"Do you think that we lost him?" Emilia worried. Her voice trembled.
"I don't know," Subaru sighed. "I hope so. But right now, there's nothing that we can do but keep running and hope that he doesn't find us."
"I hope that Sylvie and all those other poor women are OK," Emilia whispered.
"They will be," Subaru assured her. "They have a long head-start, and Regulus is probably too furious at us to even think about looking for them."
"Gee! That's really comforting!" Felt spat.
Subaru gave a weak chuckle as they thundered up the road to the northeast. "Alright, Mili. I have good news. We know where the spirits are. They're being held in Priestella. We're going there to save the spirits and then restore everyone's memories of you!"
"Get out of my way!" Regulus screamed. The only reason he even hesitated to obliterate Aldebaran was his worry that if he did, he'd collapse the bridge. After being buried in a deep pit for half an hour and struggling to claw his way out, Regulus wanted to avoid repeating that mistake. Subaru and Emilia already had a large head start on him.
"Look, I just want you to deliver a message for me," Aldebaran said in a placating voice. "And in exchange, I'm willing to tell you where Subaru and Emilia are going."
Regulus 's expression grew rap. "You know where they are?" He whispered.
"Yeah. But if you want my advice, I wouldn't chase after them. This situation will only end badly for you. How badly depends on what you do next."
"Tell me where they are!" Regulus thundered, barely listening to Aldebaran. "Tell me where they are and-"
"And you'll deliver my message?" Aldebaran reminded him.
Regulus stared at him. " What ? Did you just interrupt me? " He asked in a deadly whisper.
Aldebaran shrugged. "Well, I really didn't have much choice," He apologized. "You wouldn't stop talking, and we both have other things to do today, after all."
"Stop talking, you infuriating knave!" Regulus screamed, "The only voice that should ever be heard in my presence is mine unless you are answering a question that I directly posed you! Now tell me-"
"You know, I don't think that you're being very reasonable here," Aldebaran said casually. "All I want is for you to deliver a message. You could have just accepted the task and already been on your way by now."
Regulus was momentarily speechless. "You interrupted me again ! " He screamed.
"Yeah, sorry about that," Aldebaran apologized. "But in my defense, you do talk an awful lot. It's hard to get a word in edgewise without interrupting. You're not much a conversationalist, you know."
Regulus saw red. He inhaled through clenched teeth. "Do you have the faintest idea of who I am?! I am Regulus Corneas, a Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult representing Gree-"
"Yeah, I actually do know who you are," Aldebaran replied. "We know some of the same people. As a matter of fact-"
"I will not hear one more word from your lips! You have abused my rights, and you will suffer the consequences!" Regulus roared.
Regulus no longer cared about how badly he needed Aldebaran 's information. The stranger in the odd helmet would die. And then Subaru and Emilia would die. Everybody would die. When he was through, Regulus would be the only living being left on this world. A perfect world just for him.
Aldebaran sighed. "Do we really have to do this? " He asked in a pained voice.
"Begging will do you no good now!" Regulus snapped.
"Eh, I'm not really much of a beggar. I never found that it did me any good," Aldebaran mused.
"Silence!" Regulus roared. "You disgusting, ignorant knave!"
Aldebaran sighed. "I guess there's no avoiding this then. Oh well. But then again, you do seem like the sort who learns best through… experience. "
Aldebaran gently extended his hand toward Regulus. His thumb and first two fingers made an 'L' shape. "Know Despair," Aldebaran whispered, his sardonic voice for once deadly serious.
"You!" Regulus hissed venomously. "You disgusting, despicable man! I will teach you what it means to insult the most exalted existence in the world!"
"Well, can you hurry it up?" Aldebaran asked with a sigh. "I'm a slow learner even under the best of circumstances, and this is already taking longer than I'd hoped."
Regulus screamed in fury. He bent down and picked up a handful of gravel, which he flung at Al.
Aldebaran disintegrated, vanishing like a mirage. The tiny stones, fueled by Regulus 's Authority, became unbreakable, unstoppable missiles that bored through stone, wood, and flesh with equal facility. All that was left of Aldebaran was the hilt of a broken sword. The entire bridge was scoured clear, and half of the support pillars were destroyed.
Regulus seethed. The bridge under his feet groaned in protest, seemingly ready to give way, but Regulus didn 't care.
Regulus spent a moment fuming over Aldebaran 's insufferable insolence that had denied him the information on Subaru and Emilia's location that he so sorely needed. Now, he'd have to search the entire region personally!
Regulus frowned as the shards of Aldebaran 's broken sword lying on the ground started to glow with a golden light.
A moment later. Regulus realized that it wasn 't just the sword . Everything around Regulus was glowing with the same golden light. The world around him dissolved into glittering sparks that took flight and whirled around Regulus like sand in a tornado. Then, the glowing sparks settled, and the glow faded away. The world reformed, looking just as it had before.
"Know Despair," Aldebaran murmured in the exact same tone.
"You!" Regulus hissed venomously. "You disgusting, despicable man! I will teach you what it means to insult the most…" He trailed off.
"Wait. What just happened? What's going on?" Regulus asked in confusion.
Aldebaran shrugged. "Well… it sort of depends on how you look at it," He said pensively. "People think of time as something that flows as smoothly as the grains in an hourglass. But take it from me; it's a lot more like the desert during a sandstorm."
Regulus shook his head furiously. "I will not endure this any longer! I have been pushed beyond all patience, and I will be rid of your-"
"Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?" Aldebaran complained. "I mean… seriously. Until yesterday, I used to work for someone who was thoroughly in love with the sound of her own voice, but you, buddy, are something else. You're constantly talking, but you never actually say anything."
Regulus bent down and grabbed another handful of dirt. "Be silent ! " He roared, throwing everything at hand into Aldebaran's face until the entire bridge exploded like a bomb.
Regulus found himself falling through the air toward the canyon floor hundreds of feet below.
Despite the devastation all around him, Regulus felt only a seething fury that he 'd need to work his way out of another deep hole in the dirt. He was just glad that the infuriating stranger was finally dead. It soothed his rage somewhat.
But now he had to find the detestable Subaru and the miserable elf girl again.
Regulus was still mulling over how he could locate them when he felt his fall toward the ground inexplicably slowing. The entire world around him dissolved once more into glittering sand. Regulus was caught up in the sandstorm and then the sand settled as the world reformed.
Regulus blinked in shock. He was once again staring directly at Aldebaran. He was back on the bridge that he had just destroyed, and it was completely intact.
"Know Despair," Aldebaran murmured.
Regulus stared at Aldebaran in shock. "What is happening here?! " He demanded.
Aldebaran shrugged. "Like I said, it's… kind of hard to explain. See, this is the Path, and I need to follow the Path. And as long as I hold you here, so do you . "
Regulus stared at Aldebaran, his expression baffled.
Then, his face twisted in frustration, and he snarled at Aldebaran. "Enough! I will not accept this any longer! I am done with this nonsense! "
Regulus took a step toward Aldebaran, and then he leaped. He leaped well over forty feet into the air and a hundred feet forward. He jumped clear over the bridge, leaving Aldebaran far behind.
Regulus landed gently on the ground, and he quickly brushed off his immaculate clothing.
"Everyone is getting in my way today," Regulus growled more calmly as he continued onward, searching for Subaru and Emilia. "I need-"
Regulus was cut off as the world around him once again dissolved into a sandstorm. When it ended, Regulus found himself staring directly at Aldebaran.
"Know Despair," Aldebaran intoned.
"What is this?!" Regulus screamed in frustration.
Aldebaran cocked his head. "You know, you've already asked some variation of that same question three times," He criticized. "Why even bother asking it if you won 't invest any effort at all into understanding the answer?"
Regulus wrenched at his hair. "I can't kill you! I can't obliterate you! I can't even walk away from you! "
"Yeah. Fate can be a real bitch sometimes," Aldebaran said sympathetically. "Trust me, I know. For every situation, there's only one way in and one way out…"
"What does that mean?!" Regulus exploded.
Aldebaran shrugged. "I thought that I was being fairly clear. You've made some very bad decisions recently… well, I guess you've actually been making terrible decisions pretty much your entire life. But the ones that you made today were the worst . You 're not going to emerge from this little showdown in one piece, Regulus. You're going down."
"You disgusting, arrogant bastard! You think that you can avert my sovereign right to go where I choose! I ask noth-"
"You're rambling again," Aldebaran sighed. "And you're not wasting anyone's time but your own. Or mine, I guess, but in a funny way, I have infinite time. I suppose I just don't really value it anymore."
Regulus choked on his own rage. "I am going to crush you! And then I will destroy the insufferable Subaru and recapture the detestable elf, " He snarled between clenched teeth. "You can not stop me! I will tear you limb from limb!"
"Sure thing," Aldebaran shrugged. "Knock yourself out."
Regulus panted for breath. Over and over again, he 'd used his power to demolish everything in sight, but somehow, the destruction kept being reversed.
This is impossible! Regulus thought, feeling like he was going mad. No matter how many times I kill him, the world keeps resetting!
"You know, after the hundredth time that you obliterate me, it kind of loses its sting," Aldebaran commented.
Regulus stared at Aldebaran, and a feverish gleam appeared in his eyes. "Wait a second. It's you ! "
"Yup. It usually is."
"You trapped me in this hellscape, so that means that you can get me out of it!" Regulus exclaimed in delight.
"Right again," Aldebaran said calmly. "But… seriously, did you only just now think of that? We've been doing this for hours."
Aldebaran 's stoic reaction briefly threw Regulus off-step. "Release me right this second, or you will suffer beyond your imagining," He threatened.
"Trust me, Regulus," Aldebaran said with a sigh. "I already know plenty about suffering. As for the rest of it, the answer is 'no.'"
Regulus seethed. He leaped forward and seized Aldebaran by the neck, slamming him face-first into the stone bridge with shattering force.
Aldebaran lay broken on the ground, a pool of blood spreading around him. His body had been almost flattened by the force of the impact.
"Set me free!" Regulus roared.
Aldebaran either wouldn 't or couldn't answer. A moment later, his labored breathing stopped, and the world began to glow and dissolve into sand again.
In seconds, the sands of time had settled, and Regulus was again staring directly at Aldebaran.
"Know Despair," He said in the same tone as before.
Regulus 's face had a wild grin on it. "Set me free this instant, or I'll torture you again and again ! "
"OK. Have fun with that."
"Argh!" Regulus howled in frustration as the world reset once again.
Aldebaran stretched. "You know, that last death was particularly brutal. Well, props for creativity, I guess."
Regulus had never been so angry in his life. He 'd destroyed everything around him, but the ludicrous stranger refused to stay dead or even show the smallest amount of fear of him.
Regulus slammed his foot down on the ground, barely remembering to hold back his power so that he wouldn 't destroy the bridge and reset the world again.
Regulus slammed down one foot and then the other until he was literally dancing with fury. "This isn't fair ! You 're cheating ! " Regulus screamed.
Aldebaran studied him. "Wow. I really hope that you can appreciate the full irony of that statement. "
"Let me out of here!"
"Yeah, I can't do that," Aldebaran reminded him helpfully. "Your choices have already straightened and narrowed your life's Path. There are no more forks or off-ramps. Now it's just a question of how far you can go before you finally break down."
"What are you babbling about?" Regulus screamed. He sounded like a child throwing a tantrum.
Aldebaran shrugged. "Well, I'd explain the Path to you again, but we've already talked about it so much that I figure belaboring it any further would be kind of pointless."
Regulus 's expression grew trapped. He looked around him as if desperately searching for an escape.
"This… This is all a trick!" Regulus said defiantly, bracing his back against one of the bridge's support columns as though he expected Aldebaran to lunge at him any second. "It's not real!"
"Well, a wise man once said that time was just an illusion. Albeit a very persistent one," Aldebaran said in a helpful voice as he started kicking pebbles off the bridge and watching how far they fell.
"This is impossible," Regulus whispered. "No matter what I try, nothing ever changes."
"Oh. Believe me, I totally feel you there," Aldebaran remarked.
"Could you stop making clever comments and try to be useful?!" Regulus exploded.
"I am being useful," Aldebaran said matter-of-factly. "It just so happens that the useful thing that I'm doing right now is slowly reducing a pathetic, frightened man-child to dust."
Regulus stared at him incredulously, and then his rage flared up. "You disgusting maggot! I'll tear you to pieces!" His fury was now tinged with desperation.
"We've already danced this dance a thousand times, Regulus," Aldebaran said, sounding bored. "It's almost funny the way that you still think you can change the steps."
"I could try going back to the mansion," Regulus whispered to himself. His eyes were haunted, and his body was twitching. "Or did I already try that? Did I? No, I tried running toward Garkla. Maybe if I go the other way, I can break out of this twisted spell."
"What's the matter, Regulus? Running out of ideas?" Aldebaran asked mildly. "You know it would almost be funny to watch you struggle if it wasn't so boring."
Regulus stared at Aldebaran, his eyes wide and his face terrified. "Set me free!" He demanded, his voice growing frightened.
Aldebaran just laughed. "Why should I?" His voice shifted from calm and sardonic to taunting and cruel. "There is nothing that you can do to me, Regulus. You 're completely powerless against me."
For the first time, Aldebaran moved toward Regulus. He approached him with a calm, confident stride.
Regulus cringed and staggered backward.
Regulus tripped and landed on the ground, scuttling backward, desperately trying to escape from Aldebaran.
"Get away from me!" He shouted desperately.
"You know," Al murmured in a cold voice. "I think that I've seen this same game play out a thousand times before. You all start out strong and confident, full of rage, fire, and fury. But then… you just run out of fuel. And this next part has always been my favorite. The moment that you realize that there is no escape. That nothing is going to work."
Regulus screamed and started throwing everything he could lay his hands on at Al. The entire world around Regulus exploded like a bomb.
Regulus panted for breath, but before the explosion 's dust could even settle, it all turned into golden sand. And once again, Aldebaran stood there, not a scratch on him. "Know Despair," Aldebaran intoned.
Regulus gave a frightened whimper.
Aldebaran started to laugh. It was a cold, cruel sound. "You always thought that you were so strong, didn 't you, Regulus? But strength means nothing when you're battling eternity. It's patience that wins here. "
Regulus skittered back. "I… am the most splendid existence on this planet! I cannot be trapped like this!" Regulus screamed.
Aldebaran just chuckled.
"There's a way out," Regulus whispered to himself. He sat on the bridge, curled up in a ball and slowly rocking himself back and forth. "I know that there's a way out. There is. There has to be. Things couldn't possibly end like this. Not like this. Not for me. I am Regulus Corneas, the most splendid existence on this world. Everyone wants to worship me."
Aldebaran snorted. "When you say things like 'people want to worship you,' I can't figure out if you're going insane or if you were already crazy long before we even started. You may just be the most repulsive man that I 've ever met in any world or in any timeline. Your 'wives' have abandoned you, your Master plans to sacrifice you to prove her loyalty, and the other Archbishops despise you."
"Won't listen," Regulus hissed. "I won't listen. You're trying to distract me. To stop me. You're trying to keep me trapped here."
"Breaking down already, huh?" Aldebaran remarked. "Funny. You seemed so confident when we started. But I guess that's the funny thing about time. It has a way of humbling even the most arrogant."
Regulus shivered. "How…" Regulus whispered, "How long…"
Aldebaran considered it. "Err. We've been in here for… about ninety days or so. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, really."
Regulus let out a pained whimper.
"Please," Regulus rasped.
Aldebaran looked at him in surprise. "What was that?"
Regulus lay there on the ground, his eyes haunted. Aldebaran walked over so that he could hear his breathy whisper.
"Please let me go," Regulus whimpered, staring up at the cloudless sky.
"Wow," Aldebaran remarked.
"Please, just let me out," Regulus sobbed, "I'll do anything. I can give you whatever you want. Power, money, women, anything. Just please make it stop. You must be desperate to escape, too! You've been trapped in here this whole time with me."
Aldebaran stared at him and then he started to laugh. A high, cold laugh echoed across the bridge and the chasm. "You want to know something funny, Regulus? For me, life is always like this. This is the way that my world works. I can 't escape it. The only thing that makes today different is that I'm dragging you along for the ride. Honestly, I even find your vile company appealing compared to all the long centuries of looping I 've had to do without a single other soul to talk to. So, you'll just have to get used to disappointment."
Aldebaran kept laughing, and Regulus slowly covered his ears to block out the chilling sound.
Regulus curled up in the fetal position on the bridge, rocking back and forth. He 'd been trapped here in this endless loop that replayed over and over again for what felt like years. Regulus was immune to such mundane problems as starvation or exhaustion but the sheer repetition and unreality of these events had made Regulus's fragile mind crumble.
Aldebaran sat on the edge of the bridge, his legs dangling over the edge.
Aldebaran sighed. "You know, I think that now maybe you can feel the weight of my despair. So many people believe that melancholy, or 'depression' as we say back home, is simply a form of sadness, but the reality is far deeper than that. Despair shapes and curves your life just like gravity deforms space." He paused. "Hey, do you know what a black hole is?"
Regulus didn 't answer right away. His unseeing eyes stared up at the blue sky. "A what?" He asked vaguely.
"A black hole," Aldebaran explained. "This was cutting-edge science in the world I originally came from. That part's a long story, don't worry about it," He waved off the details, "Anyway, a black hole is a place where gravity is so strong that it starts to deform reality. Once you cross a certain point, called the event horizon, the only possible path that you can move in is forward. The singularity isn't just in front of you. It's literally in your future. No matter which way you turn, how you move, or how far you go, every movement just brings you closer to the singularity. You can't get away from the black hole. Motion in any direction just brings you closer! It's kind of a freaky concept when you stop and think about it."
Aldebaran shuddered. "That's my life, you know," He said in a suddenly hollow voice. "Each major step in my destiny is written in stone. I can't diverge from it. All I can do is try to find the least painful way of reaching it. Any time that I try to diverge from the Path, I'm just sent back to try again. You seriously don't know hell until you've seen the Path because there is no escape. No free will; the only way is forward, our choices preordained by forces beyond our comprehension. The events we experience in this life are invariant : they are planned to the last detail. We encounter these events because we are meant to. We experience them so that we can facilitate some mad plan beyond human understanding, nothing more and nothing less. " He said in a broken voice.
Aldebaran shook his head. "You know, I spent close to a hundred years trying to keep my arm? Almost two hundred and ninety-two thousand loops, reliving the same three hours, fighting that same gladiatorial fight against a massive troll over and over again. At first, I thought that it was just impossible to win. Then, over time, I got better, smarter, faster. Then, about thirty thousand loops in, it finally happened. I won. Unfortunately, I lost my arm in the fight. And then I decided to go for broke. I'd not only find a way to beat the troll, but I'd find a way to keep my arm, too! It took me another two hundred and sixty thousand loops or so, but I did it. I not only beat that troll, but I also didn't lose my arm in the fight. I was overjoyed!
"…Until the Path sent me back to try it all over again!" He said with an eerie laugh. "Losing my arm was my fate! I couldn't change it, no matter what I did! So, finally, I gave up! I had to go back and let the troll chop off my arm before I killed him! I had to pretend to struggle in a fight that I could win with my eyes closed and lose the arm I could have kept, just so that time would keep moving forward! This is my life!"
Regulus struggled to say anything. Even swallowing was a struggle. "…Please…" He whispered in desperation.
"Never mind," Aldebaran sighed, growing morose. "I suppose that it doesn't really matter. What matters is that this is despair. You see, despair eliminates options. It presses against you, hedges against you, forcing you into a single path, the only path: The path that leads moronically forward. That's the real tragedy, you know: are you the actor or the audience? In either case, the end remains the same: all we can do is march forward, blindly hurtling onward toward death. All of us, nothing more than fate's oblivious puppets."
Aldebaran stared off into the distance with a moody sigh.
Finally, Aldebaran got up and walked toward Regulus. He moved slowly, but Regulus flinched back, shielding his face from Aldebaran with a terrified whimper.
Aldebaran squatted down in front of the trembling Regulus.
"But let's get back to business, shall we?" Aldebaran said in a voice suddenly like ice. "I have a message for your mistress."
The wagon thundered north. Emilia sat in the back of the wagon, moaning and rocking back and forth.
"Emilia," Felt said awkwardly. "Are you… OK?"
Emilia took a ragged breath. "Felt," She whispered. "…Could you?"
"Could she what?" Garfiel asked, but Felt was already nodding.
Felt grabbed Garfiel 's arm. "Come on, Garf. We have a job to do."
"We do?" He asked in confusion.
Felt climbed onto the driver platform and pulled Garfiel after her.
They now sandwiched a very confused Subaru.
"What's going on?" He asked.
Felt took the reins from him. "You're up, boss," She said shortly.
Subaru frowned and looked behind him. His eyes widened when he saw Emilia lying down and curled up in the fetal position. Subaru scrambled back into the wagon and lay beside her, pulling her into his arms.
Emilia squeezed him tight and buried her face in his chest. "Subaru," She whispered.
"It's OK, Mili," He said gently.
Emilia broke down and cried. Subaru held her close as Emilia 's body trembled and shook from the sheer force of her wrenching sobs.
"Why am I crying?" Emilia asked in confusion. "Everything's OK now! I'm safe, and I'm with you! Why am I crying?"
Subaru rubbed her back. "You're crying because you've been really scared for a really long time," He whispered. "You're crying because you had to push the fear down and bury it so that you could stay safe while you were trapped with Regulus. But it won't stay buried forever. It comes roaring back. And then you have to let it run its course."
Emilia took a ragged breath. "You understand," She whimpered.
Subaru almost chuckled. "Better than you could possibly imagine," He whispered.
Emilia moaned. "I was so scared," She whispered. "I thought that I could handle what… Regulus did to me, to us ... but I couldn 't. I kept telling myself, 'I'll be strong,' but... I wasn 't strong. I was just so scared, Subaru. I 'm still scared... "
Subaru rubbed her back. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I… don't know," Emilia admitted.
"That's fine," Subaru told her. "We can talk about it, but don't feel like you have to." He hesitated and then made a desperate joke. "By the way, I really like how you look in a wedding dress," He said with a weak smile.
Emilia gave a pained laugh. "Well, we can't say that we didn't get anything from this experience."
Emilia took a deep breath. "Subaru, do you… do we have anything else that I can wear?"
Subaru chuckled. "Actually, yes," He rummaged around in the saddlebag that lay in the wagon and pulled out a very familiar dress. He handed it to Emilia.
Emilia stared at it. "Subaru, this… where did you find this?"
"A gift from Vincent," Subaru muttered darkly. "He had clothes prepared for all of us."
"Subaru," She whispered, "This… this looks just like the dress I used to wear. How-"
"I don't know," Subaru admitted. "Vincent managed to prepare clothes for all of us. And they all looked like things that we wore back in the capitol. Yours looks a little different, though. This looks like your normal clothing, not the dress you would have worn to a formal occasion."
"Maybe that's because people's memories of me were sealed," Emilia murmured. "Vincent would only have known about what I wore when we fled the Sanctuary."
Subaru nodded. "Which is already freaky. That information couldn't have been easy to obtain." He looked at the folded dress held in Emilia's hands. "I haven't seen you wear this in a long time. This is what you wore the day we met," he remembered.
Emilia took a few deep breaths. "Subaru, I'm going to get changed, OK?"
"Hang on," Subaru said calmly. He reached into the saddle bag and pulled out a blanket, wrapping it around Emilia to give her privacy.
Emilia gave a weak chuckle. "Subaru, you always understand me," She murmured as she stripped off the wedding gown and slipped into her old white dress.
"Well, I try," Subaru took away the blanket and put it back into the saddlebag.
Subaru heard a fluttering sound and looked up to see that Emilia had stood up in the wagon. She 'd taken the wedding gown and flung it out onto the road with an expression of disgust on her face.
Then Emilia sat back down with a sigh.
Subaru wrapped his arms around her, guiding her head back against his chest. They sat in silence as the wagon drove on.
"We should probably talk about what happened… shouldn't we?" Emilia whispered.
Subaru gave her a tight squeeze. "Only when you're ready to," He promised.
Emilia took a ragged breath. "I was so scared, " She said in a small voice.
Subaru held her tight. "I was too," He admitted.
Emilia shuddered. "You can't imagine what that place was like. The awful things that he did to those women," She went on. "He took everything from them. Their names, their identities, their pasts, all so he could play some sick game of forcing the women to worship him. "
Subaru 's muscles tensed, and his rage flared, but he beat it back.
I need to be focused on helping Emilia heal. I can 't waste time thinking about how badly I want revenge on Regulus.
Not that I have any way to get revenge on him anyway ….
Emilia started to blubber. "He made me help him, Subaru, " She said, her voice cracking in deep shame. "He made me… If I refused, he'd beat me. Or he'd beat the others. He made me pick , Subaru, " Emilia started to sob hysterically. "He made me choose who would suffer every time that I made him angry. He made me choose who would pay for my mistakes! "
"He did those things," Subaru whispered soothingly, "Not you. You did nothing. He was going to hurt those people one way or the other. Regulus was playing a game with only one player."
Emilia shook her head. "He kept trying to break me down. Trying to take everything from me. Trying to turn me into another broken doll like all the others. For a while, I was scared that… maybe I would disappear into that madhouse …"
"You're too strong for that, Emilia," Subaru whispered. "I know you. You can overcome anything. Regulus underestimated you. He thought that you were beaten. That's why he lost."
Emilia shuddered. "He brought me into this place called the Mirror Room. And he showed me visions of things. I was chained up in there and forced to stare into the mirrors. Even if I closed my eyes, I could still see the visions!"
Subaru held her gently. "What sort of visions?" He whispered.
Emilia whimpered. "The first time… he showed me visions of the forest being cursed. Of all the elves being frozen…"
"I know how badly that must have affected you…"
"But it was worse this time," She said in a dead voice. "Regulus told me that the only reason that he and the stranger and the Black Snake ever came to the forest was to kidnap me!"
Subaru 's stomach dropped.
I always suspected that might have been the case. But I didn 't want Emilia to be thinking that way. But now, Regulus used that idea to beat her down. Would it have been smarter of me to warn her of my suspicions?
"Even if that's true," Subaru said carefully. "It wouldn't be your fault."
"How can you possibly say that?" She whimpered.
"Because it's true," Subaru said simply. "This is just another one of Regulus's cruel games. Like you said, he told you to pick who he would hurt because he wanted you to feel responsible for what he did."
"Every time he beat someone, he told me it had been my choice," She said in a dead voice. "That I chose for this to happen."
"Which is a lie," Subaru said firmly.
"Subaru, it's not a lie. I picked-"
"Who would be hurt," Subaru cut him off. "That's what he said. He didn't let you choose if someone would be hurt. He'd already decided to beat somebody, and he just let you choose who it was so that you'd feel guilty. But he never offered you the chance to say that nobody should get hurt. That's why it's called a 'sadistic choice.' It's meaningless to give someone the choice of who gets hurt after it's been established that somebody will. It was just a way to manipulate your feelings."
Emilia shuddered. "And last night… I tried to escape. But Regulus caught me. He brought me into the Mirror Room again," She said in a trembling voice. "And he showed me… he showed me visions of him murdering you!" She covered her face and wept.
Subaru held her close. "It was all lies," He said gently. "I know how scary it was, but it was all lies."
"He did it… because I asked him to…" Emilia said in horror.
Subaru blinked. "Huh?"
Emilia trembled in his arms. "Subaru, I'm so sorry! " She choked, burying her face in his chest.
Subaru held her tight. "For what?"
"I betrayed you! I told him to kill you!" She sobbed.
Subaru blinked. " What ?! "
"He made me," Emilia said in a broken voice. "I couldn't take it… I'm so sorry!" She burst into tears.
Subaru held her tight. "Mili," He whispered, "Tell me what happened."
Emilia took a ragged breath. "He… he started to twist my arm. He told me that he'd stop if I begged him to kill you…"
"Then I hope that you did as he said immediately," Subaru said at once, not because he thought there was any chance that Emilia had done that but because he wanted to undercut the guilt that she felt. "No matter what you said to him, they were just words, Mili."
Subaru wasn 't sure that Emilia had even heard him. "I couldn't take it, Subaru, " Emilia wept. "It hurt so much! He kept twisting it, and… I heard it snap! I actually heard the bone break before I felt the pain. It felt like my whole body was on fire! I … I just started to… I would have done anything to make him stop! " Her body trembled, and she wept.
Subaru rubbed her back. "Of course you would have," Subaru whispered. "Anyone would have. You don't need to feel guilty about this."
"Subaru, you don't understand," Emilia said, her voice crackling with self-loathing. "I gave in to him. I broke down, and I begged him. I begged him to kill you. I even told him that you'd done terrible things to me, and it was all just to stop the pain! It wasn't even to protect anyone else! I gave in because I was so weak!"
"You are not weak," Subaru assured her. "Anyone would have done the same thing you did. I just wish you'd given in before he hurt you at all."
Emilia looked at Subaru in disbelief. "How could I do that? He was asking me to betray you! And I did ! "
"They were just words, Emilia," Subaru said calmly. "They don't mean anything except that Regulus is a monster who needs to die. You did what you had to do. Don't blame yourself for this, Mili, because I certainly don't blame you."
Emilia shook her head. "I betrayed you…" She repeated in a numb voice.
Subaru just held her close. "You just did what you had to," He said.
Emilia choked. "Last night… He brought me into the Mirror Room again. He showed me visions of him murdering you. He reminded me that I'd asked for this. He said that he'd only done it because I begged him to. He kept going on and on…"
"It's OK, Mili," Subaru whispered, holding her tight. "You know those were all illusions. They weren't real."
"I… I do, but…" Emilia swallowed hard. "I don't know why the Mirror Room hurt me so much. It's so stupid! It's like something a child would think up to bully someone! I know that it was stupid, and it shouldn't affect me, but… He just kept going and going for hours and hours. After so many hours-"
"That's a common form of psychological torture, Emilia," Subaru cut her off in a gentle voice. "Don't underplay it. You went through something that can be just as traumatic as being stretched on the rack. He hurt you. He hurt you badly."
Emilia swallowed hard. "The other wives were going to kill me," She said in a broken voice.
Subaru stiffened. "What?"
Emilia whimpered. "Regulus kept hurting them because of me. He would try to break me by punishing them. He always hurt them worse than he hurt me. He was so angry because he was forced to keep me there. The wives said he was worse than ever before. And last night, they told me that they couldn't handle it any longer. That my life was putting them in danger. So they said that if Regulus didn't kill me today… they would, " She sobbed.
Subaru let out a slow breath. I wish I had a few of those women in front of me right now, He seethed.
Subaru fought to push his rage away. "You're going to be alright, Mili," He said gently. "It's going to take time, but you'll be alright. He hurt you badly. But you came through it. You're with us again. You're safe. And you've come through it in one piece."
"Did I?" Emilia whimpered. "I'm not so sure."
"You did," Subaru encouraged her. "You're hurt. And you'll be hurting for a while because of this. But you're going to put it behind you. I know you, Emilia. You're too strong to let that monster win."
"I don't know, Subaru. I don't feel strong."
"Maybe not. But you are. You don't need to try to be strong right now. Just hanging in there is already being strong enough."
Emilia sighed. "Honestly, I'm not sure if I can be strong anymore. Not after... everything. Right now, I feel … fragile. I feel like it would only take something tiny to shatter me into a thousand pieces."
Subaru looked at her sharply.
Emilia shook her head. "I feel kind of… broken. Like maybe I left… bits and pieces of myself behind in that nightmare."
Subaru tried to be reassuring. "You'll pull yourself back together, Emilia. It will take time. But you'll get there. You're with people who love you. And as soon as we get to Priestella, everything is going to be OK again."
Emilia sighed, and her muscles relaxed a tiny bit. "I knew you'd come for me, Subaru," Emilia whispered, staring out into the countryside as they drove down the road.
Subaru held her tight. "The whole time you were gone, I thought of nothing else," He said.
Emilia took some deep breaths, and she began to settle down a little.
Subaru thought for a moment. "Mili, why did you say that Regulus would hurt the others worse than you? Was it because you were a valuable hostage?"
"Maybe," Emilia said. "But the real reason was that someone forbade him to do anything to me."
Subaru blinked. "What?"
"It's true. Someone came to the mansion. Someone that Regulus was very afraid of. Do you have any idea who it could be?"
Someone that Regulus was afraid of?! He thought in horror. How is that even possible?!
Or … wait a minute…
Subaru hesitated. "Actually, I… I do remember when I was talking to the Witch Cult renegade in Girali… He mentioned that the Archbishops have a master. Someone who can give them orders and even punish them for their failures. "
"That must be who it was."
"Did you get a good look at him?"
"Her. And no. I never got a look," Emilia said.
Subaru swallowed hard. Someone more powerful than Regulus , He thought in horror. What a terrifying thought … And it sounds like maybe we've already managed to get this person's attention.
The sooner we disappear, the better; we 're starting to punch way above our weight class. I don't even want to imagine what someone who terrifies Regulus could be capable of.
"Subaru," Emilia whispered plaintively. "I don't know what to do. I always wanted to be strong. But now I feel… I'm just so scared…"
"You don't have to be strong all the time, Mili," Subaru promised. "It's OK to be scared. You've been through hell. No one would blame you for feeling this way. Just let it all out... I'm here."
Emilia sighed. Part of her wanted to push back on this and insist that she could pick herself up and try again, but she was so tired. She finally collapsed in Subaru 's arms and slept for what felt like the first time in days.
Late that morning, Patrasche approached the border, marked by a bridge over a deep chasm where a group of Vollachian soldiers guarded the pass.
Emilia had demanded to drive the cart. She was desperate to prove that she could still be useful, and Subaru immediately acquiesced.
This is a low-risk activity that should help rebuild some of Emilia 's confidence.
However, now that they were facing the border guards, Subaru found himself having second thoughts.
"This is going to be complicated," Subaru muttered. "Vollachia and Lagunica aren't exactly friendly so we need to come up with a good story about why we're heading over the border before they'll let us pass."
"Not to mention, the story has to be good enough for the Lagunica soldiers on the other side to let us in!" Felt added.
"It won't work," Garfiel said shortly. "Anyone leaving Vollachia needs papers before they're allowed to cross the border. The soldiers won't buy any story that we tell them."
"Gee! This is a great time to mention that part, Garf!" Felt exclaimed. "Now, what the hell are we going to do?"
Subaru triggered Reason and Judgment . He scanned the area carefully. Four soldiers stood in the road, waiting to stop and inspect travelers. Almost forty more stood nearby, close to the customs building. Several dozen riding dragons were hitched nearby in case anyone tried to escape.
Subaru restarted time.
"Mili," Subaru whispered. "Listen carefully. I want you to drive up to the soldiers slowly and act like you're going to stop. Then, when I give you the signal, drive through them! Get across the bridge as fast as you can."
"What kind of plan is this?!" Felt whispered incredulously.
"Quiet," Subaru ordered.
Emilia nodded and drove the wagon up to the soldiers with a slow and steady trot, giving no sign that she was planning anything at all.
The soldiers waited in the middle of the road, and as they drew close, one held up a hand, calmly ordering them to halt.
"Now!" Subaru shouted.
Emilia snapped the reins, and Patrasche launched forward like an arrow shot from a bow.
The soldiers ' eyes widened in shock as Patrasche and the wagon thundered toward them. The soldiers threw themselves aside to avoid being run over as the riding dragon raced onto the bridge.
Felt looked behind them and saw the customs office in an uproar, the soldiers already jumping onto their riding dragons and setting off in pursuit.
"Subaru, what the hell do we do now?!" Felt demanded. "They're already after us! We're in an overloaded wagon. They're on riding dragons! We can't outrun them!"
"I know," Subaru grinned.
Felt looked at him as if he was crazy as they crested the long bridge and started down the other side.
The large company of Lagunican guards on this side of the bridge were standing around calmly. They stood next to the Lagunican customs office, chatting with one another and drinking warm beverages. Not many travelers were expected, certainly not this early in the day. The Lagunican soldiers also had riding dragons stabled nearby, but they showed no inclination to mount.
As the wagon descended toward them, the Lagunican soldiers looked at them curiously. Their expressions shifted into shock as the horde of mounted Vollachia soldiers appeared behind the wagon, bearing down on their position.
The Lagunican soldiers franticly blew whistles to spread the alarm. They grabbed weapons and started to mount their steeds.
Felt looked between the Vollachian soldiers pursuing them and the Lagunican soldiers in front. She finally put it together, and her eyes widened.
Felt stared at Subaru in disbelief. "Oh my God, you are insane. "
Subaru laughed.
"What do I do?" Emilia cried out.
"Just drive through them!" Subaru shouted.
"Huh?"
"Trust me! It will work!"
Emilia snapped the reins, and Patrasche powered on. The soldiers, now believing themselves under attack by a whole army, were largely indifferent to the wagon thundering over the bridge, but they quickly got into formation to block the incoming riders attempting to invade their homeland.
The Vollachians quickly reined in their dragons, barely avoiding a full-on collision with the Lagunican soldiers.
As the wagon vanished around a corner, Subaru could hear the enemy officers screaming at one another and trading threats.
Felt shook her head in disbelief. "There is no way that we survived that. "
"Did we just start a war between Lagunican and Vollachia?" Emilia gasped.
"No!" Subaru snorted. "Little border skirmishes like that happen all the time. I got the idea because I remember listening to a General at a party who complained that a group of fugitives managed to escape the law by running into Vollachia because the guards on both sides were too hostile to each other to cooperate."
"I'm not sure if anyone should be trying to flee into Vollachia," Felt noted.
"At least they don't know who we are," Garfiel murmured. "So we can't be blamed for this."
"With our luck, the Sages' council will blame us for it without knowing we were involved," Felt muttered.
"Let's worry about that later," Subaru said. "For now, let's head west toward Priestella.