A warm fire crackled softly in the hearth, the only sound in the otherwise quiet house on those cold winter nights. Before dawn brightened the world outside, Kai explored his house on the morning of his fifth birthday. His assessment day.
In the living room, he spotted his mother.
Standing by the window overlooking the front yard, Lila gazed into the night, as if searching for something or someone in the shadows. A memory, a feeling, or even just her son, who she no longer knew.
The candlelight danced on her face, the shadows under her eyes hinting at weeks, maybe months, of lost sleep.
She was mostly silent all evening, and avoided speaking to him, as always. In the quiet darkness, he watched her turn to him. Her expression caused a queasy feeling in his stomach.
She looked at him the way his mother had in his previous life, as he was dying. Disgust. As if he was a stain on the ground she needed to clean. But there was something else, too.
A softness in her eyes.
'Empathy? Guilt? I know it's not love.'
"When you are in the sorting room, be careful." Lila's words, as monotonous as they were, felt more lively than anything to Kai at that moment.
Kai blinked. His thoughts stammered in his head like an offbeat drum.
'She stopped speaking to me before Mari did… Why does this feel like this will be our final conversation?'
Kai shook his head, pushing aside his thoughts and focusing on his mother, who was finally speaking to him.
"Careful? Why?"
She hesitated, her fingers tightening around the edge of the windowsill. For a long moment, she simply looked at him, like she was memorizing his face. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"There's a curse that runs in the blood of our family. And with how you're changing, Kai... Well, it might not happen… but if it does…"
A chill ran down Kai's spine. "If what happens?"
Lila inhaled sharply, as if debating whether to say more. Then she turned to face him fully, stepping closer, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly. Her fingers were cold. Too cold.
Her voice dropped lower, raw with urgency.
"Whatever happens while you're being sorted—if something strange happens, if they say your magic is strange in any way, if they leave you in the room alone…"
She squeezed his shoulders, eyes dark with something that looked like fear.
"Run."
Kai swallowed hard. "Run?"
"You fucking run. All the way home."
The words hit him like a blow to the head.
'Not only is she talking to me, but she's cursing as well? Am I dreaming?'
His mother almost never cursed. She did not do it in front of her children, not in front of anyone as far as Kai knew.
Kai looked up at her, searching for answers in her face.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Lila exhaled shakily, her grip loosening, her gaze flicking toward the door. For a moment, he thought she might finally explain everything, finally tell him the truth. But instead of answering, she forced a thin, wavering smile.
"Just… promise me, Kai. If something happens, you won't hesitate."
His heart pounded.
He nodded.
"I promise."
Her shoulders sagged in relief, but the fear in her eyes didn't fade. Without another word, Kai stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. She was tense at first, but then she held him tightly, her fingers tangling in his hair.
'I just won't touch her skin. That'll be okay, right? I can hug my mum... Right?'
Tears streamed down Kai's face as they embraced for the first time in months.
"I do love you, Kai. Things have been different, but I still love you," Lila joined him, sobbing like a grieving mother.
"I know... I... Love you too, Mum."
Kai felt a fragility in the moment, like holding glass, and held his breath and still, terrified of shattering it.
When they finally parted, she didn't say another word. Taking one last look at her, he retreated, then turned toward the hallway. His chest felt tight.
Leaving his mother to collect herself at the window, he crept back to his room.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, Mari was wide awake, her legs tucked beneath her. The room was almost shrouded in complete darkness, but his eyes were used to it, and the moment he found himself in darkness, Kai used his strengthening magic on his eyes.
She looked up at him, wary.
After a moment's hesitation, Kai sat back, cross-legged, on the wooden floor, keeping his distance. He noticed her fingers clench on the blanket in her lap.
"Hey, Mari," he started, voice steady. "What happens during the magical assessment? Mum and Dad won't tell me. Dad won't even talk to me."
Mari blinked and then frowned.
"That's weird..."
Kai frowned. "What?"
"You always called them Lila and Garrett until recently. Even as a baby!"
"Oh? I guess I did."
Kai thought back. 'When did I start calling them Mum and Dad?'
It had only been after they started acting more like his parents from his last life. After everything with the Collector.
"But you want to know about the assessment?" Mari asked, tilting her head. She tried to sound casual, but he could hear the unease beneath her voice. "Are you scared, little brother?"
"A little," Kai admitted.
"You don't need to be scared!" Mari smiled, but it was strained. "They just put wires on me and a glass screen showed a lot of words about me."
Kai exhaled, nodding. That didn't sound too terrifying.
"Thank you, Mari."
Without thinking, he leaned forward to hug her.
Mari flinched.
Her whole body recoiled, pressing back against the wall, her breath hitching sharply.
"Don't touch me." Her voice was tight, barely above a whisper. "It hurts."
Kai's stomach dropped. He quickly pulled back, holding his hands up. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
She was shaking.
Mari swallowed hard, glancing away as if ashamed. "I didn't mean... I just-"
"I know," Kai said quickly. His voice was flat, but inside, something cracked.
'Will I never touch another living thing again?'
He forced himself to his feet, feeling a leaden weight settle in his chest. Mari kept her eyes down, twisting the blanket between her fingers.
Kai left his room, with nothing but the clothes on his back and the amulet Garrett gave him years ago. As he re-entered the living room, Garrett stood there, consoling Lila with Peter in his arms. Mari slowly approached the room from the hall.
Kai turned toward the door.
As he stepped away from his family, none of them stopped him.
They only watched.
No hugs or kisses goodbye.
Not a single word of advice.
No affection shown.
And as he left the house, he couldn't shake the feeling that this was the last time he would ever see it the same way again.
These people had been his family for five whole years. He received and gave more love to those three people than he did from his original family for thirty-five years.
'I'll come back soon. We'll be a family again. I promise.'