Lily was usually all sunshine and confidence, so her hesitation threw me off. "What's up? Spill it."
"Promise you won't get mad, Big Pervert?" she asked, her voice a bit shaky.
"Yeah, I promise." My gut was already doing flips.
"Seriously, promise? Okay, so, I'm back at my place. Some classmates are coming over for dinner, and... John might be joining us," lily said. "What?" I blurted out, Jack's name hitting me like a ton of bricks.
"Are you okay with that? Should I call it off?" Lily mumbled.
"No, it's not that." My brain was a mess. I wasn't thrilled, that's for sure. I liked to think of lily as being all mine, and the idea of her hanging out with her ex rubbed me the wrong way. But lily was always upfront, and she'd have her classmates around, so it should be fine. Still, it was her ex. was there something she wasn't telling me? I had to trust her. Besides, jack was in Boston and only came back occasionally.
Nothing should happen between them. The more I thought about it, the more tangled my thoughts got.
"So, can they come over tonight?" lily asked, sounding unsure.
"Yeah" I tried to sound chill.
"Thanks, Big Pervert. You're really cool about this," lily said with a laugh.
"Cut it out. So, I won't see you tonight?" I was hoping she'd say ' yes,' but... "It'd be awkward with jack there. how about tomorrow?" lily suggested.
"Alright don't stay up too late," I said, feeling a bit let down.
Even though I agreed, I couldn't shake the unease. It was Friday, and I had plans to get cozy with lily, but now her classmates were coming over, wrecking my plans. I'd be spending the night alone, and her ex would be there too. Was I being paranoid or just too into lily? That night, I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling I kept telling myself not to be a control freak. Meeting a few classmates was no big deal. If I made a fuss, I'd be too controlling. Besides, lily was always honest with me. I had to trust her.
But by 8 PM, I couldn't take it anymore. I made up an excuse and drove to lily's place. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for, or afraid of. I wasn't thinking clearly.
On the way, with the car lights flashing around me, I felt uncertain.
What would I say when I got there? That I was worried? too embarrassing. That I just happened to be in the neighborhood? too ridiculous. And what would I say to jack? But no matter what, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see lily. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was jealousy.
As I drove, I felt uneasy. Even though it wasn't a strenuous activity, by the time I got to lily's building and stepped out of the car, I was panting like I'd been running. Trying to calm my racing heart, I looked into her yard and saw only her little red car and a black Jeep with Boston plates. My worry spiked.
I was about to ring the doorbell but hesitated. Then, I took the spare key from the flowerpot by the door. lily had never used the spare key in front of me, and she didn't know I had found it. I had once left something at her place and couldn't find her, so I discovered it by accident.
I knew if Willa found out I had snuck into her house to spy on her, we'd be in for at least a week of arguing, and at worst, she'd cut me off from any intimacy.
But I decided to take the risk. I was worried they might rekindle their old flame.
I quietly opened the door and found no one on the first floor.
They were probably upstairs in the living room watching TV.
I crept up the stairs, puzzled by the lack of noise.
I suddenly thought, Willa wouldn't be so bold, would she? Her boyfriend was just a few minutes away at school, and she lied about having classmates over just to be alone with jack? Maybe they weren't home, or maybe they went out for dinner. I was just overthinking.
I carefully reached the second floor, constantly listening for any sounds. The living room was clean, with slightly worn-out sofas. It was empty but lit.
So, they weren't home, I thought. Just as I was guessing they had gone out, I heard voices from Willa's room.
They were chatting? I felt a bit relieved. But why in lily's room?
Then I thought, what should I do? Leave or stay? As I hesitated, I heard someone inside say, "Let's go outside. It's too hot here." It was a man's impatient voice.
Hearing someone about to come out, I didn't want Willa to see me, so I turned to head downstairs.
But then I noticed the door to the woman's room and had a sudden thought! The woman named Jan only came home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and her door was broken, it didn't lock!
On a whim, I sneaked into Jan's room. I didn't think about what would happen if I ran into Jan or if she came back. But luckily, Jan wasn't there. The room was dark and messy, with towels, blankets, and underwear scattered everywhere.
I peered through the door's peephole into the living room. Opposite was Willa's door with a little bear hanging on it. In the middle of the small living room was a wooden table and a few sofas. To the left was the staircase and bathroom, and to the right was the balcony. Someone had said he was coming out, but no one had appeared yet.
I strained to hear the conversation inside, hoping to catch something. "No, Jan might come back." Lily's sweet, clear voice was unmistakable.
"No way. Your room is too small, it's a mess, and it's hot as hell," said a guy. I couldn't tell who it was.
"Not good enough for you?" It seemed to be Willa, with a bit of a playful tone, which made me uncomfortable.
Just come out. Stop being difficult.." It seemed to be the same guy. I had a good memory, and I was sure it was John's voice.
I suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
Although the conversation seemed innocent, the fact that lily and jack were alone in her room made me extremely jealous.
"There's no one around. What's the big deal?" jack said.
"No way." Since lily didn't want anyone to see her with jack, maybe she still cared about me? And maybe the other classmates were just running late. Thinking this, I felt a bit better.
"I'm going out." jack suddenly laughed, and lily's door was abruptly pushed open.
"No, stop." Lily's voice sounded a bit displeased, and as the door opened, her voice became clearer.
Two figures emerged. My blood seemed to boil, and I almost had a nosebleed. I felt dizzy and nearly fainted.