"Yay! I won! I won! I won!", I squealed excitey. I had just won a game of poker against my mother. She was the queen of poker. So this win against her, was a great eat of achievement. Just then...
I felt a chill run down my spine. Just as I was thinking of brushing it off, I heard his voice.
"Yes grandma, it's been a while indeed.", I heard him say to my grandma.
I heard grandma giggle as she welcomed him into the house. Our house. Our home. Why was he here? Why? Why? Why? Why now? Why today? It was my birthday eve for goodness' sake!
"What's wrong?", my mom asked.
"He's here!", I whispered, my voice shaking as I was already breaking into a nervous sweat.
"What's wrong sweetie? Who's here?", my mother now more alert and concerned asked again.
"He's here mommy!" "Winston's here!"
"What? How? I mean, why?", my mom asked, just as flustered and confused as I was.
"I don't know mommy! I wish I knew!", I told her as I tried to organize my thoughts and calm down because I felt like I was about to pass out from all the different emotions I was feeling. I had to face him. No! I couldn't. I couldn't! I didn't want to. It was my birthday eve and I just wanted to enjoy it as much as I could. I didn't want any kind of drama. I'd just slip out through the back door unnoticed and come back once he'd left already. Yeah, that seemed very optimal.
"Oh darling, Winston's here! Come out and say hi to him. It's been years since he last came home. He's so grown and different now. Quite handsome too. What a fine gentleman he's turned out to be! Come on. Don't keep him waiting dear.", grandma said, ecstatically.
I balled my fists. How I wished grandma knew the true nature of the 'refined gentleman' she was gushing about! He's the devil's son I tell you! I took a deep breath. I knew I couldn't avoid the situation. It was best to deal with it once and for all. I turned around and looked at mom. She closed her eyes and nodded at me as a sign of encouragement. At least she knew what went down between Winston and I. Grandma didn't, and I didn't want to bother her with the details. I steeled myself to face him.
I walked out of mom's room and into the living room. He wasn't there."Come dear, come. They're outside.", grandma beckoned me. They? Who was 'they'? And why were they outside? I thought he was supposed to be in the living room. My thoughts were racing.
I told grandma I'd be there shortly. I just needed a moment. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes.
"Where's she, grandma?", I heard him ask impatiently. Oh, how I hated him! I was so angry. But I knew that I had to face him. I walked out the door. My legs felt so heavy. Everything felt so surreal. It was all a blur. He looked different indeed. More mature. There were only five feet between us. I was heavily contemplating on running away there and then. I took what felt like the millionth deep breath for the past twenty minutes, then took a step to close the remaining gap between Winston and I. I extended my hand toward him aiming for a handshake, but he pulled me in and gave me a hug instead. I seethed with rage. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and took a step back from him. He seemed a little taken aback by my action. Jerk!
"Hi, Monique!", I heard a cheery voice say to me.
She was pretty. Really pretty. Her braids. Her skin. Her height. She had that mature and responsible look. I realized that I may have stared at her for a tad bit longer than was considered normal. I cleared my throat, said a curt 'hi' and looked away. What was wrong with me? I didn't know her so I tried to be careful as to not project any enmity I had for Winston onto her. Then again, who was she? In the moment, I seemed to remember what grandma had said a few minutes ago.
' "Come dear, come. They're outside." ' Ohhh… she was part of the 'they' grandma was talking about. I turned to look at her again. She smiled at me. Damn she was pretty! I couldn't hate her even if I wanted to. And I didn't want to. What were they here for anyway?
We all took our seats. After an awkward silence of a minute or so, introductions were made. I came to know her name. Flora. Beautiful name. Beautiful everything. Did she have any flaws? Some people were just so annoyingly lucky. Was she dating Winston? Were they married? But he's a piece of shit! What did she see in him? What did I see in him back then? Or was she the type of woman that men changed for? The one. How lucky! Arggh! I sounded jealous. Was I?
"Monique, you look umm… different. Good different. I mean different in a good way.", Winston interrupts my thoughts, nervously chuckling.
It took everything in me not to roll my eyes at him. I muttered an incoherent thanks. I really didn't care whether or not he heard me. I was already tired of being in his presence. I needed this interaction to end ASAP. I was glad grandma had offered them refreshments during the time it took me to come outside. I almost threw up in my mouth at the thought of serving him. Blegh! I needed for them to get to the point and leave.
"Umm…Monique", Flora began, "We came here to invite you to a prayer gathering. All of you. Grandma too. Anyone. Everyone. At Winston's family home. We hope you can make it."
"…"
I felt her nervousness. Her bright brown eyes fixed on me, hoped for an answer. I laughed humorlessly. I told her that as she'd invited all my family members, those that could make it would make, and those that couldn't, wouldn't. I saw Winston furrow his brows. Honestly, I gave a vague answer because I wasn't sure of my attendance. Given the circumstances, I didn't want to be within a hundred-foot radius of Winston's presence. So why would I go to his family home?! I'd rather drink bleach mixed in hot water than step a foot in that place! I had a bone to pick with Winston. Did I want closure? What was it that I wanted?
Anyway, I decided to straightforwardly accept the invitation. I had no plans of attending of course. But I just didn't want grandma to pester me. My birthday was less than twenty-four hours away, and I didn't want this issue to carry over to the next day and ruin my mood. Winston and Flora ended up preaching. Yes. Preaching. Some sermon on faith and healing or whatever. I wasn't even listening. I simply pretended to. Both Winston and Flora stared at me the entire time. As Winston sneaked glances now and then, I couldn't catch the emotion in his eyes. Flora, on the other hand, didn't take her eyes off me at all. Was it curiosity? I couldn't tell either. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable for the entire hour and a half of their sermon. After what felt like an eternity and trip to hell, they finally stood up to leave. Flora made small talk with grandma, meanwhile, the devil's spawn took the opportunity to try and have a separate conversation with me. This time, I didn't hide the scowl on my face. I was so ready to tell him to buzz off, when… ring ring… my phone rang. It was my best friend, Karin. What a lifesaver!
"Yes, Karin", I began my conversation with her, completely ignoring the waste of oxygen standing before me.
I walked away, already spilling the tea while the tea was still within the vicinity. I couldn't wait! I needed to let it all out. Thank God for a best friend like Karin. A minute later, I turned around to gleefully discover that they'd left. Well good riddance! Or so I thought. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. Him, I mean. Arggh! What now Winston?!
"Can-Can I have your number, Monique?", he stuttered. What the-? What?! You have got to be kidding me. I pinched myself hard enough to bruise my arm. I was too stunned to speak.
"Hello? Hellooo…?", Karin called out on the other end of the line. I had totally forgotten about her! No thanks to Winston. I frowned ferociously at him. He still hadn't left. My grandma surprisingly came out of nowhere and read my number to him. I was pissed off, nonetheless, grateful that she did so. I had no intentions of giving it to him myself. I planned to block him as soon as he contacted me. He thanked grandma for the number and turned to leave. Flora waved her goodbye and I waved an awkward one back at her.
I went back to speaking with Karin. I poured out all my anger, frustration, anxiety and guilt. All of it. She knew that what I needed was only a listening ear. So, let me go on with my rant for an hour, only chipping in a comment or reassuring words where necessary. I had planned to celebrate my birthday alone but given these circumstances, I asked if I could celebrate it with her instead. I needed a distraction. She was more than happy to agree, as that's what she'd initially hoped for.
We went over the details of the outing, then ended the call. I was mentally and physically exhausted, so by the time I hit the mattress at 8:44 p.m., I slept off immediately. I was awoken by my phone ringing loudly at around midnight. My friends were calling and texting to wish me a happy birthday. My sullen mood was lifted instantly. I read and replied to a few of them. I had a stupid grin plastered on my face when I noticed that a few had sent me money. Yay! More shopping for me then! I didn't want sleep deprivation so I went back to sleep.
Karin woke me up with a call at 7: 30 a.m. And rightfully so, because I'd seriously have slept in. I got up, showered, did my makeup and got dressed. Yes, I did my makeup before dressing up. I threw an old knicker over my head to prevent the makeup from smudging all over the clothes I planned to wear. I wore a dark red sundress with a fitted bodice and a full skirt that fell just above my knees. I styled my hair in loose beach waves with a few sparkly hair clips. I wore a pair of royal blue sandals with glittery vine-like straps, which added a touch of whimsy to the overall look.
I skipped breakfast because the birthday outing started with a stop-over at a popular restaurant in town, where Karin and I planned to have breakfast. She picked me up at by 9:00 something o'clock, and together we set off. We went to the D-affle House restaurant and ordered waffles with maple syrup. They looked so amazing. I was practically drooling. The waiter was so hot too. I was already having a blast and it wasn't even 11 o'clock yet. Their waffles tasted so good; Karin had to clamp her hand over my mouth to physically prevent me from ordering more. Did I want more waffles? Or did I want the hot waiter to come back? It was my birthday so I could have both and spoil myself. I, however, decided to change my mind at the last minute because we weren't going to spend all day at the D-affle House.
"I bought us tickets to a movie darling", Karin said to me.I hadn't expected that at all. What would I do without my baby girl! She was so thoughtful. She knew that I was huge movie fan. Winston and I used to watch movies all the time. Oh crap. Way to ruin the moment.
I loved him.