By Blessed Kearns
https://postimg.cc/fkq9hCzr
Love as powerful as your Mother's leaves its own mark….to
have been loved so deeply….. will give us some protection forever by J.F Rowlan
Sophia Loren American actress mentioned this, "when you are a
mother, you are never alone in your thoughts. A mother always
has to think twice- once for the child," describing the mothers
feelings towards their child. Then comes the parenting styles/ of
rearing a child, in different culture. And back-grounds. They are
put more effort toward them. This comes with determination, of
bring a life. Rearing this, child needs a formal process. With
strict procedural safeguards and rules to determine what is best
for your child. It might not be perfect but there is nothing on
earth that is perfect. We have all heard that no two snowflakes
are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the
universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the
expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity
to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each
takes a different path. By Steve Maraboli, the Author of so many
books, he is also a radio commentator, and motivational speaker.
Parenting are child is mentioned in detail in the American Psychological Association. This involves, raising a child, from birth
to independent adulthood. Creating a healthy environment that
aligns with one's values. All around the world people have their
own values and believes when it comes to parenting their children.
Then looking at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Abraham was
American psychologists who was very well know, more around
the European countries. Maslow in his 1943 paper "A Theory of
Human Motivation" in the journal, his ideas, and observations of
humans' innate curiosity, some of which focuses on describing
the stages of growth in humans. When I studied this from
New research conducted for the report across 17 countries shows
that women and men across the world have multiple caregiving responsibilities, to children, the elderly, homes, neighbors,
friends, and extended families. Men say they are doing, and want
to do, more but barriers to equal sharing – structural, norm based, individual and financial – remain. Despite many taking on
more caring responsibilities during the pandemic and more countries and companies putting in national care plans, including paid
parental leave, the data reveals too few workplaces support
men's care, too few policies and politicians even consider men's
caregiving, and too few boys grow up seeing it exhibited by their
own fathers. There is now an urgent need to break the binary and
for men and boys to join the 'unfinished revolution' and centre
care as much as women and girls to achieve care equality.
In the South African law, the best interest of a child is a guiding
principle that aims to ensure the well-being and welfare of the
child are provided in family dispute, the court considers a range
of factors to make sure the decisions that promote the child's
physical emotional and psychological development.
Maslow description, the value of a child, that is manly known by
their parents, who would have help them grow. To become a responsible adult in future. All Maslow hierarchy of needs are all
parallel to all parents from childbirth to adult hood. The parents
give their children food shelter and a place they will call home.
Some children are breast feed, at time this could by choice and
times not, e.g. there will no formula.
Choosing the right formula for your baby is essential. To ensure
they receive the necessary nutrition. While individual preferences and needs vary, According the United Nations (UNICEF)
Children Fund breast feeding week, that commemorated, annually from 1 to August is a key opportunity for the United Nations
Children Fund (UNICEF) and its partners, to highlight the theme
for the that year, "Protect Breastfeeding: As a shared responsibility" Despite evidence of positive benefits of breast feeding,
South Africa's exclusive breastfeeding rate stands at approximately 32 %, lagging behind the World organisation's global
target of 50% which counties should reach 2025.
Breastfeeding contributes to the survival, health and wellbeing of
a women, children, and the broader society. It gives the children
the start in life.it also protect babies from common infection disease which can make a difference between life and death-and
boots children's immune systems while ensuring that they have
the key nutrients they need to grow and develop their full potential.
When they reach certain age, you find a suitable a nursey, school
this where they start their journey with your guidance form both.
This is your child, that you protect, showing them love, as they
grow up they will be precious to both of you. You teach them
what is right, and wrong, you teach them values of life, one day
they will be parents.
Piggyback was first used in the 16th century an adverb, "meaning up on the back and shoulders" as in the child was carried
piggyback." Piggybacking may also feature in the context of
play or sport, and evidence of this dates back to Ancient Greece
where games involving piggyback riding were combined with
the requirement of catching or throwing a ball. In the modern
era, wife carrying competitions, where the female participants
ride on the back of their male partners running the race, are popular in some countries. it comes from a phrase of unknown
origin, back is also the list less common advert pic back with a
piggybacked in piggyback on the advert until the 19th century
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, Incorporated is an American company that publishes refence books and is mostly known
for its dictionaries. It is the oldest dictionary publisher in the
United States. By Merriam-Webster
From around 4 to 5 months the baby is more relaxed, when carried on the back- they can look around and see the world from a different perspective the whole front is free to all is needed, cook, eat even shopping //www.didymos sing for their children, before they are even born. Parenting our children differs from each on each continent In Tanzania/Kenya babies are of often wrapped on wearer's back or hip in a traditional kanga cloth; the fabric is spread over one shoulder and under the other and tied in front in a traditional sling pattern. //todaysparents.com>b. In the 1970's nurse by the name Ann Moore created the soft structured carrier, the Snugli, after observing mothers baby wearing in Togo, Africa while working in the peace corps. This made the Ddymos, began creating wraps after being introduced to the Mexican Reboza in 1972.htt://jennijenkins.com the original century when people catch the various goods on their backs or the backs of their animals. This practise's is dated back to the origins of the word "piggyback" stretched back to the mid 16th when people then, was pick pack, since you picked up a pack, and put it on your back. https//people.gowstuffworks.com. Just as bedsharing keeps babies close during the night, baby wearing provides a way to keep them close in the day while parents run errands or work around the house. Rather than a new trend, carrying babies on our back is done everywhere, even in Africa, when baby gets too certain a certain month and when the baby neck appears to be strong. Carrying a baby on a sling has been done for a long period of time although it originated in Africa. Victorian times their tradition carrying a baby became less common among, some Western society. Later parents who don't use a sling notice the instant calming effect of picking up their baby and moving with them, such as transporting a baby in a pram or car seat, as well as holding without moving, also calms a baby over time, but that they work faster in combination. "Parents are the first teachers, shipping minds and hearts with love and wisdom. Youth fades, love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all by Oliver Wendel Holmes. Piggyback was first used in the Ancient Greece adverb, in the 16th century "meaning up on the bag and put on your shoulders" Piggybacking may also feature in the context of play or sport, https//people.gowstuffworks.com. These games involving piggyback riding, were combined with the requirement of catching or throwing a ball. In the modern era. The wife carrying competitions, where the female participants ride on the back of their male partners running the race, were popular in some countries. In Africa children are carried by their mothers backs, from a certain month this done after a few months of the baby birth. (Carrying) a baby is done on regular basis, then the baby gets used to this. Especially when a child reaches a certain month although. In the beginning the child might cry, but later might initiate this too. From around 4 to 5 months the baby is more relaxed, when carried on the back- they can look around, and see the world from a different perspective the whole front is free to all is needed , cook eat even shopping //www.didymos singing for their children, before they are born. in some counties. not in Africa where I grew up. Nursing from my mother's. I am not sure for how long. The reach reveal a child. He believed that children have a real need to feel connected to those around them by Alfred Alder. Parenting styles differs from each and every continent. In Tanzania/Kenya babies are of often wrapped on wearer's back or hip in a traditional kanga cloth; the fabric is spread over one shoulder and under the other and tied in front in a traditional sling pattern. //todaysparents.com>b In the 1970's nurse by the name Ann Moore created the soft structured carrier, the Snugli, after observing mothers baby wearing in Togo, Africa while working in the peace corps. This made the Ddymos, began creating wraps, which were introduced to the Mexican Reboza in 1972. http://jennijenkins.com> Just as bedsharing keeps babies close during the night, baby wearing provides a way to keep them close in the day while parents run errands or work around the house. Carrying babies on our back is done everywhere, mainly In Africa, when baby gets too certain a certain month and when the baby neck appears to be strong. Carrying a baby on a sling has been done for a long period of time although it originated in Africa. Victorian times their tradition carrying a baby became less common among, some Western society. Later parents who don't use a sling notice the instant calming effect of picking up their baby, and moving with them. Such as transporting a baby in a pram or car seat, as well as holding without moving, also calms a baby over time, but that they work faster in combination. Close contact, day and night, is what babies expect biologically speaking. In their first months they need to be fed frequently around the clock. Even when a baby's circadian rhythm develops and their sleep begins to consolidate during nighttime hours, waking during the night for at least their first year is normal. "Parents are the first teachers, shipping minds and hearts with love and wisdom. A mother's arms and father's guidance are a child refuge lives in its storms. A parents love in way whole mater how many times divided", by Mother Teresa. "A life not lived for others is not a life" "I prefer you make mistakes in unkindness" if you find happiness people might be jealous…. I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create a ripple" one of mothers Teresa famous quotes about motherhood. Youth fades, love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all by Oliver Wendel Holmes. While there are undoubtedly there are differences between cultures when it comes to our children there are many differences within them, too. Not everyone in the West thinks a baby sleeping in their own room is ideal. The State of the World's Fathers 2023 (SOWF 2023) report reveals that thousands of women and men across the world are calling for care to be central to their lives, which can only be addressed by a fundamental overhaul of power structures, policies, and social norms around both paid and unpaid care work. The report, coordinated and led by Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice as part of global fatherhood campaign, MenCare, asserts that these changes are critical in order to advance gender equality, recognizing care as the foundation that holds society together and enables it to function. When I was growing up, my mother used to carry me on her back. which, it's called (piggy back) when travelling, as most mothers do, babies can even fall asleep, and this is the way I found easy to calm my babies, when they were crying or feeling very distressed. In the village we never had any beds we all could cramp together in the Kitchen floor. We shared the same blankets. "All families are different, so a wide diversity is OK," says Kuroda about babies. Kuroda and her colleagues have been studying the transport response, an innate reaction seen in many altricial mammals -- those who's young are immature and unable to care for themselves -- such as mice, dogs, monkeys, and humans. They observed that when these animals pick up their infants and start walking, the bodies of their young tend to become docile and their heart rates slow. Kuroda's team wanted to compare the effects of the transport response, the relaxed reaction while being carried, with other conditions such as motionless maternal holding or rocking and also examine if the effects persist with longer carrying in human infants. This is comparison carrying a baby on your back, using a strong towel or cloth. The researchers compared 21 infants' responses while under four conditions: being held by their walking mothers, held by their sitting mothers, lying in a still crib, or lying in a rocking cot. The team found that when the mother walked while carrying the baby, the crying infants calmed down and their heart rates slowed within 30 seconds. The effect was more evident when the holding and walking motions continued for five minutes. All crying babies in the study stopped crying, and nearly half of them fell asleep. But when the mothers tried to put their sleepy babies to bed, more than one-third of the participants became alert again within 20 seconds. For her part, Kuroda co-slept with her four children as a way to adapt to being away from them during the day. "I'm working full time and if I separate the whole night, it's really minimal time for the baby. We can intensely communicate, even in the nighttime. It's real communication and time together. "But she says, as with all parenting choices, people should find what works for them and their baby, rather than worrying too much about what anyone else is doing. "I think the parent and the infant can adapt to each other," she says. "It's like a tango." Kuroda emphasizing about parenting one child. This is globally terms as every parent have different styles of rearing up their children. The key is to think outside the Western box and remembering that your own child has his or her ways of communicating, with you. When they are unwell E.g. when your child unwell or has allergies. These are things you pick up as a parent as they grow. Most parents have experienced frustration when their infants cry excessively and refuse to sleep. Scientists have found that the best strategy to calm them down is by holding and walking with them for five minutes. This evidence-based soothing strategy is presented in a paper published September 13 in the journal Current Biology. Black African families in the UK are parenting in fear of being penalised by authorities due to cultural differences, and institutional racial misconceptions, according to new research published (15 December) in The British Journal of Social Work. In the UK, children learn by pushing boundaries, and community involvement is discouraged – here, parents, rather than neighbours or extended family members, have sole responsibility for their children. Whereas, in Africa you need to look after your own child, there can be relatives that can help however its mainly the parents of that child. There is also discipline your child. Other families send child to a corner to think what they have done, when I grew up there was nothing like that, when you did something which parents, believed was wrong there was punishment for that, physically abuse is what is called by the Western Society. The husband goes to work, and pay for all what is needed, and the women looks after the children, and do all the household chores.eg cleaning cooking for the whole house, My mother used to do that until my sister grew up, so did I. Some Black fathers serve as positive role models for their children, their most at the values of responsibility a discipline and integrity. Children tend to push boundaries everywhere, they start to experience smoking, and at times their will be nobody who smoked, in the family. When they grew up they can meet up with other children who are a very bad influence to your child. When the children get older, they might keep those values or lose them, and what you have taught them, and respect other people around them. Parents do all the work, making sure the baby is clean, and fed. in European countries men also help cleaning the baby when soiled. Both parents woke up at night, when the child gets sleepless nights, basically parenting comes from both parties. While there are undoubtedly there are differences between cultures when it comes to our children there are many differences within them, too. Not everyone in the West thinks a baby sleeping in their own room is ideal. Giving them love, teaching them values, and a purpose in life. To respect the elderly offer them seat whenever they are travelling, and courtesy to them. Cleaning the baby can be challenging, as the baby might have baby rush. This done by both parents. This includes feeding and attending to the baby needs. There are also times when the baby start (teething). This can be difficult time for both, the parents, and the baby. A mother's arms and father's guidance are a child refuge in a lives in its storms. A parents love in way whole matter how many times divided", by Mother Teresa. "A life not lived for others is not a life" "I prefer you make mistakes in unkindness" if you find happiness people might be jealous…. I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create a ripple" one of mothers Teresa famous quotes about motherhood. An article by Andre van Wyk and Jerry Chifamba mention about Constitutional. Cape Town — After South Africa's Constitutional Court upheld a high court ruling that corporal punishment at home is unconstitutional many parents protested that they were raised that way – it's African culture, after all. But is it an African tradition to spank or beat children? And does it produce responsible adults? "No!" says he says. Physical discipline is not rooted in African culture but in colonialism. Studies show that hitting children contributes to domestic and community violence and can even reduce children's intellectual capacity. The problem is global, and its harmful effects are multi-generational. A report by the African Child Policy Forum Violent disciplinary methods including beating is practiced within homes, schools, and communities. ACPF studies indicated that 60 per cent of children in Zambia, Morocco, and Uganda and around half of children in Mali and Ethiopia experienced physical punishment from family members. Mothers, fathers, and older siblings were the most frequent perpetrators in the home setting. Their principal motive was to discipline the child or punish her or him for a misdemeanour. Although nearly 60 per cent of children said that no major harm was inflicted on them, 16 per cent reported that the most recent episode of physical punishment left scars on their body, and 25 per cent that the pain inflicted on them had stopped them from going to school or playing outside the house. However, physical violence against children occurs most frequently in schools. An estimated 92 per cent of pupils interviewed in Togo, 86 per cent in Sierra Leone, 73 per cent in Egypt, 71 per cent in Ghana, 60 per cent in Kenya, and 55 per cent in Senegal and Benin reported having experienced physical violence in schools from teachers or classmates. Where I went for my primary education, children used to fight most of the time. The State of the World's Fathers 2023 (SOWF 2023) report reveals that thousands of women and men across the world are calling for care to be central to their lives, which can only be addressed by a fundamental overhaul of power structures, policies, and social norms around both paid and unpaid care work. There's good evidence, said Wessel van den Berg, who manages a Positive Parenting unit at Sonke Gender Justice Sonke is a South African-based no parenting. The none profit organisation working throughout Africa. "The beating of children was brought to this continent through missionaries and missionary schools, said Sonia Vohito of the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, and the custom became entrenched across the continent. Pre-colonial means of discipline should be remembered and applied, she said. "We need to get back to traditional practices of how children were raised", teaching values through storytelling and illustration. A large study of schools in several West African countries found that where corporal punishment was not practised, pupils scored five points higher, on average, on IQ tests. The findings may also apply to physical discipline at home. "When you're fearful, your adrenaline spikes," said Bower. "Every adrenaline spike kills cells in a developing brain." The report, coordinated and led by Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice as part of global fatherhood campaign, Men-Care, asserts that these changes are critical in order to advance gender equality, recognizing care as the foundation that holds society together and enables it to function. New research conducted for the report across 17 countries shows that women and men across the world have multiple caregiving responsibilities, to children, the elderly, homes, neighbors, friends, and extended families. Men say they are doing, and want to do, more but barriers to equal sharing – structural, norm based, individual, and financial – remain. Despite many taking on more caring responsibilities during the pandemic and more countries and companies putting in national care plans, including paid parental leave, the data reveals too few workplaces support men's care, too few policies and politicians even consider men's caregiving, and too few boys grow up seeing it exhibited by their own fathers. There is now an urgent need to break the binary and for men and boys to join the 'unfinished revolution' and centre care as much as women and girls to achieve care equality. Men-Care members organizations around the world are diverse and work in a variety of context, but we are all aligned and guided by ten core principles, this one of them Children have the right to be parented, and they benefit when more men are directly involved in caregiving. Emphasizes the rights and wellbeing of children. In all aspects of programming and interventions that involve children, there should be a child safety protocol that is adhered to, and an insistence on ethical and meaningful child participation in all aspects of program development, implementation, and evaluation. According to Men care Eighty percent of men will become fathers in their lifetime, and nearly all men will have the chance to be involved in the life of a child or to care for another person. Men's participation in caregiving presents a global opportunity for equality, and improves the lives of women, children, and men themselves. Fatherhood Campaign, that "children who are exposed to corporal punishment regularly have lower educational outcomes than children who are not." To the extent that corporal punishment was used in pre-colonial African societies, he said, it "was exacerbated by the slave trade and by colonial influence on slave-dependent countries. In South Africa, it was exacerbated by the apartheid regime." There was one incident that I can clearly recall, it was on a Friday when that happened, that very Friday I did not go to school for some reasons, unknown, so the following week, I went back to school. There was an assembly point for the whole school which was very far from where I lived. This assembly was from Monday today, before we attended our classroom. During the assembly we used to sing and took the Lord payers, then we all went to our classrooms. I knew few girls, but cannot call them my friends but school mates, we lived very far from each other When the assembly was finished and before the teacher came to the classroom, they explained to me what happened on Friday, in details. And how it happened, they explained everything, that was one of day I hated. I was on that list but thank God I was not at school that day Hallelujah praise the Lord. I was not a school. The teacher had asked them, one question, who was involved in fights? they started naming each other one by one. Then they were Asked to go outside and come back with branch and return back to class. There were desks, which where they were asked to lay on them. According to these girls, the teacher was asking these girls one by one to lay on top of the desk, and was hitting them with the same branch, they took from outside, some had marks it was more visible on the light skinned girl. When I looked at the bruises my I was very scared. Especially when the girls were saying it was going to be my turn. For the very first time I became like a mouse hiding from a cat. I was scared and the whole day roughly I was looking at this teacher with sad eyes, before the class was over, he told everybody, that he was not going to punish me because the girls already so by telling me, about to what happened to them. I was so very excited about this. He believed that children have a real need to feel connected to those around them by Alfred Alder. "An educator's most important task, one might say his holy duty, is to see to it that no child is discouraged at school, and that a child who enters school already discouraged regains his self-confidence through his school and his teacher. This goes hand in hand with the vocation of the educator, for education is possible only with children who look hopefully and joyfully upon the future." ~ Alfred Adler With the Constitutional Court ruling, South Africa becomes the 57th nation to outlaw corporal punishment – but only the fourth in Africa, after South Sudan, Benin and Tunisia. Supporters hope that non-violent discipline at school and at home will help erode a culture of violence in society – including conflicts around elections and sexual violence against women. "When children are exposed to violence in the home, there's a high possibility for a boy when he grows up, to become a perpetrator and for a girl when she grows up, to become a victim", said Isabel Magaya, a researcher at the Centre for Child Law at the University of Pretoria. Divya Naidoo, Child Protection Program Manager for Save the Children South Africa, sought to allay fears of criminal prosecution against parents. "It's not in the best interests of the child to have their parents charged and put in jail" she said. "We're looking at getting those parents some good programming so that they can learn new ways of disciplining children." 1. Spanking is a colonial import; Carol Bower of the Quaker Peace Centre agrees. The Centre's Peace Hub in Cape Town's Khayelitsha township engages youth and parents around issues of family and community violence. "From all the records that we can find, physical discipline of children was not in African culture before slavery," she said. "The missionaries, the colonisers and the slave traders are what brought corporal punishment to Africa." A report by the Africa Child Policy Forum, based in Ethiopia and chaired by former Mozambique President Joaquim Chisano, found that most African children experienced physical violence in schools – an estimated 92 per cent in Togo, 71 per cent in Ghana, 60 per cent in Kenya and 55 per cent in Senegal. A large study of schools in several West African countries found that where corporal punishment was not practised, pupils scored five points higher, on average, on IQ tests. The findings may also apply to physical discipline at home. "When you're fearful, your adrenaline spikes," said Bower. "Every adrenaline spike kills cells in a developing brain." https://thepremiernews.com/ As a parents for this child, you still play a big role by making surer the child goes to school, and has what they need at school, l and how this child progress during that time. They will always need your support even if they are adults. But this time you would not be parenting them. As a parent it's your child regardless of their age. In United Kingdom when a child reaches 18 they are seen as adults in the Society. As they grow they start to notice figure and can respond. They will know each member of the family this will include siblings if any even the other family members They will grow under the parents guidance, There will come time when they chose their own paths sometime it can be a good path and times not, where they loose all the values. In United Kingdom, there are Social Services that gets involved when the child is abused, but where is the thrash hold or what is viewed as abuse by the society? There are extreme abuse that has come to light, then come the discipline where a child can cross boundaries knowing that there are Social Services, at times children can be demanding. When they get older sometimes children lose the way, it's easy to blame parents of not teaching them values of life. At times this would be the case. It is ok to let your child learn from their mistake but try to give them guidance. Being a parent, comes with the immense responsibility, and guiding your child to a young life towards their independence. Weaning them from the breast. I was breast feed by my mother's. I am not sure for how long. In Africa by the villages its normal to breast feed for very long time. There will also be time when you start to be introduce your baby to solid foods Which can take time. Teaching them to use a toilet/ pot for the very time, even encouraging to walk, to see them take the first step, and well finding the right foods for your child. Some children have allergies, this is the way as a parent you will know exactly what is good for your child. Some parents gets unwell due to the stress of bring your child, there pressure, can be overwhelming and they might not cope very well, hence having the natal depression Postnatal depression, also known as postpartum depression (PD), is a type of mood disorder experienced by parents after the birth of a baby. It can affect both mothers and fathers. Postnatal depression (PND) is a universal mental health problem that prevents mothers' optimal existence and mothering. Although research has shown high PND prevalence rates in Africa, including Kenya, little research has been conducted to determine the contributing factors, especially in low-resource communities. How am I going to cope.? The World Health Organisation (WHO) recognises depression as a major contributory to global disability. In 2017, the adjusted pooled global prevalence of perinatal depression, Perinatal depression is a mood disorder that occurs during pregnancy and after childbirth. The symptoms can range from mild to severe. In rare cases, the symptoms are severe enough that a mother and her baby's health and well-being may be at risk. (National Institute of Mental Health) (PN) post-natal depression is a type of depression that many parents experience having a baby. Its a common problem, affecting more than I in every 10 women within a year of giving birth can also affect fathers and partners (www.NHSwebsite) Sub-Saharan African counties, including South Africa, Nigeria and Zimbabwe, have reported even higher rates on Unexceeding 30% of parents who are depressed. In European countries men clean the baby's when they have soiled themselves. But in Africa its always the women job. Both parents woke up at night, sometimes, when the child gets sleepless nights, parenting comes from both parties. When I was growing up, my mother used to carry me on her back. Which, it's called (piggyback) travelling, as most mothers do, in Africa babies at time do fall asleep. This is another way I found easy, to calm my babies, when they were crying or feeling very distressed. In Africa children are carried by their mothers' on their backs, from a certain month this done after a few months when the baby was born Carrying a baby is a norm and done on regular basis, Then the baby gets used to this. Especially when a child reaches a certain month. In the beginning the child might cry, but later might initiate this too. Carrying s baby when they are very distressed, and when they crying this used to help. It made them sleep at times. "It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength."– Maya Angelou https://postimg.cc/cgkMF6Bk https://postimg.cc/yk8WVvBR "We know what we are but not what we may be". By William Shakespeare ****** THE END******