(Licht)
Licht... You were supposed to be the one to remember me...
It saddens me but sometimes I think that I should have taken both of your eyes.
Why did you leave me behind?
Without a purpose. Without a life... Without an identity but my life as a slave.
Now that you're gone, I feel awful. This is misery...
You never told me what you intended for me. Should I be your heir? Or simply you didn't care about me.
As a mixture of Rose & Blume, you were complete. You were a complete being.
I was born without the blume. And maybe not with the entire rose either.
I saw the fall of the Merkabah.
And I felt your death far to the west along with our god.
It was your fulfilment.
What about me? What about me!
I'm a unique individual like everyone else, I'm no one and abandoned still. With crutches to replace my feet and walk, and friends who don't recognise me any more than they recognised you... I'm no one.
I could have killed Rose for what she cursed us with...
~
For a while, I thought I would be the one to kill Rose. I really considered it. Meeting the other mindless roses didn't appease me at all.
I could kill you Rose, for the existence you cursed us with. You sold us... Before we were even born, to this monstrous god.
You sold your soul, no, our souls, to this thing... Just so you could live again. I hated you so much for this.
Then, we met.
And far worse, I met Bleue.
Bleue... Shocked me.
Your dream come true, as your life reborn, was at the cost of great nightmares for us, your other selves.
I just hope... You don't see us as spare bodies...
That thought, is my most repulsive nightmare.
That you would own us like cattle, and that god was only the artisan of your repulsive dream.
I doubt you're seeing us that way.
That's hopefully only a bad dream I have.
After you were gone to find Blume again, I was searching the remains of the Merkabah with others.
You have no idea of how many of our corpses we buried.
The production of us was at an industrial scale since you gave your ova to it.
It didn't waste any time thinking things through, that I can tell you.
God didn't think much about anything, and certainly not our well-being.
I was looking for something to confirm the idea I was having for my choice in life.
Since Licht died, I want to carry on her name.
And I wanted to carry on her spirit, which I couldn't as a mere human.
I needed power...
If I ought to be a new light, I needed similar power of irradiance.
The power of a being-like-her...
Either a friendly one like Blume, which is unlikely to meet by chance in this land.
Or from an enemy like Ogre, which I couldn't face yet anyway...
Or as an artefact from a dead one, like Dragod...
Which given its incredible size, probably left puddles of its crystallised blood somewhere, given how quickly it died.
The body remains ought to contain some of this liquid concentrated with magical energy.
And we found it.
It evaporates quickly, whether it's sealed or not. A bottle of this white blood closed tight sees its level drop as quickly as an open bottle, or than ether really.
Seeing how quickly it evaporates, I can see why we sometimes think of ether, when we write about magic.
Anyhow...
I drank all I could find.
Which made me seriously ill. But I kept stubbornly doing so, with everything remotely shining that energy we could excavate and dig out, until I could see the flying ribbons and the scattered droplets to the elements.
And then I could see the magic, and its remains, and I knew where to dig.
Three of the mindless, or rather orphan roses, agreed to follow me in my wish to become Licht.
They were... With severe will, and wishes of revenge as you can guess.
If I survived, we would share the power of god's remains.
If I died, well...
We reached the remains of the heart, buried deep below the remains of the Merkabah.
The condensated remnants of its dry eir had made an artefact, and that was all that was left of god's power.
I swallowed what looked like a glowing mushroom.
I thought I died.
But you can easily guess what happened next.
I became like Licht, in more ways than one.
Surely at a much lower level of power and control, as I was born without the inane sense for magic, but it worked easily enough like any other animal spirit that makes the body work.
My hair rapidly turned white afterward, and I began to age rapidly like Licht as well.
My entire self began to decay at an accelerated rate.
My friends looked at me with a mixture of worry and sorrow.
I have been open about my wish to them, about what my will is for the remainder of my life.
I will destroy as many other false gods as I possibly can.
I want to clean the Earth of these demons-like-her.
As for Rose, we'll see after this is all over. For now, she doesn't matter.
Licht killed one being that behaved like a dangerous and egoistic god. But they are many, growing like toxic mould all over the world. Dragod was not the only one...
I will live on to cleanse them, as much and many as I can.
They will feel my wrath.
And when I die, which should happen in probably less than two years max, given how quickly I now age, another one can take over from where I left.
The three orphan roses agreed with my will and to help me in that crusade.
And so we departed toward the channel tunnel to meet the Queen.
~
I've heard of the Queen. From your memories.
I was wondering whether I should hunt down all beings-like-her indiscriminately, or only the ones claiming to be gods. I was pondering whether I should kill the Queen or not.
The light og Licht was already consuming my body like a candle. It hurts a lot.
This fire burns me everywhere and within my body. I won't be able to hold onto that light for very long. Maybe less than a year...
So I should pick my battles wisely.
The Queen wasn't happy to meet us. She told us that quite bluntly. But at least she didn't attack us.
She told us she had the time to think about what you two had told her before, and that she had made her opinion evolve.
We were surprised, hearing her story of your last encounter.
From now on, she accepts the death of her people through reasonable hunting when they're outside the tunnel.
Because she explicitly told us that she had changed her mind about something, and because she accepts death; she shown us a humility I could only respect, no matter how bitter I am.
She also knew why we came, and that's mostly why she was not thrilled to meet us.
Because Dragod was almost a member of her species or family of beings-like-her.
One she considered innocent.
She was aware of our intentions. And she gave me her opinion, advices and warning. She told me bluntly that if I were to kill many monsters in violently and spectacular manner, it would end up revealing my intents to the whole world. The repeated message it would keep sending through the other side of reality would reach and warn the whole population of beings-like-her in the end. And they would learn. And they would react.
This means... I could spark the beginning of a war.
Between them, and us human survivors.
I could start a war... If I were to kill without thinking.
Who should I kill then?
Q - I can't make you stop or reconsider this path you have chosen. It's too late. So if you have to wash yourself with blood and however don't want to start a pointless war of species, then my advice would be to kill only the monsters wandering around.
L - You're all monsters to me.
Q - I expected you to say that, and it is really sad... What I mean is, if you were to kill beings just trying to live for themselves, those not trying to change the world outside their house and body, you would end up making all of us your enemies. Because you would be a threat to all.
Q - However, the seldom beings that are aggressive, destructive without a concern and a threat even to other beings like ourselves, it's different. Those who enjoy pointless killing and poisoning. Those who refuse to live in the world as it is, or an incapable of doing so. Those who would attack you on sight just because you appear human even. Them, we would mostly understand If you fight and destroy them. Some of us might even agree to help.
L - The real monsters, like ogre then...
Q - Doesn't it make sense to fight first the ones that are a real threat to humans? And a threat to everything else really. The darkest ones, they will be tougher enemies than I would be. But you would make the world safer defeatism them first. Yes.
L - Thank you for your advice... Though... What about Dragod then?
Q - The one you call as such did not kill anyone outside of itself. This god was not a monster. You and your people should not have killed it.
Licht didn't start a war.
But what she accomplished, killing Dragod, it sent a shockwave and ripples through the world.
An unintentional message, that this could happen.
Beings-like-her around the world, including this Queen, they heard it loud and clear.
There is a little woman, who could be the end for you...
What the Queen is telling me is that if I end up repeating this message without consideration, I will make more enemies than I will kill. More and more of them will become hostile, and retaliation will appear. And in the worst scenario possible, there will be a consensus between them, and a war between their species and ours will start.
I... Can hear what she's telling me. And it pains me to quell my hatred like that, but I think she's right.
If I'm not acting with a minimum of intelligence and justice in the way I use violence, my results will make reality grow worse, not better. I can see that now.
However... Dragod had to die...
L - Let's say... You as well, you also have some things to learn about respecting what life is, if you don't understand why Dragod had to die. What we roses were is the perspective that eludes you to this day. But I don't blame you for that, and I sincerely appreciate that you show a greater respect to your people than god could consider. That's the difference between you and that god.
God had to die. But the Queen should live on.
We parted there. The Queen's emulation vanished.
And I began focusing my senses to detect odd beings-like-her.
We went through the tunnel with the Queen's blessing.
After a few days, we reached the continent.
I think I'm aging faster than Licht even. Fuck my life and existence...
And then, I felt the presence of at least three unusual beings, somewhere further in France.
Two of which ended up being real monsters.
And the third one being her Bleue...
~