online and talked to him as if reconciling again and again. Next, I wanted to go to him on February 8, to give in to his request.
However, I have no budget for my plane ticket. So I thought, I wanted to try him, because he spoke about it before, he said he would sponsor for my plane ticket when I wanted to return there. So I said, "Can I borrow money from you to pay for my plane ticket?"
But his reply disappointed me, he said, "I have no money anymore..." According to him, he sent it already to his parents and he could provide February 10? And there I decided to block him again. (Maybe he thinks I am after his money, but I was just testing him, he doesn't support me financially anyway)
It means his words aren't true at all. He's all promises only. He cannot be trusted even in little matters like that.
He was a big red flag to me. I blocked him to stop calling to me. But I unblock him again, remembering the male voice who said, "SOMEONE WANTS TO RUIN YOU." I searched for his name, and there I saw his post, in group DATING page, looking for another woman!?In his post, it was like his ex-woman was not contented so he wanted to find another woman. Many women replied to his post, and he replied to them that he's a victim, that someone left him. He replied to every woman, so that they could chat privately. The voice was right, he intends to ruin my name, as if I am the DISCONTENTED ONE and I left him for that.
These are my observations to him while I was with him:
-he's fond of chatting many women
-he's fond of online gambling with many women
-he treated me like a SLAVE (in our first week)
- I am not totally free and want to be free again.
-he's a big red flag to me because he doesn't go out with me, he has no off days.
-he just kept his money somewhere, maybe he's afraid I think he is not generous to me - we have no proper dinner on our first date. He doesn't bring me anywhere, inside the room only.
I heard a Male Voice always speaking this while I was talking to that man, "He is an IDIOT! IDIOT!" The man cannot hear it, only me.
And the invisible male voice spoke as well, "HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN."
So, I posted all my screenshots there online, publicly. And I said, "IT'S EMBARRASSING, IT'S FINALLY OVER.... (blah blah)"He replied as well. One of my friends wanted to stop me from posting it online, but I cannot be stopped, I wanted everyone to know who he really is. He posted on the dating site publicly, why wouldn't I speak the truth as well publicly?"
I blocked him again and again. I blocked his number as well, but still I can received the text messages.
I was ready to move on without him, and ready to have the child alone as a single mother. I ordered online the baby clothes, baby mattress, baby pillows, baby carrier and baby cradle using a loan application. I will just pay it every month. In my mind, I think, others have miscarriages after having babies' stuff. I saw it before in TV but inside me was telling, "IT'S NONSENSE" so I proceeded so that I am ready anytime.
I remember a MALE VOICE spoke one time upon my return at home, one night he said, "I WILL DISSOLVE IT!"
February 7, 2025, in the afternoon, I was devastated, and spoke to myself alone, "IT'S A BIG MISTAKE. EVEN IN MY DREAMS, I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN. I DON'T LOVE HIM!"
February 8, 2025 came, at dawn, I heard a music playing, the title of the song is "In Jesus Name (God Of Possible)" by Don Moen: I speak the name of Jesus over you
In your hurting, in your sorrow
I will ask my God to move
I speak the name, 'cause it's all that I can do
In desperation, I'll seek heaven
Pray this for you
I pray for your healing, that circumstances would change
I pray that the fear inside would flee in Jesus name
I pray that a breakthrough would happen today
I pray miracles over your life in Jesus name, in Jesus name. "
I woke up and I suddenly cried. I felt something was wrong. I felt a little pain, I have cramps on the bottom part of my belly. I thought it was only normal. I went outside the house, near my little garden and I heard an invisible voice of a male saying, "SHE LOOKED DEVASTATED."
Next, the cramps won't go away. I felt painful cramps like I was laboring or have PMS. At lunched time, I drank coke with ice. Next, I lie down a little. Then, I drank a malunggay soup, hot soup. I bled, I have blood spotting. I put on a menstruation pad, and I suspected that I have a miscarriage. After drinking the hot malunggay soup, my cramping pain eased, relieved a little. I heard a male voice saying, "IT'S A RELIEVER only."
I sat down on the wooden sofa when I felt something flushing down on my pad, it's like slippery! So, I immediately rushed to the comfort room and there it just slid down on the toilet bowl, a small elongated red thick lump, maybe 3 fingers wide. I just flushed it in the bowl, and I burned the blooded pads.
I realized the song was giving me a message, I have a BREAKTHROUGH indeed! I got a total miscarriage.
I know that the LORD and the HEAVENS had helped me. I prayed and asked forgiveness for my sins, I thought I made a big mistake, or I was tempted, but I heard a male voice saying, "IT'S PART OF THE PLAN. IT'S MY WILL."I said, "YOUR WILL BE DONE FATHER, ON EARTH AND IN HEAVEN..."
"It won't happen again. I don't want them to touch you again." I heard a Male Voice spoke.
On day 2, DAY 2: Feb 9, 2025, I have a dream, and in the end, I heard a male voice speaking, "No matter how they change the data, the PICKING TIME is still the same."
I heard a Male Voice speaking again, I can't see him, he said, "SHE IS PURE."
(Maybe he is from afar or near, I don't know)
I kept on remembering the REVELATION verse about the WOMAN and the DRAGON. And I heard male voices speaking, "She fulfilled the prophecy. "Revelation 12 : The Woman and the Dragon" A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2 She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. 5 She gave birth to a son, a male child, who "will rule all the nations with an iron scepter."[a] And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 6 The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days. 7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. 9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him." (Revelation 12 verse)
While I was burning the blooded napkin, on February 10, the 3rd day of bleeding, I said, "EVERYTHING WILL END HERE. I BREAK THE CURSE! THE CURSE ENDS HERE!"I heard a male voice speaking invisibly, "EVERYTHING YOU DO AFFECTS ALL... your every action matters..."I felt that I needed to break a curse to humanity (relating ADAM AND EVE's curse)
As I sat alone inside my room, I heard an invisible female voice speaking, "SHE'S THE PROMISED."
While listening to a music, I heard a male voice saying approving this song, and I have reflected and related to it.
The song is: Rejoice in the Lord by Ron Hamilton and Shelly Hamilton ‧
"God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long
In darkness He giveth a song
O Rejoice in the Lord
He makes no mistake
He knoweth the end of each path that I take
For when I am tried
And purified
I shall come forth as gold
I could not see through the shadows ahead
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead
I bowed to the will of the Master that day
Then peace came and tears fled away
Now I can see testing comes from above
God strengthens His children and purges in love
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care
Through purging more fruit I will bear
O Rejoice in the Lord
He makes no mistake
He knoweth the end of each path that I take
For when I am tried
And purified
I shall come forth
I shall come forth
I shall come forth as gold "
I ended our short relationship, maybe 2 weeks stay and more than a month on and off LDR relationship.
The LORD is telling me, "LET'S MOVE FORWARD."
Inside me is telling, FORGIVE AND FORGET, but don't return to him anymore, to anyone of them.
I stayed home, letting the LORD heal me, waiting for myself to fully recover from my miscarriage, while working from home (remote work).
-February 10, 2025
On February 12, 6am, I slept again and a man showed up to me (a dream or telepathically), he said, "You will crave for me...Anne (Hahanap-hanapin mo ako Anne).
And I answered, " No. I am hurt, I AM PHYSICALLY HURT!" And I woke up.
I heard a Male Voice speaking, it's the Lord, he said, " IT'S A DECOY."