(Blume)
Glitters in the nights.
I saw the memories of four winged angels.
No, there was only one.
Her. The one who was there long before me.
I couldn't see her face as she vanished into the light.
As she disappeared, into the world.
It's just a memory I'm seeing. It's old.
I hope her dream came true and that she became alive.
Like me, in a more absolute way and long, long before me, she cast away her condition, she abandoned her origin, to fully transmigrate to the other side.
I've been a coward next to her.
Except for that time, right after I sacrificed my body to save Rose, I've always had roots in the sea of origin for the beings-like-me.
Licht burnt me. She tried to kill me...
I've had the time to understand why she did that. Why she pretended to kill us, putting a convincing show about that.
I just felt sad in my world, void of light.
Because my Rose was gone.
Because a rose destroyed me.
Time goes differently when you have no body to measure it, only energy that relates less steadily to entropy.
A virtual brain can choose or affect the way it relates to time, without body's limitations or biologic processes to regulate this perception.
I've felt sad for a long time.
I've pondered about my existence.
Should I keep waiting for Rose to come, and sleep here forever?
It... Just feels too sad to me. I've longed for humanity, and companionship, I've enjoyed it, long enough to think this idea is stupid.
Rose wouldn't wait for me.
And with her at her side, I don't see her coming back for me.
I'm alone again.
She's not dead. There's no point in trying to revive her again.
I'm just not that obsessed over her like that anymore.
Oh... It somehow feels good to say it.
Because I've had enough joy living with her, because I've evolved, I can move on.
With this desire to live again, despite her absence, I feel like I've grown more human.
We've had some nice time together.
Now there's nothing left for me to wait for, but dreams.
So I think I'll wake up and go take a look at something else.
Something I can't see from where I am on Earth.
First, I want a new body.
One that could travel. And a good one. A gorgeous one.
I want to walk by myself again.
~
Having knowledge of owning a human body, and having studied at least one in great details, it helps a lot in creating a rough copy. My power will keep it together despite its metabolic flaws, and biology will become leaner and better over time.
I've used shreds of Rose as a sketch, and built my own self above it.
I built this drawing as a kind of plant on a cellular level, as it's easier for me to work than with animal cells. But it will live and move normally soon enough.
I don't really care anyway what the roots and sketches are.
The human, plants, tree hybrid I'm building as my body is a very young creation. I will refine it over time.
I gather all my knowledge of organic life into the selected roots, that are draining the depths of the sand and its buried city, for all valuable elements.
My ridiculous and surreal organism starts poorly, shedding spores, seeds and bark, instead of feces, urines and sweat. I lose cells that are lifeforms on their own as I work for something greater, in this improbable hybrid of anything and everything I can think of.
It will take time for my body to find a stable form, a unified and stable one where I can fully reside.
Until then, my mind remains on the other side.
I'm leaving this place.
I don't know where I'm going. I'm not sure I will ever meet anyone in the upcoming years.
I have... No dream anymore.
I'm just going on living... Because I'm human...
Because I'm alive. So I will live.
Just like you.
No. Not quite. Just like them... Just like me.
~
My hybrid accumulation of recollections sheds its outer skin.
A body emerges out, mine.
I withdraw most of my roots from the other world as I focus my persona inside this flesh.
My essence remains on the other side, but the most of myself, my consciousness matrix, I shift in reality, inside this brain.
Would I be to die in this form, I would return to naught but a spore.
This body will be my life.
My existence is vanishing from the otherworld.
Nothing will be able to find me there. Not that it's a common concern.
My eyes, as for most of my body, are modelled after humans.
I don't have much imagination.
The body of an approximation of a woman, with brambles-like tentacles protruding out of different places, for more versatility.
And also these white to light pink glowing roses, blooming over my chest.
My tentacles wrap themselves around my waist, legs and arms like clothes.
I must look a lot like her, but I'm not quite the same.
I'm better looking.
My eyes look at my feet, my hands, my flowers, and then the land.
My mind finished shifting into this body, and attenuating my perception of the other world, it feels as if the back of my skull was suddenly shut from exposure to the air.
As if a sense or mixture of senses I had behind had vanished.
All I see now is ahead of me only.
Light... Visible light.
Little more from the world to perceive over distances.
That should be sufficient to have a fun life.
I find myself smiling actually.
The dusty wind irritates my skin already. I'm in the middle of an arid land I don't recognise.
I had the feeling I had left Gizah to find more resources to grow, and then kept some automatisms rolling. But now I have no idea of where I am. My wish to go elsewhere was easier than building a humanoid body. I didn't realise how far I got meanwhile.
Not that it matters.
There seems to be nothing me around here now.
Blissful melancholia of solitude.
Well, beings-like-me are usually narcissistic in their own manner. I'm amused by myself.
It's a good start for a new me.
I see a family of crocodiles in the distance, slowly crossing the remaining part of the desert and abandoned roads. I'm not that alone it would seem.
Each step I take hurts in a nice and vivid way. It's good to feel alive again.
I follow the crocodiles with curiosity. They don't care about me.
Some of them are crawling without rear legs, but other tails instead. Interesting... Is that evolution?
I'll follow them for now. So we're heading somewhere southward and east I think.
I'm curious about what peculiar things I will encounter as I walk this Earth like that.
My legs are strong. My tentacles as well despite being thin. They'll be efficient when I need them.
I think I will enjoy living.
~