Since I closed my eyes, I was in a darkness that enveloped my entire body, I felt as if I were floating in a soft river, taking me wherever it wanted, the flow almost reaching my face.
But when I least expected it, I opened my eyes in a different place, I am very scared, I don't know why I find myself in such a strange place, I want to move away, but my body didn't respond.
I see that I'm still small with my poorly cared-for yukata, just like when my sister and I escaped from our home, I could still see the dark stains left by the blood, feeling the nausea that didn't come out at that moment, the fetid smell I could still remember, so fresh in my memory.
"What is this strange place?... It's very weird, where did the forest go? Big sister! Are you here?" I spoke with some strength, I was getting worried, feeling how I wanted to cry.
I didn't want to be alone, just not seeing my sister was making me sensitive, I'm very scared.
I'm very scared.
Agitated, I tried to move again in this position, I wanted to get up from this strange seat.
Everything was polished, I saw how a strange and long thing passed at full speed, I saw the inside, it had people, was it something related to chakra? I don't feel that energy.
"Sister... please come, I'm scared, sister!" I kept pleading, now shedding tears, my hands were trembling, feeling the incessant images of what I did.
Really... sister, come for me.
I beg you.
I closed my eyes tightly, amidst all that place, the only thing I could hear were my painful and pitiful sobs.
I don't even know where I am, I don't have the strength to free myself, I'm completely useless.
A total failure.
I was there for a long time, at least that's how it seemed, suffering in my misery, but I heard a voice that seemed very playful, it was a man's voice.
"Yūji, you're barely four years old and you're already having an adult crisis, seems like you need me where you are?"
Before I raised my gaze, my eyes opened wide when I heard a new voice, I lifted my head sharply when I heard that sentence end and directed it toward the side of my body.
I thought I would see that adult version of myself, but now there was a very tall man, who had a black band around where his eyes should be, white hair, seemingly reflecting the light from this strange place.
He had a mocking and cheerful smile, which made me uncomfortable.
"What are you talking about, sir? Who are you? Have you seen my sister by any chance? I don't know how I ended up here, I have to go back to her! She was so tired and weak... I have to protect her," I wanted to explain, hoping that this man would free me so I could run off to find my sister.
But what irritated me was his answer, it had a tone of teaching, as if he were a teacher. "Ah, now, of course, I don't know your sister, little Yūji, but what do you mean, sir? Don't tell me you don't remember me! I'm your favorite person!" I saw how he sat next to me, although I couldn't look at his eyes, I could feel his penetrating gaze.
"No... should I know you?... Wait" now I started thinking.
Eyes covered.
White hair.
Black suit and white pants.
"You are... that old man who always invades my mind, annoying me! Because of you, I always have a headache!" I wanted to hit him when I remembered, but my body still didn't react.
I almost saw how that old man leaned forward with a gesture that I must say is funny, it seemed as though my comment had deeply hurt him.
"No one has ever said something so horrible to me before..." his voice came out shrill, very screechy and annoying, holding his chest where his heart was, I looked at him with drops of sweat running down my forehead, I think this man is crazy.
"Yes, just as you heard me, you only show up in my mind as a very annoying person, I've wished for you to disappear from my mind so many times... I don't understand it, why do you keep appearing in my mind? Why does it feel like every time I remember you, I'm regretting something?" My gaze began to fade as I spoke.
But I didn't notice how this albino stopped playing, not putting on that silly face that always irritated me, now he looked with huge seriousness, though still with a sad smile, a pity toward me.
"Do you want to know why I keep appearing in your memories?..." Hearing him so serious made me look at him, seeing how he had a bitter smile, I didn't speak, waiting for him to continue, he sighed before speaking again. "I... I'm really not proud of everything I made you go through being so young, truly young, all your suffering, collecting every Sukuna's finger, giving you a burden that was not easy to bear... I really was a terrible teacher, wasn't I? Because after I died, you continued with what was my wish for you, both for Megumi and Nobara." Seeing how his voice was full of repressed suffering, my heart beat fast with pain.
"Megumi... Nobara..." I whispered those names, I froze by those names, seconds passed before I had to tightly close my eyes, now I finally had the movement of my body, but this time, I only brought my hands to my head, letting out a small painful scream.
It was too painful.
My breathing was erratic, the tears came out again, but I didn't care. "Megumi... and Nobara... they..." I lifted my gaze until I reached eyes as blue as the sky itself, this person was looking at me with a gesture that I really didn't expect to see. "You... are... you are, Gojo-sensei?... Is it really you Gojo-sensei?" My voice was broken, I kept crying as I meditated on whether I was truly facing him.
I saw him smile a real smile. "I see your memories have finally returned, truly—whoa!" I didn't even let him finish when I threw myself into his arms, holding him tightly, feeling my hands tremble.
At that moment, I didn't even realize I had already grown, I was no longer the 4-year-old child trapped in that place.
I couldn't notice my sensei's face, but I'm sure it was one so sad and melancholic. "Oh, Yūji, really... you're still a child in this moment," I heard him joke.
But he's completely right.
" You could never cry in front of the guys, nor with anyone, because you were carrying such a heavy burden on your shoulders, you had to be strong, you saw each one die in front of your eyes, but you couldn't cry for them... now your laments and your cries are for them... let it all out, boy, let it go," I heard my sensei speak, as I listened to his words, I kept crying, barely soft sobs that slowly came out of my throat, so fragile it sent chills through me, hiding between my teacher's dark clothes.
My tears, my heartbreaking cries, my resentful pain, I was letting it all out right now, tears for being so weak and not being able to free all the innocent people who died in Sukuna's attacks, heartbreaking sobs for witnessing the destruction at every moment, my resentful pain for having died just when I had a chance to live.
Because my whole life had been in captivity. My whole life was a lie, a vile lie.
" After all... you were a child dealing with adult problems," I heard his sigh, I felt Gojo-sensei's hand on my hair, I hadn't realized that between my laments I had grabbed onto his clothes so tightly that the tips of my fingers had turned white.
My sensei was understanding, I vented all my sorrows, even though I died with a smile, I still had in my shadows my vile sufferings.
I pulled away with swollen eyes, appreciating how Gojo-sensei still had a sympathetic smile. "Do you feel lighter now?"
" Yes... now I think I... feel too light, I really had so much accumulated burden, thank you, sensei," the murmur escaped from my lips, though I gave a brighter smile now.
And again his playful personality returned, just like I knew him. "Don't you feel different now?"
I blinked a couple of times before realizing that I was face to face with him, had I grown?
I looked at my hands and my body, the same clothes from Jujutsu High that I remembered. "Ah, my body..."
" Don't get excited, you may be grown here, but you're still just a little four-year-old, so small and cute," the last part he said with such a sweet tone, I looked at him embarrassed.
" I think... you're right, sensei," it was too good to be true.
I saw again how he became serious, this time noticing how sometimes sadness slipped out, though he hid it perfectly. "Alright, Yūji, looks like you remember at least a few things now, don't you? Now I can explain why I appeared in your mind without wanting to, but first... let me explain what happened after your death." I saw how he sighed, looking worried but not speaking at that moment, I didn't interrupt, waiting for him to continue. "We really wanted to give you a full embrace, but... after reflecting, your life was fleeting, you didn't enjoy your youth, most of it was spent fighting Sukuna and killing curses... as your teacher, how could I allow you not to enjoy your life?" I saw him smile at me, a smile I returned.
Although I noticed how the smile twisted. " I really wished you lived a happy life, that you had a family who loved you, that you valued every feeling, however... after appreciating the little fragments of my essence that I left in your soul, the world you live in now, is much worse than I imagined, I thought you'd reincarnate in another country, not... not that you'd end up in a totally different world! Do you know how Geto mocked me to my face when I showed an expression of surprise?" Now I noticed how his eyes almost bulged and how he got too close to me, way too close.
Of course, I immediately placed my hand on sensei's face and pushed him to a more stable place where there was personal space.
" I really can't imagine it, sensei, and I too, with everything I've been through, at least before my subconscious awakened, I think I've suffered a lot... I lost my family again, at least, this new family I got, my mother died when I was just a baby, my sister raised me until now," I spoke sincerely, making a clear idea of everything I had been through in just four years, I couldn't imagine what would happen next.
The fragments since I was born were in my mind, vivid memories, before awakening, I didn't remember my mother's face... now I could clearly see her when she hugged me and smiled at me.
Both in my previous life and in this one, I've always lost my mother...
" Although, dodging that, I really can't imagine that another world different from where we came from truly existed, where I am now is very ancient, there are no cities or train stations like here," I looked around to see the train station where I appeared, it reminded me when I used my domain expansion against Sukuna.
" That's why I started filtering through your mind, I really didn't want to use a small fragment of my soul to reactivate your subconscious, I thought you were living a good life Yūji, but now... you're facing dangers, I think much worse than the curses," I saw how Gojo-sensei got serious with a worried expression, in my previous life, I never saw him with that face. "Seeing that now your old soul is merging with the new one, in a reciprocal state, is a good sign... mh?" I saw how Gojo-sensei looked at himself, also noticing with surprise how my teacher lit up, small fragments breaking, scattering as little specks of dust.
" What's happening, sensei? Why does it look like that?" I was really worried, I didn't want to touch Gojo-sensei in danger of breaking him, I saw how he now smiled amused.
" Don't you see Yūji? It seems that the essence of my soul that I infused in you is returning to where it belongs, my job was just to revive your mature soul along with the young one in spirituality, my job is done," the smile he had was genuine.
" Sensei! b-before you disappear, do you know anything about Nobara and Megumi? Yuta, Maki? About everyone?" I was scared, with teary eyes as I saw how once again he was breaking apart and particles were floating around him.
" Yūji... you shouldn't worry about them, they're living a good life now," his gaze softened as he looked at the now redhead. "They're doing well, all thanks to you... do you know what my boy Megumi once said?... he's living double, because every moment he enjoys, he does it with the certainty that you would also enjoy it, he also said that... even though he's left alone on Earth, you always accompany him in every memory of yours, he is not alone," even though my eyes were still swollen, the tears betrayed me again, they started to fall helplessly, remembering what I had told Megumi before I died.
" They all thank you, for everything you did for them, for protecting them, Yūji, you did well... you did everything perfectly," sensei's voice was sincere and full of warmth, my legs couldn't hold me and I fell straight to the ground, my tears inconsolable, knowing that they were doing well now, that they no longer had to worry about Sukuna.
" Sensei..." my voice couldn't come out, it hurt to even say one more word.
" I couldn't be happier to have had you as my student, Yūji, I put so much weight in your hands, but, from the bottom of my heart, no longer as the honored one, but as Satoru, I thank you for your sacrifice... on behalf of everyone, for being the world's salvation," I saw how sensei bowed to me with deep respect, making me tremble even more, I couldn't utter a word.
" S-sensei..."
" This time, it may really be a final goodbye Yūji, all those you know will never see you again," I saw how he looked at me with a bittersweet and desolate smile, " but as your sensei, let me give you one last gift, so that you can at least remember this silly man who behaved in a childish way," he mocked himself.
" Sensei, what...?" I saw how his cracked and glowing hand collided with my chest, surprised I saw how, instantly, most of the light that radiated from Gojo-sensei disappeared, the cracks spread with unreachable speed. I looked with a surprised gaze at what was left of the man who, for me, was always the strongest.
" I gave you most of my soul fragment, Yūji, my cursed energy was inherited by you too, I'm sure you'll discover more about the function of that fragment," I saw his radiant smile, happy with what he did even though he was spreading in fragments.
" Gojo-sensei... really, thank you for all... I will miss everyone, all my friends, please tell them I will never forget them... they will always be in my memory " my broken voice revealed my pain knowing this would be the last time I'd see my teacher, but I also gave my best smile.
" Despite the conditions you live in, I sincerely hope that you find your happiness, your purpose in this life, protect those you love... and may you have a long life, Yūji..." there was no more than half of my teacher's body left, his sky-blue eyes looking at me with pride. " Goodbye, Yūji..."
" Goodbye, sensei, even though I won't see you again... your lessons, and everything we went through together with Megumi and Nobara, will be my eternal guide, a legacy that will only endure," I spoke firmly, giving Gojo-sensei a determined smile.
I saw how he smiled, as the crumbling of his face was almost complete. " It's good to know, Yūji... it's good to know."
The last thing I saw of sensei was him giving me a sincere smile.
And I remained in that place with a firm smile, even though the tears fell, remembering that I would never see my friends, my sensei, or everything I knew again.
In the now solitude, I appreciated how the last motes of dust that were Gojo-sensei disappeared in front of me, dancing in the air.
One last reminder that these particles, in them, would never manifest again.
My previous life... vanished like those particles.
This time... I will begin anew.