(Rose)
The goodbyes were done quickly.
Our friends don't need to try holding us with them any longer. They have more than enough roses on their hands already.
We've equipped ourselves. I took the rifle Zes' had prepared for me. As she gave it to me, I realised she had no more love for firearms than I did. But she's a smart pragmatic, and I'm trying to be, against some of my instincts.
Our backpacks loaded and our shoes repaired, we left at dawn.
It's snowing outside, and still dark.
We're too excited to care.
We're going. Anywhere out there.
Toward the south of the country.
We'll go across all of Europe, circling around the sea in a lengthy pilgrimage, to reach Egypt.
I wouldn't bet on finding a working boat, and us being able to navigate. Even though that would save us about one year of journey I guess.
B - Do you think she'll wait for you?
R - If Blume is aware of what happened and what we're doing, she will. She's not going to worry for a mere year of slumber. We'll find her.
B - I want to meet her. But more importantly... I'm so happy to be able to travel with you now!
She says so, circling her arm around mine.
A corner of my heart is chirping loudly, and flying away along with it.
And thus we went.
~
We spent our day walking slowly under the snow on an uneven road heading south, toward London.
I tell Bleue about my first visit to London. About the book I found. It was just old Karelian folklore in Swedish, something related to the Kalevala. Nothing of much importance really.
But it spoke of Daiûa. A few chapters were about her and them.
Then I tell Bleue about my second visit to London, centuries later. I drifted through the city on a floating embarkation, with an improvised gasmask. The sights were still mesmerizing.
R - My eyes hurt me for days after that. Blume was still young and ashy to use her power. She was beginning to grow as well.
B - From what I understand about daiûas, they tend to behave as if they know everything and the best course of action. But the truth is they may know far less than we think. Because they have a different way to learn from us, harder to realise where the blind spots in knowledge are.
R - We figured pieces of that over time yes, and over our mistakes.
I must have looked grim for a moment because Bleue tries to bring me solace.
B - Please, don't have regrets. Everything you've been through, everything painful you've suffered and done; it was all meant so we could be together anew today.
I smile.
R - Some regrets and guilt will keep haunting me nonetheless. Perhaps forever...
B - but I will console you as much as you need, and as long as you need. Until this blood on your hands and on your soul doesn't haunt you anymore.
We walk peacefully in the snow. I try not to think too much about my ghosts. Bleue senses that.
B - I won't let you go...
Something shivers within me. We keep walking silently a little while.
She's seeing through me and my eyes. I'm still afraid, and she's sorry with me.
I've been happy, I've been merry, I've been curious, I've been sad. I've been so depressed I could have died. I've been angry and afraid. She's happy for what has been good and sympathetic with me for what has been painful.
Some anxiety is relieved now. I shed something from the corner of my eye.
B - I won't let you cry alone anymore.
That was clumsy to say like that, but I get what she means.
She's embracing the world. Bleue runs a few steps ahead of me and suddenly yells joyfully all around. She's funny to watch.
She runs back to me, beaming.
B - I'm so happy!
She hugs me through our thick coats and stops me in my walk.
I hug her back gently. I'm happy too, trust me.
Maybe more than even you can imagine...
~
Night fell quickly. It's winter alright.
We found a wreck of a truck to spend the night in. We haven't much wood to burn but we'll be fine.
It's still snowing outside. We're looking at the falling snow, silently.
We only hear the sound of the fire just beside us in the cabin.
When the fire dies, I close the door and spread the embers. We keep watching the snow under the dim moonlight, waiting for slumber to carry us away.
B - Did you hear that?
R - What?
B - Nothing!
That was a poor joke, but it summarises the situation pretty well. We're happy, it's snowing, and all is silent.
We're all alone in the world...
But it doesn't sound like a sad thing to us, at all.
That's probably why my late sisters came to hate me...
I move a little under my coat, trying to forget their ghosts. Bleue's hand comes to grab mine.
I don't mind the world being just ours...
And it's her dream come true.
~
I dreamt of a plant growing, a bush becoming lush and buds of flowers appearing. Cerulean roses blossoming and blooming before me.
It's probably the first time I dream like that.
Bleue is already awake. She's still not used to sleep outside like that, so it was a poor night for her. But she certainly doesn't care right now.
She yawns, pulls my ear a little, and we begin our morning setup lazily.
We'll be fine.
And we're happy.
We put our shoes and coats back on, and we leave our shelter. The sky is clear. The road is white. Bleue runs ahead, yelling joyfully until her throat hurts.
I smile greatly as I catch up with her. I feel so warm.
We're on a fresh new land covered with snow.
It looks amazing.
We're together, just us two.
Free. Entirely free. This is happiness.
I don't know what the future will hold for us; but I will enjoy our time together to the fullest.
As will she. As she is.
I tell her over the days, everything I've seen and everything I've been through.
I share the joys and the pains. I shed bowls of anxiety and fear, which vanish against her skin as if it had never been but within my dreams or imagination.
She brushes my tears away and hugs me to vaporise all the anxiety I still sweat at times. It's efficient...
I get so much lighter. My heart is becoming as merry as me. It feels weird and new. I feel new.
She's smiling as brightly as always, happy.
I hold her hand with the same smile.
And so we go into the world.
~