Severus cursed everything. Everyone. Each, separately and together. The whole world, worlds, galaxy, planets. Everything—alive, dead, and unidentified.
Granger. Potter. Minerva. Kingsley. Albus. The Dark Lord.
The last two, especially—and with greater intensity. He hated them all.
He drank and thought. Constantly. The fucking brain of such a base creature as a man. Sooner or later, with or without Occlumency, it begins to wind, unwind, and develop stupid thoughts. Thoughts about possibilities, about chances, about fate.
That if Severus had survived, it was a sign. That it might be destiny. A calling. That he owed something to this filthy world again—that he had not yet served his purpose.
The empty bottle flew into the wall. Shards scattered across the floor.
There had been no food for four days.
And Severus hated himself. More than anyone else, of course. He probably never even stopped. But right now, he increased the intensity.
He despised himself. Harmed himself. Cut his skin and drowned his thoughts, because his once-brilliant gift of Occlumency was failing.
Severus—Merlin, the Draccle would tear him apart—was worried about Miss Granger. That idiot had stopped coming, stopped cooking for him, stopped bothering him with her awkward bird.
Severus should have been glad of that. He had insulted her every time, told her to leave. And yet, there was no way that arrogant Gryffindor would actually do as he said.
Something was off. A catch.
And it irritated him to the point of exhaustion that he was even thinking about it.
The old idiot. How pathetic he had been. How... stupid.
He was a laughingstock.
Still the same kid who had never been friends with anyone in his youth. The slightest attention, the smallest regularity, a bit of kindness—he had sold his soul to a buyer again.
Only now, it was no longer needed.
He was alive.
He was alone.
And the purpose of his existence seemed to be the same as always: to do the nasty work for others, so they wouldn't get dirty.
---
Severus was awakened by the scent of oakleaf geranium and a draught.
"Oh, Severus, for Merlin's sake!" Minerva burst out, slamming the door too loudly. "How much more?!"
"Don't yell like that," Severus muttered, struggling to push himself up on his numb arms.
"What do you smell like?" He winced. "Do I smell like that?"
Minerva looked at him, surprised. "You stink worse than the tramps in Knockturn Alley."
"Have you come to insult me?"
"I've come to get you out of this hole," McGonagall said firmly. "Get up and get ready."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Don't act like a capricious child!" Minerva pulled out her wand and sent a Scourgify at him.
"You're losing your touch," she added sullenly.
"I let you point the wand."
"You'll find comfort in solitude. Get up."
"Minerva," Snape hissed menacingly, but she cut him off.
"I won't listen to you," she snapped. "If you don't want me to drag you out of here by force, get up and go."
Severus raised an eyebrow at her audacity.
"I'm glad we came to an agreement."
This woman. She didn't seem to care that Snape was a Death Eater—that he had tortured, killed, dismembered. He was deadly. And yet, for her, he would always remain a student. A child. A ward.
Even during the war—that terrible year of his headmastership—she had seen and known perfectly well that he had done it all in spite of everything. Out of necessity. Through force. Through pretense. For the sake of the future.
"And where are we going?" he asked wearily.
"Wherever I tell you."
"Just fine," he muttered under his breath, standing up and brushing off his dirty jacket.
A dry chuckle echoed nearby.
"And what are your plans for the day? Smoking, drinking, self-flagellation?"
"It's none of your business."
"Don't you dare be rude to me, Severus! I'm older."
"For Merlin's sake," he growled, pursing his lips. "Lead the way while I'm still in a state of affect."
As soon as he took a step, Minerva's raised wand sent another burst of sparks his way. His torn, filthy robes transformed into a frock coat.
The same one he had worn before.
"How generous of you," Severus drawled, oozing venom. "Afraid I'll disgrace you?"
"Now you also allow me to point a wand at you?" Minerva shot back mockingly. "Give me your hand."
"Are you asking me to dance?"
"Don't be impudent, Severus. I'm sure you haven't Apparated in a long time. Do you want to lose a leg?"
"Don't compare me to your snot-nosed schoolboys, Minerva. And hurry up—you've already wasted a minute."
"Holy shit," McGonagall muttered, grabbing Severus's arm.
A sickening jerk in his stomach.
The world shrank. Spun. Shrunk again.
Through the rush of noise in his ears and the flashes of color behind his eyes, he made out the final destination of their journey.
The moment they landed, he tore free from Minerva's grip and roared.
Like a wounded, caged animal, he turned on her. Moved away.
A dome of radiance flared around him. The entire field was instantly covered in protective charms. A barrier—anti-Apparition.
"How dare you?" Severus hissed through clenched teeth. "It's too dirty, Minerva."
"I won't keep you here longer than half an hour."
"I said I wasn't coming back!" he shouted, furious.
"I have something to show you."
"I don't care. I made it clear—I'm not interested in Hogwarts."
"Give me half an hour, Severus."
"Remove the barrier."
"Come with me, or I'll force you to."
"You already have," Snape growled, stepping forward and drawing his wand. "You brought me here by force."
"Are you challenging me to a duel?" Minerva asked coolly, her gaze unwavering.
"Don't forget who you are and who I am."
"You are my friend, Severus," she said softly, making him twitch for a moment.
"You are the one I care about. The one I worry about. Drakle rip you apart, you brainless idiot. Do you think I can exist in peace knowing that the greatest wizard of our time is killing himself with cheap booze and living in a barn?"
"Stop the pathos."
"Come with me, Severus." Minerva reached for his hand, her thin fingers pressing against his rough palm. "Just give me half an hour," she pleaded. "And I promise I won't bother you again."
"How do you plan to surprise me?" he snapped, but he gave in.
Reluctantly. Sullenly.
Slowly and heavily.
"And don't hold me like a first-year, for Merlin's sake," Severus grumbled, struggling against her grip.
Minerva, once again facing the castle, kept walking.
A whistle of magic made her pause.
Snape narrowed his eyes. "I don't want to be noticed."
"As you wish, but it's only five-thirty in the morning," she shrugged. "The castle is half-empty—everyone is asleep."
"Five in the morning?" Severus frowned, looking around.
Minerva had pulled him out so quickly, he hadn't even realized what time it was.
As they approached the gates, his pace slowed.
Great Salazar, let this end soon.
He had sworn—sworn—that even if he lived, Merlin forbid, he would never return here again.
Hogwarts was forever defiled by his foul actions.
The children he had sworn to protect had screamed, cried, died within these walls.
Tortured before his eyes, while he stood and smiled.
Suffered and played the part.
Better to let Minerva show him whatever she wanted—so he could leave.
Forever.
"Come in, Severus," she murmured.
His foot crossed the threshold.
And in an instant—magic rushed through his veins.
---
The right wing. The Astronomy Tower. The dungeons. The prefects' tower. The left wing. Even the Black Lake.
Every area. Every section.
Every classroom, every storeroom, every laboratory, every hall—he felt it all.
"The castle still recognizes you as Headmaster, my boy," Minerva said quietly.
"And the post is rightfully yours."
As if struck by a spell, Severus recoiled—then threw off the charm and pointed his wand at her face.
"Don't you dare use the same vile tricks Albus used to restrain me! Don't you dare!"
"I'm not trying to harm you, Severus."
"For Merlin's sake, Minerva, it hasn't even been three months since I was freed from these bonds! Do you think I'll fall into the same trap again?"
He expected Minerva to press on, to manipulate him like everyone else had.
But she only sighed.
And then—
"How I have wronged you, Severus."
A second.
Two.
Then, slowly, she looked at his left forearm.
"I should never have let you do that twenty years ago."
"Stop it," Severus growled through clenched teeth.
"I don't want to hear about it."
Minerva studied him. Slowly. Carefully.
As if seeing him for the first time.
"Minerva, don't make me use force."
"They won't let me reinstate you, Severus," she murmured. "I've already tried."
"Stop it."
"But if we show them the castle only recognizes you—"
"Minerva. I said no."
The sun rose over Hogwarts.
And the walls remembered.
The blood. The screams. The deaths.
Severus exhaled shakily.
The Occlumency walls locked back into place.
It was closed again.
"You have approximately…" Severus glanced slowly at his watch. "Nineteen minutes. Would you like to spend them drinking tea?"
"I like tea."
He said nothing. And Minerva said nothing.
They simply remained silent.
Eighty-three seconds.
"Did you call me just to keep quiet?" Severus was the first to break.
"I heard your request for the rights to the castle," he continued, "but I need to think about it. Or have you found a way already?"
McGonagall shook her head. "No," she sighed. "I haven't."
"But you were thinking about something."
"I was."
Severus sighed in irritation and leaned against the door. "So?"
"Stay here until we find a way."
"Minerva," he began angrily, "I have told you several times that—"
"It is a request, Severus."
That phrase carried weight. Physical weight.
In an instant, he was towering over her, fingers gripping the arms of her chair, his breathing ragged and loud.
"Do not try to manipulate me," he said through clenched teeth.
"I am asking you," she replied, calm and steady.
"It's peaceful here for the first time since the war, Severus." She hesitated before adding, "Now."
"The castle doesn't hurt me while you're inside."
"Take some painkillers if you have a migraine."
"Severus, I ask as a friend."
He growled in frustration.
A friend…
Snape smirked, irritated. Friendship. That damned friendship. How he hated the very concept of having feelings. How he hated his own weakness—his worthlessness.
Friendship.
"I won't tell anyone," Minerva continued. "You'll be alone, just like in your... house"—she had difficulty calling his shed a house—"on your own. Only while we search for a way."
"And what's in it for me?"
Snape's voice turned sharp, cutting. He was rude—habitually, instinctively.
"I can pay."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake," he grimaced, straightening up. "Then what do you want?"
"Death?"
"Stop it," Minerva snapped, pushing herself out of the chair irritably.
"Since we still have," she turned briefly, "ten whole minutes…"
Snape rolled his eyes.
"Go to your old quarters. Think. Look. Decide."
"Minerva," he hissed like a snake, "I have decided. No."
McGonagall threw up her hands, sighing wearily.
"You are unbearable."
"It is an honor."
Minerva pressed her lips together, silent. She had failed again.
"Let me know when you figure out how to transfer the castle's rights."
"I don't have an owl."
"Then I'll return in a week."
Severus nodded.
He glanced at her one last time, then opened the door and nearly left—
"Severus."
He paused.
"Yes?"
"I could have removed the barrier myself," he said flatly. "As Headmaster. From the start."
"Of course."
Suppressing a smirk, Severus finally left.
---
He stood in the corridor.
The sun had fully risen now, its light filtering through patterned windows, casting long shadows against the stone walls.
Beautiful.
Snape remembered how, as a child, he had admired these very patterns. In the mornings. At night.
And now?
Now, the most disgusting feeling of all—nostalgia—curled inside his blackened heart.
Cursing Minerva, the world, and himself more than before, he moved toward the dungeons.
The path was quick—too quick.
The castle was playing with him.
And winning.
Cheating.
His robes fluttered behind him—as always. His steps were silent. The air was sharp, cold.
He missed it.
The hippogriff would take him.
He missed these stone walls, this freezing air. The steam from the cauldrons, the scent of dried leaves—even the legs of spiders skittering in the shadows.
Severus entered his office without a sound.
Through the lecture hall, past the rows of desks.
Straight to the laboratory.
The place where he had lived, where he had breathed.
Severus had hated teaching. Hated those dull, narrow-minded students.
Only a few in twenty years had been intelligent enough to matter.
No matter.
He was walking into his old world.
His haven.
One more step—
And Severus froze.
Sounds.
Strange. Muffled.
Coming from the other side of the laboratory door.
His fingers clenched around his wand.
Slowly, carefully, he peered inside.
---
"Age, quod agis."
Brown hair.
Grapevines.
She's alive.
And she's at Hogwarts.
Of course she is.
"Aut Caesar, aut nihil."
An upstart.
An arrogant thorn in his almost peaceful, almost free backside.
Where else would she be?
Severus approached without a sound.
The scent of marigolds and jasmine.
The frantic pounding of her heart in her small chest.
He felt like an animal.
Like he had cornered his prey in a cage.
Severus breathlessly murmured the password:
"Vim vi repellere licet."
And his little bird shuddered.
---