The next few days passed in a blur for Joey. He tried his best to keep the peace around Rael, keeping their conversations light, even though he could feel the weight of the unspoken rivalry between Rael and Rishi pressing on both of them. Rael had returned to his usual self for the most part, but Joey knew better than to think that it had all been resolved.
It wasn't just the way Rael avoided Rishi, or how his gaze would flicker with something Joey couldn't quite place whenever Rishi walked into the room. It was the way Rael would get quiet whenever someone mentioned the past—his past with Rishi, his unspoken feelings, and the hurt that still clung to him like a shadow.
It was a rainy Tuesday when things finally started to crack.
Joey had been sitting in the library, doing his best to focus on his assignments when he noticed Rael standing by the window. The rain was coming down in sheets, the world outside a blur of gray, but Rael seemed mesmerized by it, his eyes distant and pensive. Joey couldn't resist the pull to walk over, even though he wasn't sure if Rael was ready for another one of those heavy conversations.
Rael didn't notice him approach until Joey was right behind him, and when he did, he stiffened for just a moment, but then relaxed.
"You're staring at the rain like it's some kind of mystery," Joey said, his voice light, trying to break the tension. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
Rael didn't look at him immediately, and for a long moment, there was silence. Joey didn't push. He was learning to give Rael the space he needed, but sometimes, Rael surprised him.
"I used to come here a lot," Rael said softly, his gaze still fixed on the rain outside. "When I didn't know what to do… when I was trying to figure everything out."
Joey tilted his head, genuinely curious. "What were you trying to figure out?"
Rael turned his head slightly, meeting Joey's eyes. There was a hesitation there, a wariness that told Joey there was more to this than just the rain. Rael sighed, letting the words slip out before he could stop them.
"Rishi and me," Rael said, his voice almost a whisper. "I didn't know how to make sense of it. I didn't know how to deal with the fact that he could never love me the way I wanted him to."
Joey didn't know what to say at first. The words were so raw, so vulnerable, that it left him almost speechless. He wasn't sure if Rael was even talking to him anymore, but he couldn't ignore the pain in his voice. Joey had always been the type to find a solution, to fix things, but this? This was something he couldn't fix with a joke or a clever remark.
"What happened?" Joey finally asked, his voice softer now, almost coaxing.
Rael's eyes turned back to the window, his expression unreadable. "It was never meant to happen. I was just… a distraction to him. When things got hard with his family, when he couldn't handle the pressure of being the perfect son, he'd come to me. He needed someone to listen, someone to care. But it wasn't love, Joey. It never was."
There was a long pause before Rael continued.
"I thought… I thought if I was patient, if I waited long enough, he'd see me the way I saw him. But it never happened." Rael chuckled bitterly, as if the weight of the years had finally caught up with him. "And now, here I am, stuck in the same place I was back then. I still can't get past him, not completely."
Joey swallowed hard, trying to absorb everything Rael had just said. This wasn't something Rael had talked about before—not this openly, not with this much hurt spilling through his words.
"I didn't know," Joey said, his voice barely audible, though it was thick with emotion. He'd known Rael was holding onto something, but he hadn't known the extent of it. How much had Rael been suffering in silence, carrying this burden alone?
Rael shrugged, almost nonchalantly. "It's fine. You don't have to feel bad for me. I've gotten used to it." He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "I'm good at hiding it, right? That's what I do. I hide."
Joey didn't respond right away. He was trying to process the weight of Rael's words, but more than that, he was wondering why this was affecting him so deeply. Why did it hurt him to see Rael in so much pain?
"I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, but I can't just stand here and watch you suffer in silence," Joey said quietly. "You deserve to be happy, Rael. You deserve more than just waiting around for someone who can't give you what you want."
Rael shook his head again, his eyes dark. "It's not that easy, Joey. I can't just turn off my feelings. It doesn't work like that."
Joey stepped closer, placing a hand on Rael's shoulder. "I know it's not easy. But it doesn't mean you have to carry it all alone. I'm here, okay?"
For the first time in a long while, Rael seemed to soften, just a little. He turned his head, meeting Joey's gaze with a faint smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Thanks, Joey," Rael said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I don't know if you can fix this. This is something I need to figure out on my own."
Joey didn't argue. Instead, he gave Rael's shoulder a light squeeze, silently promising that he wouldn't let Rael carry this burden alone, not if he could help it.
As they stood there in the silence that followed, Joey couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning. Rael had confessed something deep and personal, something Joey had never expected to hear. But more than that, it was clear now that Joey wasn't just here for the mission. He was here for Rael, for the person he was, for the person Joey was starting to fall for, whether he was ready for it or not.
And as the rain continued to pour outside the library window, Joey realized that he didn't have all the answers. He couldn't fix everything. But he was willing to stay, willing to help, no matter how complicated things got.