Here I was on the bus again. Life seems like a travel every day though I am certainly no tourist.. might as well be a 'banjaara'. Within all this commotion of trying to understand who I was exactly and what am I doing in life. Where is all this never ending labour taking me to? I heard something.
A voice blabbering perhaps. It was a man, an old man infact who looked mentally unstable. He kept saying random things every now and then. Suddenly, it clicked me, I've seen him before.. same time same bus. Though, today I was the one sitting beside him. As I wondered about his condition, I questioned to myself.. Is he a sufferer or a survivor of something terrifyingly bad. I was well aware I couldn't get an answer to that, not like I was interested.. or maybe I was?
When you live long enough in this world, you learn not to 'care' about other people's business. My thoughts wander back to him again. Everytime I get on to think about how he makes me feel, a tsunami of emotions come flooding my heart.
He loves me for all I know. Yet, there are times when I feel otherwise. Times when he upsets me.. times when I'm not sure of what he is thinking about when he's staring at me. Am I beautiful? I am.. maybe. That's just how I think.. sometimes. Though there is one thing about love and that is that it makes everything look more beautiful. How far is that true? No comments on that. So, the question comes.. he loves me.. but does he love me enough to look at me every time and think I'm beautiful. Or does his eyes and heart do me a favor and make me look prettier for him? Though, there's another truth that follows.. there is always someone better than you.. someone more beautiful, more pretty, more enchanting, or just more interesting?
In my case, he might find everyone he meets more interesting than me. Again I admit, I'm just a boring introvert who doesn't even know how to certainly start a conversation. Is that my fear again? Am I annoying? Is anyone interested in anything I have to say? Or am I even any bit interesting to him?
Even if it is a yes. There comes the truth again… 'there is always someone better than you.'
So.. what makes me special.. to him??