My coat was soaked with water from the rain, now dripping all over my apartment floor. Everything looked devoid of life, even the plants which I took great care to keep alive. No colour, just the same shades of black and white. Without even eating or drinking, I threw the coat on the ground and kicked my shoes off before falling on the couch. Yet, amidst all the sorrow tightening in my chest, a wave of bliss washed over me. The white haired man was kind to me, far too kind than I deserve. Now that I think about it, how did he know my name? We don't wear name badges at the library. Or, rather wore. Too many thoughts, my head hurts. Sleep, I need sleep. Not a difficult feat with eyes tired from crying.
I awoke some time later, not sure of what time it was. My body felt heavy, far too heavy to get up now. It was very dark out, so I assumed at least a few hours passed. But all those worries got interrupted by a sudden creak. My heart dropped to my stomach and the blood thundered in my ears, fear paralysing me and the creaking got closer. My eyes wouldn't open, as if this was sleep paralysis. The heartbeats got louder and faster as the creaking got closer, each step careful and slow. Then, I felt a slight gust of air as the creaking stopped by my couch.
"Do you know what I feel?" If it was possible for a metaphor to explain what I felt I would've used it, but nothing could explain the sheer horror which spread throughout my whole body. It was the voice of the white haired man.
"Oh, you have no idea! I saw you at the library and felt so… so insanely starstruck!' I felt him lean closer to my ear now.
"Oh, Acacius, the things I want to do to you!" It was clear he was two seconds from quite literally moaning that sentence.
"I want to cut you, to lick the blood out of your wounds, to literally consume you." His voice was nothing but a sweet whisper above my ear, his breath hot against my cold skin. My heart was beating faster not because I was terrified, but because I was confused. Confused by how someone could have the same thoughts as me. Should I open my eyes to let him know?
"Of course, you probably would run away from me… but I'd just catch you like a mouse!' He laughed, still breathing on my neck.
"I wouldn't run away." My voice was shaken with fear. He stopped breathing for a few seconds, before letting out a low whimper and bracing himself on the armrest.
"Am I dreaming?" His voice trembled. I turned, as I was laying on my side, and saw him stare directly at me with the eyes of a hungry predator. They swirled with perplexity, his whole body unable to cooperate with his mind.
"If you really want to do those things, I'm right here. Truth is, I got starstruck too after you left while I was still at the library.." I marvelled. Clearly, he was much less calm. Suddenly, he bounced back, standing far away from the couch. Something was wrong.
"I… No, I can't, it's…" He mumbled, voice still trembling. I rose, walking over to him slowly. Grabbing his hands in mine, I gently rubbed them with my thumbs, drawing circles on his pale and rough skin.
"Don't be afraid, I mean I was two minutes ago, but how often do you meet someone with an equally twisted mind?" Nothing more than a whisper, I let go of one hand and reached up to grab his face. He looked at me, first with confusion and fear, but his eyes softened gently.
"Stay the night, whatever your name is." I chuckled at the last part, since I did not even know his name.
"It's Valerian." I stared at him in awe.
"Your name is so beautiful…" He smiled as I said that, running his hand through my hair.
"Your name is also beautiful." Something swirled in his eyes, something sweet yet bloody.
"Come, lay on the couch with me. The bed isn't exactly…" My eyes drifted towards the torn up mattress atop a broken metal frame.
"What even happened to it?" Valerian chuckled, staring at the mess that once was my bed. I placed a hand on my neck, averting his eyes. They burned into my skin like embers.
"Well… I… I don't really know why but…" I struggled to find the words.
"I got insane once, like really insane, and just started destroying everything around me! The memories are blurry, it's like looking through a thick fog…" I blurted out, slowing down as I continued. A tear rolled down my cheek, slowly creeping towards my chin. Valerian raised a hand to wipe it away, pulling me closer before wrapping his arms around me. His scent filled my nose, a mix of oudh and a metallic smell I could only assume the origin of.
"Don't cry, I know what that feels like. You're just as sane as me!" His voice was soft, and as gentle as the summer rain. We stood there for a while in silence, embracing each other and enjoying the moment. At last, we walked over to the couch and lay together, spooning with him behind me.
"Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?" His voice was but a whisper, his breath caressing the skin on my neck. A date? But where? I've never been on a date, what do people do on dates? My time observing people is only a little help.
"Of course, but where? And what would we do?" I asked nervously.
"Anywhere, and anything darling! What about the large weeping willow by the river? We can just sit and chat, or… No, I'll save that thought for later." The tone in his voice shifted at the end, becoming mysterious and near terrorising. The fear that rose in my stomach felt weirdly good. The first part of the date did sound great, I knew which weeping willow he was talking about, and I would be an idiot to not say yes.
"Of course, how could I have forgotten… Humans go and sit under trees, right?" My laugh was laced with nervousness as I sealed my lips shut. You idiot, why did you say that last part? Who even says that? Stop, stop, stop–
"When do you want to go? I was thinking of the morning, we could go and get some coffee first and then go there." There was no disgust, no hinting at it.
"Yeah, that sounds great." I kept my answer short so I didn't say something stupid again. His breathing got slower, and as it faded away I could only feel excitement as we drifted off to sleep.